Drunk Dude Tries To Resuscitate Dead Possum.

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. -- Police say they charged a Pennsylvania man with public drunkenness after he was seen trying to resuscitate a long-dead opossum along a highway. State police Trooper Jamie Levier says several witnesses saw 55-year-old Donald Wolfe, of Brookville, near the animal Thursday along Route 36 in Oliver Township, about 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh. The trooper says one person saw Wolfe kneeling before the animal and gesturing as though he were conducting a seance. He says another saw Wolfe attempting to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Only in Punxsutawney! Honestly the type of shit that goes down there on a Tuesday will blow your mind. It makes St. Patty's Day at the Braults look like child's play. Is it just me or is Pennsylvania one of those states that is kind of a mystery? Yeah, they got Philly, Scranton and Shittsburgh but what else is there? Probably a lot of towns that look like the one in House of Wax. It's just a big fucking state with not a lot to do except get drunk and make out with dead possum's. Or as Donahue calls it, his prom date. Eassyyyyyyyy now.