Super Bowl Warming

The NFL recently voted to play the 2014 Super Bowl in New York. Our good friend Joey decided to write a little something about it and e-mail it to us. Here are his thoughts on the matter:

So on Super Bowl Sunday in 2014 New York City becomes the center of the media world… oh, wait… it already is? Shit. That’s no way to start my first article on this blog. Allow me to try again.


Dan Patrick loves it; Mike Golic hates it (probably because it doesn’t come deep fried). It is a cold weather Super Bowl. I personally don’t give two baht about it because IT really doesn’t matter and I’ll tell you why. Al Gore. Some say he is a conspiracy theorist that is hell bent on spreading a global panic about a few melanomas. Some say he is the greatest environmentalist since captain planet. I think he’s still pissed about getting f%#ed out of a presidency.

Maybe, just maybe though, Al Gore is the savior of the traditional warm weather Super Bowl. By any chance could he perhaps, possibly be on to something? He claims the o-zone has more holes than a set of fishnets on Jenna Jamison. He claims microwaves and radiation and something called chlorofluorocarbons tear through this o-zone layer thing like Ralphie goes through gift wrap on Christmas morning as he looks for his Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle. Well, good. Thanks Al Gore.

Forget the ice caps, water levels, and shore erosion. College students and their hot pockets have formed together to keep a capacity crowd warm at New Meadowlands Stadium. Some radio, print and television personalities have been heard grumbling that they won’t be able to sample the local fare on the beaches of Miami, Tampa or San Diego. That will no longer be the problem because Ellis Island will be filled with a plethora of bronze bodies, bikinis and the occasional old man in a Speedo (don’t forget, writers are in the entertainment business). I may even start a petition to give the statue of liberty a little more…what’s the word? Ah, yes, Liberty. That robe/toga has been played out since the forties. Maybe make her a little apparel a little more britneyesque.

So keep watching football, keep eating hot pockets and throw in the occasional hungry man, if you can handle it. Golic can.