Sunday, March 28, 2010

Tiger Kept Porn on His iPhone. Oh, He Also Cheated On His Wife. A Lot.


March 28, 2010, (Sawf News) - Tiger Woods may have drawn inspiration for the lewd texts he sent to his mistresses from the content that he carried around on his iPhone - porn! A source tells TMZ, that Tiger kept his iPhone storage brimming with stimulating content, which in his case was porn and cartoons! Here is another way of looking at it, Tiger not only carried contact numbers of women of his taste, but also a ready reckoner of what he liked to do with them.

Yikes. That's really the only thing that came to mind after reading that. Yikes. Maybe sex addiction is real? I don't know. What I do know is this makes Tiger human. MJ has a gambling issue, A-rod used steroids and Tiger is addicted to vagina. Tom Terrific is still untouchable. But this really creeps me out. Like a week ago Tiger was straddling the fence of scum bag and wingman of the year but this puts him into the total slime ball category. You can't carry porn around like that. I knew a kid in high school who put that shit on his iPod and he thought he was the bees knees. The total cats pajamas. He'd come up to me during study hall and say, "yo rza, you wanna see some titties?" and I'd be like "Nah bro. I saw a pair of real ones this weekend. Tell your mother I got home safe." You know where he is now? Nobody knows. Probably out sniffing some 13 year old, trying to get his pitch back. That's what happens to those guys. Having said that, I don't think I've ever been as excited as I am for the Masters.

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