That was painful. I was rooting for the guy but it just got hard to watch. Is it possible that this performance is further fallout from the tragic disaster last week in Japan? I haven't seen The Situation try and fail at something this badly since he lost his bid for Sammi (Speaking of Sammi, wait until you see what I have for you in a little bit) to a roided out crybaby. This is the most clueless The Situation has been since he banged out a girl on a bed of cheese. The Situation has a better chance at passing for under 30 than he does at being remotely funny. Oh hey look, I just came up with 3 better jokes than The Situation had all night. 4.
Honestly it must be ridiculously easy to be his writer. All you have to do is give the people what they want and that is for him to look like a huge doucher. You just have to have him talk about banging chicks, making bank with minimal effort, have him say "bro" 47 times and give him a few pranks to pull during the show. "Yo, send those girls to New York City." "GENUIS!"
The real crime though is how much he probably got paid to do that. He definitely got 6 figures, easy. Apparently Situation threw in a bunch of racial jokes that Comedy Central didn't air but they have leaked online and I have them here for you. You're welcome.
"Yo Snoop, what up dawg ... you know you have so much in common with Donald Trump? Trump's ancestors were into real estate ... and your ancestors were considered property."
"I'm not from New Jersey ... I was born in Staten Island which is a New York borough ... not to be confused with the burro Marlee Matlin blows onstage in Tijuana ..." He continued, "Relax, she didn't even hear it ... I mean hey, at least her mouth is good for something right? Hey, that was definitely some great work Marlee ... have you ever done anything else actually?"
"Larry King is rockin' the Armani diaper ... Seth MacFarlane is sporting Victoria's Secret ... panties. And Snoop is wearing a Louis Vuitton condom ... nah, I'm just kidding, he don't wear condoms, you know that!"
"I like Larry King ... he's a playa ... he actually wrote a book named 'Mr. King Is Having a Heart Attack' ... he got that title from a hooker he was fucking."
"Trump is a good looking dude ... if your eyes are like Marlee Matlin's ears."
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