Seth Meyers Roasts "The Huffington Post" at 2011 White House Correspondents’ Dinner

I'm not even sure what channel C-SPAN is so I'm really glad YouTube exists so I can not spend my Saturday night watching young democrats make environmental jokes at old democrats. Just because it's my job to provide you people with awesome content I watched 2011 White House Correspondents' Dinner where Seth Meyers basically turned it in to a Comedy Central Roast. There was one part I actually laughed out loud over and this was it:

Yeah, fuck "The Huffington Post"! Actually, hang on. Arianna Huffington just sits back day-after-day while other people do the work and make her money. Sounds like my kind of woman!

White House Crowd Sings Star Spangled Banner After News That Osama Bin Laden Has Been Killed

Are the "Osama Bin Laden was just killed" videos ever going to get old? Well yeah, eventually. But until then we will keep posting the shit out of the awesome ones.

The easy joke here would be "a bunch of drunk kids didn't mess up the Star Spangled Banner lyrics" but this video is so awesome that jokes should stay as far away from this as guys without 3 condoms do from Snooki. But seriously, from the ridiculous crowd to everyone singing the Star Spangled Banner to the shots of the White House, this video just made me want to go outside in my jorts and light off roman candles while chugging Jim Beam.

Another Awesome Penn State Osama Bin Laden Riot Video

If more of these videos continue to show up online I might not be able to post them here because it just wouldn't be fair to all the other Colleges/Universities in the country. Penn State is too busy being awesome, Navy Seals are sniping Osama Bin Laden, what are you doing? #notwinning

Penn State Riots After News That Osama Bin Laden Has Been Killed

Is there any doubt that Penn State is the best place on the planet? After the news broke tonight that the USA killed Osama Bin Laden, Penn State students flooded downtown on Beaver Ave. and celebrated. The last time I saw a riot this big at Penn State was after we beat Ohio State in football in 2008.

Obama Gives Historic Speech On Capture of Osama Bin Laden

The Barack Obama taking names, killing Osama Bin Laden and United States of America GIF taking you into Monday and the work week:

Osama Bin Laden Killed

You might have heard that Navy Seals killed Osama Bin Laden and the United States has his body. Time to party!

OR

Twitter is absolutely on fire right now with Osama Bin Laden dead/being killed jokes but if you want really want to be happy just go to whatever airport she is at. It's pretty hilarious that the Obama speech interrupted the Celebrity Apprentice. Yahoo! news says:

Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden was killed Sunday in a firefight with U.S. forces in Pakistan and his body was recovered, President Barack Obama announced Sunday.
"Justice has been done," Obama said in a dramatic, late-night White House speech announcing the death of the elusive mastermind of the September 11, 2001, attacks on the New York and Washington.
Obama said U.S. forces led the operation that killed bin Laden. No Americans were killed in the operation and they took care to avoid civilian casualties, he said.
"The United States has conducted an operation that killed Osama bin Laden, the leader of al Qaeda and a terrorist who is responsible for the murder of thousands of men, women and children," Obama said.

Air Traffic Controller Watches Samuel L. Jackson Film

We all know that air traffic controllers have been falling asleep recently but when this new report about one controller who got bored and decided to watch a Samuel L. Jackson movie I couldn't believe the news. Honestly, who decides that watching a Samuel L. Jackson movie is better than taking a nap or watching planes land. The Guardian says:

Airline pilots flying over Ohio en route to New York, Los Angeles and beyond are accustomed to listening to the background chatter of air traffic controllers ensuring their safety as they cross the American heartlands. But in the early hours of Sunday morning they were surprised to hear dialogue of a different kind: the actors Samuel L Jackson and Ed Harris berating each other in the movie Cleaner.

For more than three minutes, pilots in the Ohio region flying at more than 17,000 feet were only able to hear the soundtrack of the thriller. Unable to communicate with the regional radar centre controlling their flight, they had to listen in to Jackson playing a former police officer working as a crime-scene cleaner.

On the ground, the air traffic controller on duty on the night shift at Oberlin, Ohio, had decided to take a break from the stresses of the job and catch a movie. Inadvertently, whoever it was had set the controller's microphone to transmit, blocking incoming calls and broadcasting the film instead. The mistake was only rectified when an airforce pilot managed to get through to the controller on the dedicated military channel.

Once I verified that no one got hurt because of this I can say that this story is hilarious. I actually did no research for that. The real problem here is that he decided to watch a Samuel L. Jackson movie and we should focus more on that part.

Man Falls 5 Stories Through Skylight During Boston Marathon

"Police are trying to figure out exactly how this could have happened"?!? Is the police department composed of a ton of Bud Seligs' who hear what likely happened but just choose to pass over it? Let's deal with the facts: he was visiting his friends who were watching the Boston Marathon, neighbors said they were drinking. Damn it, the neighbors beat me to it! College students going on a roof and having a reason to get hammered at 10am...was this unexpected? If I got paid a penny every time I went blacked-out on a roof I would be a millionaire. I'm not sure how this happened and yes, it is terrible, but stop being retahded drinking on the umpteenth level of an apartment at noon-ish. Also, is it "amazing" that he survived this fall? We all know that alcohol gives people super human abilities.

