It's T-Shirt/Jersey Shore Season 4 Italy Trailer Tiiiimmmeee!

Jersey Shore Season 4 starts in two weeks (Thursday August 4 at 10pm on MTV) and the trailer was just released. I'd like to start out by saying, "I'm sorry Italy". Actually, no I'm not. I'm sorry that I'm not sorry. Everyone needs a dose of the Jersey Shore cast. It's a rite of passage and you're life can't move on without having experienced it. Sort of like a Bar Mitzvah or getting your first haircut.

As long as JWoww and her boobies are going to Italy I'll be watching. Everyone keeps saying how Jersey Shore sucks now and they can't stand it but I don't expect anything out of it other than being entertained by wild drunken meat heads for an hour a week. And entertained by wild drunken meat heads for an hour a week is exactly what I get. Fights? Snooki crashing into cop cars? A lack of understanding of the English language? Roid rage? Ronnie knocking out Situation? Producers reminding everyone of the enormous episode checks so that they become friends again? Bring it on!

P.S. Situation, wtf is that haircut bro? You look like Mr. Spock meets Lloyd Christmas.

Italian Mayor Sets Guidelines For Jersey Shore Cast

According to the New York Post, the mayor of Florence, Italy is setting guidelines for when the Jersey Shore comes to Italy on May 9:

"I will not allow them to use the Palazzo Vecchio or other historic buildings," Florence Mayor Matteo Renzi told the Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera yesterday, "but I cannot ban them from using our city as a set."

According to news reports, Mayor Renzi required producers to agree to a number of party-pooping rules if they want to film in the city of Michelangelo and Dante:

* No shooting in bars, clubs or any place that promotes the reckless consumption of alcohol.

* The cast is prohibited from drinking in public on camera.

* Florence may not be portrayed as a drinking town.

* And the cast must interact with authentic Italian people in authentic cultural settings -- thus avoiding the city's hordes of tourists and students.

Wait, what? So basically Jersey Shore in Italy is going to be like if MTV created a reality show about Jimmer Fredette 's life. A month ago I posted about how Italians were saying they didn't want the Jersey Shore in their country and were trying to rationalize the 9/11 attacks because of it. After this newest development I hope MTV purposely breaks every single one of these "rules". The mayor of Florence has about as much pull as the manager of a Starbucks. What the hell is he going to do if (alright, when) Snooki barfs in a gondola or the Colosseum? The answer is nothing. He will be sitting back enjoying the extra money the Jersey Shore will be pumping into his economy and like it. Yeah, I get it, neither of those is in Florence but somehow Snooki and Deena got a taxi ride to NYC last season so I wouldn't bet against this happening.


Okay, about that "no shooting in a bar that serves alcohol" business. Maybe this Richard needs to be reminded that there is no legal drinking age in Italy and you only have to be 16 to buy alcohol. I think he should be worrying about 12-year-olds blacking out on one Peroni rather than some people who are almost 30 bringing more interest to his country. Actually, he should be trying to find these girls and helping them create more videos so that he can use them to help his point:

Snooki Dominated At Wrestlemania

Snooki was at Wrestlemania 27 and pulled of a ridiculous multi-cartwheel back-flip combo with a body-slam. Yes, you read that correctly. No, I'm still not convinced this is her and not a body-double. Yes, this was incredible. No, she still isn't hot. The only reason I think this might be Snooki is because the only people that are her size and look like her come from a small isolated island in the Atlantic Ocean that was attacked by Whangdoodles and now live in a chocolate factory.

I'm not sure what's more unbelievable - that Snooki actually did this or that the Orioles are 4-0.

Italy Doesn't Want The Jersey Shore

The Jersey Shore cast is going to Italy for Season 4 and Italians aren't too happy about it. An article from Eonline.com has a ton of quotes from angry Italians and to say they don't want them there is an understatement.

"In fact, Italians are comparing the gym-tan-laundry loving pack of guidos and guidettes to the 'worst stereotypes of Italians,' with one person going so far as to say that Osama Bin Laden 'had a point' in attacking the United States.

But the insult grenades are already being tossed the cast's way, with Italian columnist Roberto Del Bove dissing the Shore denizens in the Rome newspaper New Notzie. 'They embody the worst stereotypes of Italians, multiplied by thousands and Americanized,' he wrote.

One commenter on an MTV Italia website offered this little ditty: 'When I see this, I wonder whether Osama Bin Laden had a point.'

Aldo Grasso, a prominent TV critic for the same paper told the Wall Street Journal that he's 'afraid' and that 'the image of Italy abroad is already weakened.'

