Saturday, July 31, 2010

Snooki Sent To Drunk Tank

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, of MTV's faux-reality show Jersey Shore, was arrested yesterday in Seaside Heights on a disorderly-conduct charge. Reports say she was booked for being drunk in public. This was reality, but it could have been the show. Check that: It was the show. It was real, that is, but the cameras were rolling, and it'll all get kneaded into America's leading intellectual examination of Atlantic Coast culture. Photos show a bouffantless Snooki, in a T-shirt with the fetching message SLUT, getting hauled off by a brace of Jersey gendarmes. Unnamed Source says Snooki "just needs to be in a drunk tank for two hours." Who doesn't, right? Unnamed tells TMZ Snooki was in a bar drinking "body shots" - sipped out of someone's navel.

I would have a lot more respect for Snooks if she was doing body shots off herself. That takes talent. That takes dedication. That takes focus. All of which you don't need to be a reality television star.  But seriously who's the officer that arrested all 4 feet of Snooki? He must feel like a real tough guy. The Jersey Shore is a lot safer now that they got a dangerous criminal like her off the streets. I'd just take my club and whack the bitch into the sand but that's me. I finish things. That's what I do.

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