Latest MLB Trade Deadline News

Alessandra Ambrosio

With the MLB trade deadline just about 20 minutes away here are some last minute stories to keep an eye on:

Rangers trade Jarrod Saltalamacchia to Red Sox for Roman Mendez, Chris McGuinness, a player to be named later and cash (Dan Roche)

Royals extended manager Ned Yost through 2012 (Bob Dutton)

Yankees designated Chan Ho Park for assignment to make room for Kerry Wood (Bryan Hoch)

Red Sox traded Ramon Ramirez to Giants (Rob Bradford)

Royals trade Rick Ankiel and Kyle Farnsworth to Braves (Ed Price)

Orioles traded Will Ohman to Marlins (Dan Connolly)

Tigers traded Wilkin Ramirez to Braves for player to be named later or cash

Pirates trade Octavio Dotel to Dodgers for James McDonald and Andrew Lambo (Ken Rosenthal)

Pirates trade Javier Lopez to Giants for Joe Martinez (Andrew Baggarly)

Indians trade Kerry Wood to Yankees for a player to be named later or cash (Jayson Stark)

Red Sox designated Jeremy Hermida for assignment (Heidi Watney)

Adam Dunn to the White Sox for Edwin Jackson and others is "far from over." (Ken Rosenthal)

Dodgers, Rays and Marlins in the mix for Brandon League (Jayson Stark)

Cubs traded Ted Lilly and Ryan Theriot to Dodgers for Blake DeWitt, Brett Walch and Kyle Smit (Jayson Stark)

Diamondbacks trade Chris Snyder, Pedro Ciriaco and $3 million to Pirates for D.J. Carrasco, Bobby Crosby and Ryan Church (Ken Rosenthal)

Cardinals, Padres, and Indians completed a complicated three-team deal - Jake Westbrook and Padres prospect Nick Greenwood go to the Cardinals, the Padres get Ryan Ludwick, and the Indians get prospect Corey Kluber (MLBTR)

Taylor Swift Really Does Wish She Lived in the '40s

Tay Tay was at Atlantis in the Bahamas this weekend and went to the beach wearing this hideous "bikini". Would we even call this a bikini? Even though it is less than flattering I'm glad she decided to rock this attire because I don't want her acting slutty like all of the other celebrity skanks. One (of the many) reasons I love TSwift is because she's a good-girl and wearing shit like this either confirms that or means she's a little weird...and I sorta like that too. Click the images to enlarge.

P.S. who's the smokeshow in the purple?

Steve Smith Breaks Arm - Can Still Play Better Than 75% of WR

Steve Smith - the one on the Panthers - broke his left arm while playing flag football at his youth camp. Who knew 10-year olds could be so dangerous. He had surgery last night but will not be ready for the start of training camp. He missed the last game last year with a broken left arm so this is nothing new for him. If he can't make it back in time for the start of the season it will be a huge blow - their other WRs are Dwayne Jarrett, Dante Rosario and Jeff King. Hey, that's almost as good as the Foreskins! Have fun throwing to them Jimmy Clausen (or Matt Moore until you lose your job). I'd like to make a suggestion to Steve to avoid these types of injuries in the future - drink milk, lots of milk.

Source

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

We haven't been posting too much the past week or two and we apologize. We know you can't go a day without the latest sports and celeb news but we have been out of town. I wish we could say we were in Vegas getting Patrick Schwasted but I was in terrible Jersey and I don't know where Blog Dylan has been.

There are big things on the way this week so be sure to keep checking for new shit. There will be 5-10 posts tonight to catch you up on all your sports and gay entertainment news so watch out for those. We are also pleased to announce the start of a weekly podcast every Sunday night. It will cover sports, technology, celeb bullshit and movies/tv. We just finished the first one and will post it shortly. We are hashing out the exact format so it will probably change and become more refined in the next few weeks but it's basically just us ranting and raving about things that have been happening. We promise it'll be entertaining.

P.S. who the f**k bought the UggBootsForMen.com domain name?!? Not cool. We were way too poor to shell out $10 to buy the domain name a month ago but when we checked today it was purchased. What the hell - help a brother out...give us back the domain name and we'll send you shirtless pics of Justin Bieber.

Ricky Martin is Gay...Shocker

So, Ricky Martin has finally come out of the closet. In other news, Gabourey Sidibe ate a cheeseburger today. Did anyone expect Ricky to be straight? If you did you clearly liked his music a little too much and were ignoring all the tell tale signs. Ricky tried to cover up his rainbow colors by saying "I guess these rumours were started by people who don't have a life, or perhaps it's because they want me to be like them and I'm not. I try not to pay attention to any of these allegations. I could have been married with kids for years or have 27 girlfriends, and if people still want to go around saying that I'm gay, they will." He threw people off when he had twins in 2008, even if it was with a surrogate. I once had a high school teacher who claimed to have a wife, children and ordinary family until the seniors had some free time and outed him as the "Mr. Maryland Leather Man" contest winner. Yes, that was the end of his career as a teacher.

When Ricky Martin sang "Livin' la Vida Loca" in 1999 he was an instant pop sensation. After that he was terrible. I don't know why he had to hide his true colors all these years, it's not like he had a career to maintain. He claims he feels more open and free now that he admitted he is gay but I'm still not sure why he tried to hide it at all. How weird will that be for his kids, 'Hey dad, where is mommy', 'actually, I just used a surrogate to hide the fact that I am gay from millions of people and I don't really care about her', 'so I have a mom and two dads?'. Despite the fact that he is gay you still have to admit "Livin' la Vida Loca" was extremely catchy and a great video.