Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Blogger Keeps Burying Themselves In My Shit House

Blog of the day is the Cornell Basketball Blog? Who's the brainiac behind that decision? Andy Bernard? Tell me I'm short and make fun of my small chest but don't be dishonest and tell the people this Cornell basketball blog gives you things that Ogling Ed Hochuli doesn't. It's like being told we're just friends when you know we've always been more than that. Don't lie to yourself because it makes you feel better cause deep down you know you're a piece of shit. It's cool though because I know what I am. I'm a motherfucking bulletproof tiger. Don't be shocked when some dumb slut at the blogger office comes across Ogling Ed Hochuli, tweets it to the masses, Oprah sees it, makes me her first guest on her new show and before you know it I have my own special on HBO every thursday night like that Bill Maher faggot. I'll be the guy in a tux while eating a Subway sandwich off a stripper's tit, saying "I told ya so, bitch." I'm coming for your ass.

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