Seriously Italy? You can go fuck yourselves. So now it's okay to commit acts of terrorism because of The Jersey Shore? Really? Reeeeeaaallllyyyy? RRRREEEEEEAAAAALLLLLLLLLLYYYY??? But the "the image of Italy abroad is already weakened" argument is such a solid one. You know that someone from Australia who is thinking about going to Italy is going to say, "Nah, fuck that, I heard the Jersey Shore will eventually be there and I don't want to set foot anywhere they have or will so I'm not going anywhere near that place". Yeah, that's definitely what their thought process will be. Go back to watching soccer, I'm getting ready for MLB Opening Day.

Leaked Naked Picture of Sammi Sweetheart From Jersey Shore NSFW

A naked picture of Sammi Sweetheart from Jersey Shore leaked. No one knows how it leaked or who leaked it but after seeing it I don't think anyone is asking questions. There's not much to say about this except that it's not your standard leaked naked pic and this girl is definitely an absolute freak. You'll see after the jump (Hint hit the "Read More" button below").


Check out the really NSFW uncensored pic here.
Source of censored pic.

One girl from Jersey Shore was busy showing off her sweet box while another was doing this. Yup.

The Situation Gets Booed at the Donald Trump Roast

Jersey Shore's Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino was at the Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump last night to roast Trump and well, watch. Just watch.

That was painful. I was rooting for the guy but it just got hard to watch. Is it possible that this performance is further fallout from the tragic disaster last week in Japan? I haven't seen The Situation try and fail at something this badly since he lost his bid for Sammi (Speaking of Sammi, wait until you see what I have for you in a little bit) to a roided out crybaby. This is the most clueless The Situation has been since he banged out a girl on a bed of cheese. The Situation has a better chance at passing for under 30 than he does at being remotely funny. Oh hey look, I just came up with 3 better jokes than The Situation had all night. 4.

Honestly it must be ridiculously easy to be his writer. All you have to do is give the people what they want and that is for him to look like a huge doucher. You just have to have him talk about banging chicks, making bank with minimal effort, have him say "bro" 47 times and give him a few pranks to pull during the show. "Yo, send those girls to New York City." "GENUIS!"


The real crime though is how much he probably got paid to do that. He definitely got 6 figures, easy. Apparently Situation threw in a bunch of racial jokes that Comedy Central didn't air but they have leaked online and I have them here for you. You're welcome.

"Yo Snoop, what up dawg ... you know you have so much in common with Donald Trump? Trump's ancestors were into real estate ... and your ancestors were considered property."

"I'm not from New Jersey ... I was born in Staten Island which is a New York borough ... not to be confused with the burro Marlee Matlin blows onstage in Tijuana ..." He continued, "Relax, she didn't even hear it ... I mean hey, at least her mouth is good for something right? Hey, that was definitely some great work Marlee ... have you ever done anything else actually?"

"Larry King is rockin' the Armani diaper ... Seth MacFarlane is sporting Victoria's Secret ... panties. And Snoop is wearing a Louis Vuitton condom ... nah, I'm just kidding, he don't wear condoms, you know that!"

"I like Larry King ... he's a playa ... he actually wrote a book named 'Mr. King Is Having a Heart Attack' ... he got that title from a hooker he was fucking."

"Trump is a good looking dude ... if your eyes are like Marlee Matlin's ears."

Jersey Shore Cast on Ellen Degeneres

It was actually only Snooki, the Situation, Pauly D and JWowwwwwwwwwwww (one "w" for each of her Y chromosomes) for most of the interview but they are by far the most entertaining of the group. Ellen jumped right into asking Snooki about her recent arrest and how the judge called her a "Lindsay Lohan wannabe". Snooki said that during her drunken escapade she "kind of annoyed people". Snooki is annoying? Shocking! I feel as though I just found out I was adopted.

Snooki then talks about how she wants to date a "business guy" that can support her. Pauly D says, "Whatever guy that wants to date Snooki, from now on, I'm gonna screen him. So all you guys out there, if you wanna date Snooki you gotta see me first." I think it's safe to say that Pauly D is going to have a bunch of free time.


After a bunch of boring shit about Ronnie and Sammi the conversation goes back to Snooki when she tries to convince everyone she reads. She says,

"I think like no one really knows how we are. Like we have like different sides. Like obviously you see us on the show - we party, we do this, we do that but like outside of the show like we're very quiet. Like me, I'll go to frickin Barnes and Nobles, get a coffee and just sit down and read. I mean you know like no one would ever think that but like we have different sides to us and people don't see that."

