The Development of the Man Crush

Recently, a fellow blogger posted about his crush on Taylor Swift. As a fellow straight guy, I fully agree. She is smoking hot. However, it is very important to also admit your man crush. What is a man crush you ask? It is a totally straight crush on a badass dude out there. When I first bring this up, most guys probably think of a few obvious choices. Yes we know, you love Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer. However, there are clear limitations on who you can have a man crush on. Here at uggbootsformen, we plan on informing you of who is an acceptable, and unacceptable man crush. I’m going to rate the man crushes on a scale of known gay men. The best ranking will represent and cool gay guy, and the worst will be a total queer. It will range from Neil Patrick Harris to Clay Aiken.

There are certain type of man crushes. The first I bring to you is the artsy, weird, and know he gets a lot of pussy man crush. The absolute dream example of this is Johnny Depp. Everybody. Fucking. Loves. Johnny Depp. This guy is able to act in any type of role, rock the sweetest tattoos, and get the best pussy. He’s got a total mysterious vibe about him that everyone loves but can’t really figure out why. A good friend of mine put in once: “If my girlfriend cheated on me with Johnny Depp I’d only break up with her because she didn’t call me to join in.” Rating: The best for Johnny, he gets a Neil Patrick Harris.

There’s also the straight up sexy man crush. Everybody knows Usher is sexy. He is a fully accepted man crush throughout the land. He is the kind of guy that you can openly admit is hot and not feel at all gay about. Another key feature of Usher’s persona is simply, you know he can fuck. No person on this world cannot look me in the eye and tell me they don’t think Usher can fuck. Any man that can sing like that knows how to fuck. Rating: Ian McKellen (yes, Magneto is gay, get over it)

A very controversial choice in my range of man crushes is: Justin Timberlake. Let me first point out my love for Justin Timberlake. I think he is great and would love to hang out with him. But I can understand why many people would not. First off, the dude was in NSYNC. It’s hard to make a gayer boy band (O-Town, not included) so any member is immediately labeled to be a little homo. But in my eyes, JT redeemed himself in Alpha Dog. If you haven’t seen it, see it. He is the coolest character ever. With his recent music with 50 Cent and TI, JT has become a favorite of my man crushes. Rating: Elton John.

In another category of man crushes comes this always famous sport man crushes. There is very little controversy with the number 1 pick (although Tiger might be on the way up if he keeps banging that many chicks) and it goes to LeBron James. No man should be that athletic and that good at anything. He is a true freak and NOBODY can say they don’t wanna be Bron Bron. Rating: The second Neil Patrick Harris goes to the King.

It is important for you to also learn who unacceptable man crushes are. As already said, Clay Aiken is a big ol’ no go. You can’t have a man crush on a male porn star. No matter how many chicks they have banged, it’s worldly accepted to be really weird if you have a man crush on one of them. You can’t have a man crush on anyone who has performed in a really, really gay role in a movie. Example, regardless of his performance in Philadelphia, Tom Hanks is an acceptable man crush. On the other hand, no matter how good he was as the Joker, Heath Ledger is an unacceptable choice because of his character in Brokeback Mountain.

And please, our many followers don’t be scared to leave a comment on a questionable man crush you may have. Fear not, we’ll set you straight.