Jonathan Rhys Meyers, you may know him as King Henry VIII on "The Tudors", plays a youngster working for the US Ambassador in Paris named James Reece. Reece gets assigned to work with Charlie Wax (John Travolta), a top agent whose methods are the only thing more outrageous than his assumptions. Although a loose cannon at times, Wax basically discovers that Reece's newly announced fiance is actually a french terrorist and I'm pissed off I didn't see it coming. The bitch proposes to the guy in like the second scene, what the shit kind of woman proposes to a man and if you're thinking about the movie "Leap Year" right now then you have either not seen it or fully understand that Amy Adams was the bad guy in that movie as well. The best part is, Reece confronts his fiance at the end while she has a bomb strapped to her chest. He eventually shoots her in the head (finally ending the movie) but not until he is done crying to her about betrayal and how he still loves her... seriously? I would rather be subject to the pilot episode of Teletubbies than have to watch this again..... SOBER, which is why I have taken the liberty to come up with some sweet drinking rules to help wash this one down:
Drink...
... every time Reece speaks a different language than English
... every time Wax (Travolta) says any variation of the work 'Fuck' (i.e. Mother-fuckers)
... every time Reece says the name of his fiance, Caroline (he pronounces it Caro-leen and its enough to drive you to drink regardless)
... every time you see Reece's cell phone or the ring Caroline proposed to him with
... once you finally realize the movie is not about cocaine
And if you wanna pass out before the movie is over...
... CHUG every time Wax kills someone or some group of assassins
No comments:
Post a Comment