See that's where you're wrong Snooki. Everyone thinks that you read and have a firm grip on the English language, especially after hearing "like" more times than at a Facebook conference. Watch the full interview for even more entertainment:

Kanye West Premiers New Video

And it sucked. I don't need to ask what you were doing last night between 10-11 pm because there is only one thing to have been doing. So it could assumed you watched the incredibly hyped premier of Kanye's new video: Power. And boy was it hyped. Claims the video would be epic came from Kanyeezy and he tweeted earlier this week that it wouldn't be a video at all, instead a painting. He wasn't lying. The video consists of Kanye standing under a pavilion type thing surrounded by characters from Michaelangelo-esque paintings.

Thoughts?

Snooki's Mugshot

Fresh off of her phenomenal debut in the Jersey Shore season 2 (the Obama tanning tax, loves Miami except the trannies, Pilgrims around in the '20s, etc.), Snooki was back to her classy ways. We all know she was arrested for being a fucking dumbass. Oh, I meant Disorderly Conduct but either works. Anyway, her mug shot was finally put on the internet and I couldn't wait to post it for you.


Fuck she is ugly. I'd totally still bang her though...but don't worry, with like 5 million condoms.

Teresa Giudice's Commercial for Sizzle Tans

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Snooki Falling Off a Bike and Face-planting

On Friday Snooki got arrested and in our post we mentioned how right before that she was wasted trying to get on a bike and fell off onto the boardwalk. Well here is the video for your easy viewing pleasure. I could watch this video thousands of times on repeat. Wait a minute, I've been doing that for the last 2 hours. The only thing that could have made this video better was if she fell through the wood and into piranha infested water below.

Snooki Arrested in Jersey

The classy continue to get classier. Snooki was arrested moments ago in Jersey for disorderly conduct. She was seen pouring coke into a beer bong but wasn't photographed with any alcohol unless she had that coke pre-mixed. She was seen doing body shots earlier in the day. Police found her in her usual drunken state on the beach wearing a t-shirt that said "SLUT". She was heard screaming "WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH". She is one of the ugliest bitches I have ever seen and I'm still not really sure why she's famous. I'd like to see her in a cage match against Verne Troyer. Seeing as how fat she got recently she might just sit on him and end it.

The 2nd season of "Jersey Shore" premiered last night and if you didn't watch it I highly suggest you do because it features all of the things we loved about the 1st season - idiots, drinking, fighting and supplying us with even more reasons to hate New Jersey.

*Click to enlarge*

Check out a video of here being arrested here and a video of her face-planting after trying to get on a bike before she was arrested here.

Source

17-Year Old "The Situation" in a Turtleneck

Everyone loves looking at old pictures and this one from when Jersey Shore's "The Situation" was 17-years old is priceless. MTV released this picture of him and his siblings all rocking turtlenecks. I'm not really sure turtlenecks were ever in style and what parents dress their teenage+ aged kids in matching clothes?? Their mom must not have been able to hit up the gym or tanning salon because she was busy washing turtlenecks all day. I'm pretty sure his brother on the right is wearing a bra.

Start the Countdown

Thank God it's back. Season 2 of Jersey Shore starts July 29th and I finally saw the trailer. As everybody in America knows, the Jersey Shore is the greatest television show ever and this time without it has been miserable. So it doesn't need to be said I creamed when I finally saw the trailer for the next season. Apparently its in Miami (it could be placed in Lincoln Nebraska and I'd still watch) and it looks great. Ronnies making out with two chicks, Pauly D's banging grenades, and most importantly, JWoww's tits.

I can't wait.

Jon "Dragon" Gosselin Searching For His Zen

Jon Gosselin recently got this awesome idiotic looking tattoo that took 14 hours to do.


Seriously? I really hope that's just a henna tattoo but I'm pretty sure it isn't. How soon before he regrets this decision...Week? Month? Yesterday? The man actually wishes he was a 25-year-old living on the Jersey Shore. His fat ex-girlfriend Haley Glassman commented, “I think congratulations are in order. He has successfully turned his back into an Ed Hardy t-shirt. It’s what he always wanted [to look like Ed Hardy]…so mission accomplished!” Ah yes, every 33-year-old's dream...to have 8 kids, get divorced, date an ugly fat girl then get a stupid looking dragon tattoo on your entire back.

Source

The Motherfucking Situation

The Situation, aka THE GREATEST FUCKING MAN ALIVE, is apparently now releasing a rap album. Thank god. I've been a fan of the Situation since day one. Some people try to tell me Vinny's the best member of Jersey Shore. My response? Fuck you. The Situation clearly is the most badass person on the face of this Earth and now he plans on proving it. By releasing an album. Like a god damn badass. You can guarantee I will be buying (or illegally downloading) this album the second I can.

I'm most thankful for these little cameos of Jersey Shore participants because it keeps me satisfied in between seasons. The past couple months without being able to watch those little angels have really been tough.