Ryan Mallett Better Check His Self Before He Wrecks His Self. There's Gotta Be a Grammar Error In This Title, Right? I Need an Editor. Preferably a Blonde With a Fat Ass Who Can Sing a Song

Mallett thinks his game will jell with Brady's. "Me and Tom are kind of the same. We're not fleet of foot, obviously. We don't run fast. We pick defenses apart and we know what's going to happen before the snap or we react post snap and that's why I think I'm like him a lot." Brady will be 34 this season, but says he wants to play until he's 40. He's signed for the next four years. Still, Mallett said he'll prepare like the plan for him will be to possibly replace Brady one day. "I mean, I think that's any players' plan that's a backup – to take over once the guy in front of him is done, or whatever," Mallett said.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.  You and Tom Brady are kind of the same? Don't even put yourself in the same breath as Tom Brady. I know Tom Brady, I've watched and idolized Tom Brady for 11 years, I've fantasized about going on fishing trips with Tom Brady. Tom Brady could probably be a very good friend of mine. You're no Tom Brady and you never will be. Is it too early to say I fucking hate Ryan Mallett and that I hate him with a passion? I feel like there's certain people who deserve to get the shit kicked out of them just as a dose of reality and Mallet would be #1 on my list with everybody who thinks 9/11 was a government operation as my #2. The bottom line is Mallet will never take a regular season snap for New England. Never. Not in 8 years, not in 20. I'd bet my cats extra large paws that this clown sits #3 on the depth chart for the next 3 years, gets a ton of preseason reps, maybe a couple snaps in a regular season blowout and then a desperate team will come yanking on our long cocks for him in exchange for a couple draft picks. Classic Belichick move. But with God as my witness, if Mallet talks about himself and Tom Terrific in any other fashion than him licking #12's ball sweat, I'll drive to Foxboro and personally water board the shit out of this punk ass drug dealer. It'll make Bin Laden's death look like a fucking picnic.