Girl Shits Herself at Club

If you need to, re-read the title. I understand, it's a bit vulgar/disgusting/vile/awesome/hilarious. Before you immediately leave let's give the background of the story. As an avid Twitter-supporter, I'm constantly checking and following people. Fuck Facebook, Twitter rocks. So my good friend Jimmy (@RollinJimmys) re-tweeted this after an ECU football player decided to post it. Apparently some drunk whore took too many Malibu shots and passed out at the party. Only it doesn't end there, she then results in shitting her self. For those of you with vaginas as stomachs the picture is censored but if you click on it then, well, yeah.


It's a bit disgusting but incredibly hilarious. A) because the girl shits herself and b) because this guy decides to immediately take a picture and tweet it. This is why girls suck so much. You try and take them out for a nice night out on the town, and they get drunk and shit themselves.

Dancing with the Stars' Karina Smirnoff Playboy Pictures NSFW

Karina Smirnoff, a professional dancer on Dancing with the Stars, recently did a Playboy shoot and it's awesome. Everyone on Dancing with the Stars has a ridiculous body and most of them are hot but Karina is from Ukraine which means she's crazy in the sack. I have nothing to back that up but it's probably true and it sounds good so I'm going with it.

Hugh Hefner called the shoot "unforgettable" and it's rare when an 85 year old man is right but that's the case here. Karina Smirnoff is awesome, so awesome in fact that I wikied her. After a quick read of her wiki page I learned that she dated Mario Lopez after she was his Dancing with the Stars partner. Pretty strong. I then learned that she dated fellow Dancing with the Stars dancer Maksim Chmerkovskiy and they got engaged but broke it off. Strong on both counts (Maksim is a good looking dude #nohomo but no one likes a married hot chick). I then learned that she got engaged to MLB pitcher Brad Penny on October 4, 2010. When I read that sentence my respect/interest/love for her went out the window (sort of like that Boston guy...too soon?). I also thought I would never type "MLB pitcher" and "Brad Penny" in the same sentence again. She must not have looked at his career stats because if Megan Fox was playing professional softball and put up stats like that I wouldn't speak to her ever again. Good thing there's no such thing as professional softball!!!

I still want to see those naked pics though. The thumbnails are edited but if you click the pictures they are very NSFW. You're welcome.

Photos: Egotastic

Courteney Cox on Letterman Talking About Nip Slip Pictures

Courteney Cox was in St. Barts two weeks ago with her new boy-toy, Josh Hopkins. I have no idea who he is so hang on one second while I check Wikipedia...

...Okay, let's see. He's 40, is apparently an actor, was in Alanis Morissette's music video for her 1998 song "Unsent" and is currently on "Cougar Town". Let me take a look into this "Cougar Town" show. It just so happens Courteney Cox is on that show too. So that's how they must have met! Here is where you say, "Thank you Mr. Holmes". You're welcome.

Well anyway, the two of them were in St. Barts and she was just flaunting it, looking awesome at 46 (almost 47) in a bikini. After a million bikini pictures surfaced we finally got some of a nip slip. She was on the Late Show with David Letterman last night and when he brought up the pictures she wasn't shy about talking about the nip slip.

Find me a cooler MILF. There's no one 46+ years old cooler or hotter than Courteney Cox. She knows how hot she is and is just willing to give it to the paparazzi. Plus a little extra. Gotta respect that.

Photos: WWTDD

Brooklyn Decker Is In a Bikini In Miami

Everyone and their Chatroulette friends heard that Brooklyn Decker is in Miami this week and has been living the dream in a bikini by the pool. Yeah I get it, you have a ridiculous rack. Yeah I get it, you are married to a 28-year-old tennis star who is already balding. Now let's just get on to showing everyone those tatties.

Selena Gomez Performed at the Concert for Hope

Selena Gomez performed at Concert for Hope on Sunday night to raise money for cancer research. After seeing these pictures I'm hoping even more for that hacker group to release her naked pictures. I know what you look like wearing dresses. And yeah, it's cool that you've been showing more skin lately but just leak those pictures already. We all know that's the next step in this process. You're 18, not 12. She sort of looks like a chipmunk but if the Biebs can get past that so can I.

