to their site.
Dodgers Trade For White Pierre
Scott Podsednik traded to the Dodgers. Call ‘em The Podsgers! Should be convenient for his wife — much closer to the Playboy mansion. Or so I read in an article in Playboy about Playboy while not looking at the pictures. So Pods comes to L.A. because Manny’s never coming back? They really needed a pinch runner? Not really sure what the playing time will be for Podsednik once Manny’s healthy, but I guess he could see three days a week. He’s definitely going to see his time cut from his days on the peasant Royals. That’ll give him more time to worry about what Lisa’s doing now that they’re in a city where the most eligible bachelor isn’t a barbecue rub salesman. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball: Roy Oswalt – Looks to be headed to the Phillies. All the deal needs is his approval. I think if the Phils throw in a tractor, Roy will be a go pitcher. Hello Wins, Goodbye Houston. I’ll go over this move further this afternoon if it does indeed clear and doesn’t become a Cliff Lee to the Yankees move.
Shane Victorino – As first reported here after being read elsewhere, Victorino did end up on the DL. Which makes room for the one and only… The King of Swing… The Man Whose Upside Makes It Almost Worth Learning How To Spell His Name… The Bastard Child You Wish Your 17-year-Old Daughter Had…
Domonic Brown – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs as he was called up by the Phillies. I just went over my Domonic Brown fantasy. Click the link and it transports you there. It’s magic! Grab Brown now (how, cow?) for his upside. Plus, you can change your team name to ‘Under Domonic Possession.’
Stephen Strasburg – Of course he was shutdown for a few days. I’m surprised the Nats were even able to write the press release to announce this while wearing those kid gloves. For those in H2H leagues, it could work out for you if he misses a few starts now then pitches in September. And that’s how you look at the glass half full!
Andres Torres – 4-for-6 with his 10th homer. Is it me or am I talking about this guy every day? I think I am. Know why? Because he’s doing something every day.
Juan Uribe – 3-for-5, 4 RBIs. He has 14 homers on the year. Uribe’s one of those types that is fantasy relevant all year, but if you hold him all year you probably feel like you’re not trying hard enough so you pick him up and drop him a dozen times and his stats on your team look like crizzap.
Brian Wilson – 1 IP, 2 ER as he blew the save. It must’ve been the shoes!
Brad Mills – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks. For the low, low price of facing the O’s, you too can look like a major league pitcher!
Ben Zobrist – Left the game with lower back stiffness, which is less embarrassing than lower front stiffness.
Carlos Lee – 2-for-4 with 2 homers. Too bad Carlosly only modifies your team once every two weeks.
Bud Norris – 6 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks. He has 85 Ks in 80 IP, which is purdy, but I can’t recommend him outside of NL-Only leagues. His ratios look like the bathroom in Slumdog Millionaire.
Joey Votto – 3-for-5, 2 Runs, 2 RBIs and his 26th homer. Domo arigato, Joey Votto.
Brandon Phillips – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 14th homer and 12th steal. Is it me or do guys that get around 20/20 seem to move their homers and steals up together?
Travis Wood – 5 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks. His 0.96 WHIP and 33:10 K:BB in 37 2/3 IP isn’t too shabby at all. Hard to grab him in too shallow of mixed leagues, but he gets the Pirates next. Argh, that’s not bad.
Trevor Cahill – 8 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks. First dominating start against a tough offense all year. His owners should hope that doesn’t mean he’ll now go to pieces vs. the Royals next time out.
Michael Wuertz – He came in for the save! Then gave up a run and was removed for Breslow! For those keeping score at home, I’m dropping Wuertz in all of my leagues. Bailey should return in time for the A’s next game.
Jason Bay – Could still go to the DL for his concussion. We just have to collectively think positive. Please DL him. Please.
Johan Santana – 5 2/3 IP, 7 ER, 14 baserunners, 2 Ks as he let everyone beat him, including the first Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.
Carlos Beltran – 2-for-5 with his first homer in, like, three years. If anyone thinks this is a sign, you should trade him to that person.
Garrett Jones – 4-for-4, 3 RBIs and 2 homers. Robot Jones came, Robot Jones saw and Robot Jones didn’t feel anything because he’s a robot.
Huston Street – Could return today to the closer role. One guy who won’t be closing is Manny Corpas, who entered the game in the 3rd inning. Unless the guy from Memento was managing. Matt Belisle and Joe Beimel could see saves if Street can’t return, in that order.
Joel Pineiro – Out for 6-8 weeks with an oblique strain. Maybe they can now trade him to the Diamondbacks for Justin Upton.
Will Rhymes – 2-for-5 as he played his fourth game in a row though that may change with the Peralta rental. He still hasn’t run, but if Will’s playing he should be rhyming and stealing.
Jhonny Peralta – The Detroit Tigers were obviously embarrassed by the Matt Garza no-hitter. So much so, that they traded for the man whose bat is almost as silent as the H in his first name.
Luis Valbuena – Was recalled with the trade of Peralta. He was hitting in Triple-A (6 homers, .313 in 96 ABs) and could add some pop at MI. Though I wouldn’t pick him up until I see something first.
Brian Duensing – 6 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 2 Ks. Last year in 72 1/3 post-All-Star break innings, he had a 3.36 ERA and 2.78 in September. I have a feeling this won’t be the last time I talk about him. He is a Duens… Duens… Duens… Duensing machine.
Chone Figgins – Hit his first home run of the year as they let him bat from 2nd base.
Alessandra Ambrosio
