It's T-Shirt/Jersey Shore Season 4 Italy Trailer Tiiiimmmeee!

Jersey Shore Season 4 starts in two weeks (Thursday August 4 at 10pm on MTV) and the trailer was just released. I'd like to start out by saying, "I'm sorry Italy". Actually, no I'm not. I'm sorry that I'm not sorry. Everyone needs a dose of the Jersey Shore cast. It's a rite of passage and you're life can't move on without having experienced it. Sort of like a Bar Mitzvah or getting your first haircut.

As long as JWoww and her boobies are going to Italy I'll be watching. Everyone keeps saying how Jersey Shore sucks now and they can't stand it but I don't expect anything out of it other than being entertained by wild drunken meat heads for an hour a week. And entertained by wild drunken meat heads for an hour a week is exactly what I get. Fights? Snooki crashing into cop cars? A lack of understanding of the English language? Roid rage? Ronnie knocking out Situation? Producers reminding everyone of the enormous episode checks so that they become friends again? Bring it on!

P.S. Situation, wtf is that haircut bro? You look like Mr. Spock meets Lloyd Christmas.

Italian Mayor Sets Guidelines For Jersey Shore Cast

According to the New York Post, the mayor of Florence, Italy is setting guidelines for when the Jersey Shore comes to Italy on May 9:

"I will not allow them to use the Palazzo Vecchio or other historic buildings," Florence Mayor Matteo Renzi told the Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera yesterday, "but I cannot ban them from using our city as a set."

According to news reports, Mayor Renzi required producers to agree to a number of party-pooping rules if they want to film in the city of Michelangelo and Dante:

* No shooting in bars, clubs or any place that promotes the reckless consumption of alcohol.

* The cast is prohibited from drinking in public on camera.

* Florence may not be portrayed as a drinking town.

* And the cast must interact with authentic Italian people in authentic cultural settings -- thus avoiding the city's hordes of tourists and students.

Wait, what? So basically Jersey Shore in Italy is going to be like if MTV created a reality show about Jimmer Fredette 's life. A month ago I posted about how Italians were saying they didn't want the Jersey Shore in their country and were trying to rationalize the 9/11 attacks because of it. After this newest development I hope MTV purposely breaks every single one of these "rules". The mayor of Florence has about as much pull as the manager of a Starbucks. What the hell is he going to do if (alright, when) Snooki barfs in a gondola or the Colosseum? The answer is nothing. He will be sitting back enjoying the extra money the Jersey Shore will be pumping into his economy and like it. Yeah, I get it, neither of those is in Florence but somehow Snooki and Deena got a taxi ride to NYC last season so I wouldn't bet against this happening.


Okay, about that "no shooting in a bar that serves alcohol" business. Maybe this Richard needs to be reminded that there is no legal drinking age in Italy and you only have to be 16 to buy alcohol. I think he should be worrying about 12-year-olds blacking out on one Peroni rather than some people who are almost 30 bringing more interest to his country. Actually, he should be trying to find these girls and helping them create more videos so that he can use them to help his point:

The Situation Gets Booed at the Donald Trump Roast

Jersey Shore's Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino was at the Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump last night to roast Trump and well, watch. Just watch.

That was painful. I was rooting for the guy but it just got hard to watch. Is it possible that this performance is further fallout from the tragic disaster last week in Japan? I haven't seen The Situation try and fail at something this badly since he lost his bid for Sammi (Speaking of Sammi, wait until you see what I have for you in a little bit) to a roided out crybaby. This is the most clueless The Situation has been since he banged out a girl on a bed of cheese. The Situation has a better chance at passing for under 30 than he does at being remotely funny. Oh hey look, I just came up with 3 better jokes than The Situation had all night. 4.

Honestly it must be ridiculously easy to be his writer. All you have to do is give the people what they want and that is for him to look like a huge doucher. You just have to have him talk about banging chicks, making bank with minimal effort, have him say "bro" 47 times and give him a few pranks to pull during the show. "Yo, send those girls to New York City." "GENUIS!"


The real crime though is how much he probably got paid to do that. He definitely got 6 figures, easy. Apparently Situation threw in a bunch of racial jokes that Comedy Central didn't air but they have leaked online and I have them here for you. You're welcome.

"Yo Snoop, what up dawg ... you know you have so much in common with Donald Trump? Trump's ancestors were into real estate ... and your ancestors were considered property."

