Ingram Still "Doubtful" For Penn State Game This Weekend

Great news for any fans of the Nittany Lions or creepy old dudes (gross) came out today when Alabama team officials said Heisman winner Mark Ingram is likely out for the big game this weekend against Penn State. Ingram had surgery on his left knee two weeks ago and only started running this weekend. Ingram sat out of Alabama's opener against San Diego State (shocking I know, you would have thought they would really need him for that game) and back up Trent Richardson had 10 carries for 66 yards and 2 touchdowns. He only played the first half.

Fuck School, but College Football Rocks

School sucks but lets be honest, we can all find positives about heading back to the old books. A) Dumb freshman chicks wanting to get ruffie- I mean have fun; B) excuses to drink all the time; C) College Mother Fucking Football.

Now we all know Old Dominion has the greatest football team in the world, but Alabama might not be too far behind. Unfortunately for them, they will be without their Heisman winning running back Mark Ingram. Ingram underwent arthroscopic surgery on his left knee Tuesday Morning. Ingram had the injury late in practice Monday and underwent the surgery shortly after. Coach Saban called it a "situation where everyone thought it would be better to take care of now, so he would not have any issues with it later in the season."


Alabama is only ruling Ingram out for the first game right now, but it is very unlikely he'll be ready for the Tide's second game against Penn State. Lucky for Alabama fans, they got a guy named Trent Richardson who won't do too bad of a job filling in for Ingram. Richardson rushed for 751 yards and scored eight touchdowns as Ingram's back-up. Not too shabby.

Alabama Tops Preseason Poll

Can Alabama roll tide roll to another national championship? The coaches poll certainly thinks so. The Crimson Tide was overwhelmingly voted number 1 in the preseason polls, getting 55 out of 59 first place votes. The Most Overrated University (The Ohio State University) received the other 4 votes. OSU comes in 2nd, Florida 3rd, and Texas (who lost to Bama in last year's championship game) is in 4th. Boise State rounds out the top 5. Virginia Tech, TCU, Oklahoma, Nebraska, and Iowa finish out the top 10.


For the rest of the list check the ESPN story here.

Antoine Dodson Stops His Sister From Being Raped

4 years ago we were blessed with this hilarious video about a crackhead leprechaun from Mobile. Today we present you with another gem straight out of Alabama. A true diamond in the rough. If there ever was a way to make attempted rape funny, this is it. The name "Antoine Dodson" will soon become an overnight internet sensation after he helped stop his sister from being raped. Apparently his sister woke up to a strange man next to her in bed and started screaming. Antoine rushed into the room and helped her. He described the situation by saying...

“He’s climbing in your window, he's snatching your people up, trying to rape em, so y'all need to hide your kids, hide your wife and hide your husband because they’re raping everybody out here...We got your t-shirt. You left fingerprints and all. You are so dumb. You are really dumb. For real...You don't have to come and confess that you did this. We're looking for you. We, we 'gon find you. So you can run and tell that, homeboy!”

His grasp of the English language would make Mark Twain jealous. Antoine was overheard saying how jealous he was that the man tried to rape his sister instead of him. No crime has gone unsolved in Alabama the past few days because Antoine is on every case. He just puts on a new bandanna and starts solving shit.

Tim Tebow is the New Jockey Spokesman

Tim Tebow has just become the new spokesperson for Jockey. Not, that isn't a joke. The abortion hating, super Christian, mama's boy will be the spokesman for an underwear (and socks, etc.) company. He was quoted as saying, "They make a quality product with a great fit." Jockey also released a press statement about a new line of underwear that double as a chastity belt. Pretty much everyone outside of Gainesville, Florida hates Tim Tebow and I have come across some incredible puns and jokes in regards to this news story. Some of my favorites:


"I assumed he'd be a Fruit of the Womb guy."

"In an attempt to parallel his NFL career, the type of underwear he will be sponsoring will be the brief."

"Holy shit! No, those are just Tim's skid-marks."

-"Now as you can see Tim, we here at Jockey are very serious about the quality of our product. For instance, look here at this waistband--"
-"Wristband? I'm in."

"So pick up a couple of Jockey's new form-fitting Ts, because remember: the sleek shall inherit the Earth."


As mentioned in the podcast a few weeks ago, Tebow is on the cover of NCAA 2011 and some Alabama-area Gamestop stores have inserted their own custom covers on copies of the game. It features Tim Tebow crying after losing to Alabama in the SEC championship game and another picture of him crying over his own shoulder. Pure brilliance. I could watch this video all day on repeat.