Cristiano Ronaldo Totally Made Out With Kim

Kim Kardashian raised eyebrows across Europe when her name surfaced in connection with super hot soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo. Although he’s not that well known in the United States, he’s the equivalent of Alex Rodriguez and Brad Pitt rolled into one. Kardashian reportedly met the superstar after watching him play in Madrid, Spain during a recent trip to Europe, according to Britain’s The Sun tabloid. “She and Ronaldo were kissing and very affectionate. They looked to be getting on really well, laughing the whole time,” a source told the paper.

If this isn't a call to arms then I don't what is. Listen, you can make out with Paris Hilton all you want but don't go after the Kardashians. That's our bread and butter. I'm sick of this clown making out with all of our girls. And I blame Tom Terrific for this because he went off and knocked up Giselle to start this whole cold war shit we going on. Yeah, she's Brazilian but she has that Portuguese blood. I think it's time we attack with one of our young guns, really stir shit up over there in Spain. Get Justin Bieber on the phone and tell him it's time to fuck or fight. Quick story about Justin Bieber coming up. I was in class the other day and the professor asks who this Justin Bieber character is and the huge black kid with his hat covering his face in the back of the class who hasn't said one word all year raises his head and says, "Bitches love Bieber, yo. He's like a young Michael Corleone." We all just nodded. I shit you not. Nobody spoke for the rest of the class. ANYWAY. Cristiano has to stop this. I know he's pretty but so is Beckham and he did it the right way by marrying one of his own.