"I'm not from New Jersey ... I was born in Staten Island which is a New York borough ... not to be confused with the burro Marlee Matlin blows onstage in Tijuana ..." He continued, "Relax, she didn't even hear it ... I mean hey, at least her mouth is good for something right? Hey, that was definitely some great work Marlee ... have you ever done anything else actually?"

"Larry King is rockin' the Armani diaper ... Seth MacFarlane is sporting Victoria's Secret ... panties. And Snoop is wearing a Louis Vuitton condom ... nah, I'm just kidding, he don't wear condoms, you know that!"

"I like Larry King ... he's a playa ... he actually wrote a book named 'Mr. King Is Having a Heart Attack' ... he got that title from a hooker he was fucking."

"Trump is a good looking dude ... if your eyes are like Marlee Matlin's ears."

Jersey Shore Cast on Ellen Degeneres

It was actually only Snooki, the Situation, Pauly D and JWowwwwwwwwwwww (one "w" for each of her Y chromosomes) for most of the interview but they are by far the most entertaining of the group. Ellen jumped right into asking Snooki about her recent arrest and how the judge called her a "Lindsay Lohan wannabe". Snooki said that during her drunken escapade she "kind of annoyed people". Snooki is annoying? Shocking! I feel as though I just found out I was adopted.

Snooki then talks about how she wants to date a "business guy" that can support her. Pauly D says, "Whatever guy that wants to date Snooki, from now on, I'm gonna screen him. So all you guys out there, if you wanna date Snooki you gotta see me first." I think it's safe to say that Pauly D is going to have a bunch of free time.


After a bunch of boring shit about Ronnie and Sammi the conversation goes back to Snooki when she tries to convince everyone she reads. She says,

"I think like no one really knows how we are. Like we have like different sides. Like obviously you see us on the show - we party, we do this, we do that but like outside of the show like we're very quiet. Like me, I'll go to frickin Barnes and Nobles, get a coffee and just sit down and read. I mean you know like no one would ever think that but like we have different sides to us and people don't see that."

See that's where you're wrong Snooki. Everyone thinks that you read and have a firm grip on the English language, especially after hearing "like" more times than at a Facebook conference. Watch the full interview for even more entertainment:

Teresa Giudice's Commercial for Sizzle Tans

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Snooki Arrested in Jersey

The classy continue to get classier. Snooki was arrested moments ago in Jersey for disorderly conduct. She was seen pouring coke into a beer bong but wasn't photographed with any alcohol unless she had that coke pre-mixed. She was seen doing body shots earlier in the day. Police found her in her usual drunken state on the beach wearing a t-shirt that said "SLUT". She was heard screaming "WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH". She is one of the ugliest bitches I have ever seen and I'm still not really sure why she's famous. I'd like to see her in a cage match against Verne Troyer. Seeing as how fat she got recently she might just sit on him and end it.

The 2nd season of "Jersey Shore" premiered last night and if you didn't watch it I highly suggest you do because it features all of the things we loved about the 1st season - idiots, drinking, fighting and supplying us with even more reasons to hate New Jersey.

*Click to enlarge*

Check out a video of here being arrested here and a video of her face-planting after trying to get on a bike before she was arrested here.

Source

17-Year Old "The Situation" in a Turtleneck

Everyone loves looking at old pictures and this one from when Jersey Shore's "The Situation" was 17-years old is priceless. MTV released this picture of him and his siblings all rocking turtlenecks. I'm not really sure turtlenecks were ever in style and what parents dress their teenage+ aged kids in matching clothes?? Their mom must not have been able to hit up the gym or tanning salon because she was busy washing turtlenecks all day. I'm pretty sure his brother on the right is wearing a bra.

The Motherfucking Situation

The Situation, aka THE GREATEST FUCKING MAN ALIVE, is apparently now releasing a rap album. Thank god. I've been a fan of the Situation since day one. Some people try to tell me Vinny's the best member of Jersey Shore. My response? Fuck you. The Situation clearly is the most badass person on the face of this Earth and now he plans on proving it. By releasing an album. Like a god damn badass. You can guarantee I will be buying (or illegally downloading) this album the second I can.

I'm most thankful for these little cameos of Jersey Shore participants because it keeps me satisfied in between seasons. The past couple months without being able to watch those little angels have really been tough.