Kids, Man. Kids.

MORGANTOWN, W.Va. -- A survey shows that kids at the West Virginia school featured in "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution" liked their standard pizza and chicken nuggets more than the celebrity chef's fresh, healthy menu items. And when denied the food they were used to, many stopped buying the school lunch. The survey at Central City Elementary in Huntington also found children drank less milk after Oliver removed the sugary chocolate and strawberry bottles. But there is a bright spot in the data from the West Virginia University Health Research Center: More than six in 10 kids said they'd learned to try new foods.

This is called standing up to the fucking man. Normally you would think in West Virginia that these young kids would revolt in a way of violence. Maybe throwing their new chicken nuggets at the janitors or urinating on the mixing spoon then throwing it into the mac and cheese. Who knows what starving, angry children are capable of. I know when I'm hungry it's a good idea not to come near me. I'm like a ticking time bomb. You phrase something the wrong way or use a tone I don't appreciate and it's lights out for you. Now think about when I'm drunk and craving a pizza. Say goodnight and whisper a prayer. ANYWAY. Instead they flip the world on it's axis and give the school a little boycott action. The spirit of Gandhi is alive and well in Morgantown, W.Va. Only thing that would have been better would be to get their Boston Tea Party on and jump behind the counters and start doing lewd acts to the healthy pizza. And don't try to tell me that shit didn't go down at the Boston Tea Party. That's where the term "tea bagging" came from, right? No? Well it should have.