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Every time I look for pictures to use in this post I always happen to stumble upon some recent ones of Heidi Montag at the beach which is fine because she has enormous cans. Last week she was in Costa Rica trying to surf and even with a fake ass that big (yes, she had ass implants) it isn't big enough to offset those funbags when she tries to balance. It is pretty widely known she takes a photographer everywhere to try and generate publicity about herself. I'm going to start doing that. The photographer will pretty much never leave my house but that's beside the point.
As always, be sure to check out Razzball and consider donating to their site.
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So far in this month of September, Troy Tulowitzki has 11 homers and 27 RBIs. This is Hungrybear9562 owning Tulo in a H2H league this month — It’s a DOUBLE HOME RUN! All the way across the sky! OH. MY. GOD. A double home run. Wait, is this a triple home run? No, it’s a double home run. It’s beautiful. *cries* The only thing ever holding Tulo back is health. If Tulo can stay healthy for an entire year… Well, look at his 2009 stats — 32 homers, 20 steals and a .297 average. Next year, he’ll only be 26-years-old and hitters tend not to peak until the age of 27. Yum with a double shot of gimme. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Eric Young Jr. – 2-for-4, still got love for him and am still willing to go to PTA meetings for Eric Young Jr. Jr., but it’s worth noting that he now has three errors in the last two games. Barmes may see more time in the 2nd half of games as a defensive replacement.
Jorge de la Rosa – 7 1/3 IP, 5 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks and his line looked even better before he left two men on for Beimel to let score. He gets the Diamondbacks next and I’d start him there sans hesitation. Or sansitation, for those that enjoy a good portmanteau.
Adrian Gonzalez – 3-for-4, 5 RBIs and 2 homers. Now hit ten more homers before the end of the season and we’ll be cool.
Chris Young – Will start on Saturday vs. the Cards in The Lou. Would like this start better if it was in Petco. Young had a 7.82 ERA in Away games last year and 5.27 in 2008. Both years his home ERA was below 3. Unless you’re desperate, I’d let him pitch from my bench. Remember though, if he’s on your bench, don’t sit anyone short behind him.
Carlos Zambrano – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks. I’m not a huge fan of Big Z, but he hasn’t thrown a bad start since he returned to the rotation on August 9th. Really should be owned in every league.
J.A. Happ – 4 1/3 IP, 5 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks. He obviously wasn’t a sub-3 ERA pitcher. His luck was bound to run out in the landmark case of Sooner vs. Later.
Brandon Lyon – Well, the closer role in Houston got murkier yesterday. Lyon gave up a run and blew the save then Lindstrom came into the 10th and gave up two runs. Houston, we have a shituation.
Rickie Weeks – 2-for-5 with his 27th homer. Weeks has more RBI than Fielder and more homers than Braun. If I’d known that going into the year, I’d have put my life savings on the Brewers not making the playoffs.
Brian Duensing – 6 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 4 Ks. He was in last week’s borderline starters and next week’s is coming this afternoon. How’s dem apples? Delicious!
Kyle Drabek – 6 IP, 3 ER, 12 baserunners, 5 Ks. I would’ve loved to watch him, but my Direct TV cut out during the pregame (which is not pronounced like edamame). So going on the box score, looks like Drabek wasn’t fooling anyone. He’s young, doesn’t change how I feel about him for keepers or next year. To gaze at my Kyle Drabek fantasy, go there.
Brad Bergesen – 9 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks. Even a broken clock is right a few times a season.
Jered Weaver – 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 baserunner, 7 Ks. More incredibly, he actually got run support. A’la Vicki Lawrence as Mama, “Well, I’ll be!”
Russell Branyan – 1-for-3 with his 25th homer. All he does is hit home runs! No, really, that’s all he does.
Homer Bailey – Left the game with dizziness after allowing 3 earned runs and 5 walks. Hey, maybe Oliver Perez is dizzy.
Drew Stubbs – 2-for-3 with his 18th homer. You may want to put away sharp objects when you read this next line. According to ESPN’s Player Rater, Stubbs has been as valuable as Matt Kemp.
Jason Bay – Said he’s feeling great and free of any post-concussion symptoms, but he’s still not coming back this year. Canadians — Bay and Morneau — had a bad year for concussions. What’s it called when a Canadian misses extended time from work? A maple leaf of absence. *sad trombone*
Jenrry Mejia – Left yesterday’s game with a strain in his shoulder. Likely shutdown for the year. No word if the injury happened when he was trying to roll the R’s in his first name.
Wilson Betemit – 2-for-3, 4 RBIs and his 2nd straight game with a homer. Yes, you should pick him up. Yes, now.
Mike Minor – 5 IP, 4 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks. Really was just a victim of an ill-timed grand slam to Maxwell, who is one sexy piece of chocolate… Wait, wrong Maxwell. I’m still going to like Minor next year. I know, up the down staircase, Sandy Dennis, but that’s how rookies do.
Phil Hughes – 6 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks. I’ve been saying this for about a month now. You can do better than Hughes off waivers. Duensing, for instance. He’s been better.
James Shields – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 10 baserunners, 8 Ks vs. the Yankees. I was about to write how no one got sonavabenched because no one owns him but then I looked and saw he’s owned in 93% of leagues. Are you people crazy? He has a 1.41 WHIP and 4.86 ERA after this solid start. Even after this start, I’d drop him.
Dan Johnson – 2-for-3 with 2 homers. The Pride of Coon Rapids! (BTW, there was discussion in Minnesota about changing the name of this city. Some felt it was derogatory. I think it’s too vague. Change it to Coon Rabids.)
Emilio Bonifacio – 2-for-5 as he continued his hot hitting. Own players when they are hot. That’s my mottofacio.
Gaby Sanchez – 2-for-4 with his 18th homer. Not doing a whole lot, but now has two homers in the week, i.e., two more than Prince Fielder.
Brad Lidge – 1/3 IP, 1 ER. Kazaam, as he generated a save for Jose Contreras. Manuel changes his underwear more than he changes closers and that’s not a whole lot.
Raul Ibanez – 3-for-5, 2 Runs and 2 RBIs. Hitting well over his last ten games and worth riding while hot.
Gavin Floyd – 5 1/3 IP, 6 ER, 11 baserunners, 4 Ks. After the game, he tweeted, “I pitched. #sucky”
Chris Sale – 2/3 IP, 1 ER. Of course down 6 runs Ozzie pitches the guy who he just said was his closer. Of course he does! Why wouldn’t he? I will now don a potato sack and walk into traffic.
Jaime Garcia – Early yesterday, the Cards announced that Garcia would be shutdown for the year. Later in the day, the Cards announced he would be skipped one turn and be reevaluated. Much later in the day, I wrote this. Today, you’re reading it. Tomorrow is Friday. Yay!
Ryan Franklin – Heading home to deal with some personal issues. I know what it meant when a girl in high school would go home with ‘personal issues,’ so I’m guessing Franklin has cramps and/or is pregnant.