Earlier this month Selena confirmed that her and her band, Selena Gomez & the Scene, are going to release their third album on June 28th. On March 8th the lead single "Who Says" had its world premiere and the video was released on March 11th. Her performance of "Who Says" at the Concert for Hope plus the music video is below. She's actually not bad singing live but the best part about this song is that it isn't Rebecca Black's Friday. Speaking of which, Selena Gomez and Rebecca Black look sorta similar. Only 5 more years until Rebecca Black is legal!

Kim Kardashian Is Insecure on Cover of Self Magazine

If we needed another example as to why girls are awesome this is it. Kim Kardashian is on the cover of Self magazine's April issue and started yapping about how she feels fat and ugly.

"Of course I struggle with insecure moments. I wish I didn't, but I love to eat, especially black dick sweets. And I’ll say it. I think my thighs are jiggly and I have cellulite. Now let’s move on!"

In honor of March Madness (and Kim's boyfriend Kris Humphries - wait, that's not Kris Humphries, this is. Side note - is it at all weird that he has the same name as Kim's mom and they spell it the same wack-job way?) this one is a layup, slam dunk and 3 pointer all-in-one. It serves as a reminder that even the hottest girls are insecure. And insecure girls are easier. William Hung could bang Kim while she is insecure. So the next time you are at the bar and see a dime, don't think you have no shot. Instead, start calling her fat and take it to the bank. Insecurity - making untouchables, touchable.

Whitney Houston's Daughter Drinking and Making Out With a Girl

Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown's daughter, Bobbi, was seen recently at a party drinking Four Lokos and smoking cigarettes. That would be fine except for the fact that she's 17. Oh yeah, there's also a picture of her making out with another girl. That's actually fine, even encouraged here at Ugg Boots For Men. Ah hell, who am I kidding, celebrity kids drinking and smoking at 17 is fine too, especially if you're the child of Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown. Bobbi experienced more drugs in the womb than Lindsay Lohan and Robert Downey Jr. have in their entire lives combined. The girl was probably born with a buzz-lightyear. I can only hope she takes the same career path to "get famous" as Montana Fishburne.

I can't tell if either of these girls are hot from this picture but I'll just assume they are because if they are ugly it ruins it. Also, what the hell is it with the recent Four Loko craze? How did people not know about it before? Now that Four Loko is being banned, I am here to introduce you to a new way to get drunk in a crazy way. WHIPPED LIGHTNING. Whipped cream with alcohol. Enough said. Fatties and whip-it addicts rejoice.

How the Jonas Brothers Like Their BJ's

BAHAHAHAHA. God I hate the Jonas brothers so much. Of course Kevin would want it kissed, he's the gayest of them all. How the hell did he get married? He's so ugly. If this were an episode of The Magic School Bus and the bus drove into my crotchular region, Kevin would be the animated version of one of my pubes. It's also plausible he is the love-child of Ms. Frizzle and Wolverine.

17-Year Old "The Situation" in a Turtleneck

Everyone loves looking at old pictures and this one from when Jersey Shore's "The Situation" was 17-years old is priceless. MTV released this picture of him and his siblings all rocking turtlenecks. I'm not really sure turtlenecks were ever in style and what parents dress their teenage+ aged kids in matching clothes?? Their mom must not have been able to hit up the gym or tanning salon because she was busy washing turtlenecks all day. I'm pretty sure his brother on the right is wearing a bra.

Halle Berry is a MILF in a Bikini

43-year-old (almost 44) Halle Berry looks better in a bikini than most 30-year-olds. Throw in the fact that she's got a kid and you have a total MILF. She spent some time at the beach in Southern California this week and looked better than ever. I mean who doesn't love Halle Berry - she is smoking hot and filthy rich (a perfect candidate to help me fulfill my lifelong goal of marrying a suga mama and being a stay-at-home dad). Her and Elin Nordegren. I wonder if they would be interested in Mormonism...

*Click the pics to enlarge them*

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