Man Burns Down Topless Coffee Shop

AUGUSTA, Maine -- A state investigation says a man suspected of burning down a Maine coffee shop that featured topless waitresses was mad at his girlfriend, who was having an affair with the owner. The state fire marshal's office released an affidavit Friday alleging 48-year-old Raymond Bellavance Jr. used gasoline to start the fire in June 2009 because the woman, a waitress, was in a sexual relationship with Donald Crabtree, owner of the Grand View Topless Coffee Shop. The affidavit says before the fire, Bellavance made statements that he was going to burn the shop. He confronted his girlfriend two hours beforehand.

Wait, wait, wait. A topless coffee shop? Uhhmm can you say awesome? Honestly. I hope I'm not the only one who sits around all day and tries to conjure up revolutionary ideas that'll totally blow people's dicks off but now I don't really know if there's much of a point. I feel like a waitress at a topless coffee restaurant is a little ahead of a stripper and 15 steps ahead of a prostitute. They're not dancing. Just filling up your cup with a side of nipple. Gives a whole new meaning to when they ask if you want cream in that coffee.Yes, I'm fully aware this post has nothing to do about the brave man who burned down the place because his chick was banging the manager.