This Story Broke My Fever And Got Me Back On The Court

Amber Portwood has probably had better post-holiday weeks. A brand-new mugshot reveals the Teen Mom Placed on a 24-hour hold with $5000 bail, Portwood was formally charged with four counts (three felony, one misdemeanor) related to several alleged physical attacks against Gary Shirley, her ex-fiance and father to her 2-year-old daughter Leah.

Fuck yeah. If any bitch deserves to get the shit beat out of her, it's Amber from Teen Mom. She would have been better off getting kicked down the stairs when she was pregnant than she is was right now.  She's just a giant C-word. I'd never touch a female but she might be the only exception. Like I'd totally clean her clock out. Go all Manny Pacquiao on her and knock her the fuck out then walk away smiling. And if I'm Gary, I'm doing one thing and one thing only. Strap the baby in the car seat, start up the 1998 dodge van and put on Springsteen's "Born to Run." I wanna know if love is wild babe, I wanna know if love is real.