Man In G-String Attacks Woman.

HOOKSETT, N.H. -- Police said a man wearing only G-string underwear and a mask attacked a woman outside her home, WMUR-TV in Manchester, N.H., reported. Police said the man attacked the woman outside at about 2 a.m. but she was able to get away unharmed.Police K-9 units were called to the scene but were not able to find the man.

My first thoughts were it sounds like something Dan Donahue would do. But then I realized it's more something he would be a victim of. He's got some fucked up friends. But I digress. Pretty short story but it packs a fucking punch. Like it just seems all too weird. Too many loose ends in it. She got attacked but was able to get away unharmed? So was she attacked at all? She must've known the creature who did it, too. Guys in G-strings don't just attack random females. You learn that freshman year of college. I tried to come up with a logical theory but I think baby girl is bullshitting us. She did something to this guy. Probably lured him into the candy store, let him fill his bag with treats then slapped his hands away and sent him to his room if you catch my drift. Paddled down the river then tipped the canoe. No? 3rd base coach gave him the green light but was called out before he even crossed the plate? That type of shit will drive any guy to throw on a G-string and slap the taste out of your mouth.