Iran Means Business

BEIRUT -- A senior Iranian cleric says women who wear revealing clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes. Iran is one of the world's most earthquake-prone countries, and the cleric's unusual explanation for why the earth shakes follows a prediction by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad that a quake is certain to hit Tehran and that many of its 12 million inhabitants should relocate. "Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes," Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media. Women in the Islamic Republic are required by law to cover from head to toe, but many, especially the young, ignore some of the more strict codes and wear tight coats and scarves pulled back that show much of the hair.

If there's one thing that I've learned in my 20 years it's when a senior Iranian cleric speaks, you listen. After all, they are home to the guy who said the holocaust was a myth and that Iran doesn't have any homosexuals. It's clear Iran doesn't fuck around. Call it antics or reckless behavior but don't you dare say they don't get results. This is the type of wisdom I'll pass on if God hates me and gives me a daughter. ''Oh you're wearing that skirt? And Johnny Bananas is gonna scoop you up in his moms car? Well don't be surprised when the ground starts shaking and you come home to nothing but rubble and your little brother crying because I'm dead." Remember ladies, every time you act like a whore, a puppy is slaughtered.


P.S. Beirut is in Iran? You mean it's not the beer pong capital of the world in Fiji?