Tuesday, May 5, 2009

I Wish I Could Quit You, Brett

Minnesota Vikings head coach Brad Childress and quarterback Brett Favre plan to meet at an undisclosed location later this week to discuss the possibility of the former Packers and Jets quarterback renouncing his retirement from the NFL to play the 2009 season with the Vikings, according to a source with direct knowledge of discussions between the two parties. There is a mutual understanding that sometime soon thereafter Favre will decide whether to sign with the Vikings. The team would expect him to participate fully in offseason minicamps and training camps, which he missed last year with the Jets.

Dear Mr. Favre

Stop. Please stop. Just fucking stop. Don't move another inch man. Just cut the shit. Stay retired, stay in your wrangler jeans, stay on your John Deer and just stay the fuck away from football for a year. All I ask is that you sit the next few plays out. Take some time to cool your engines and come back with a refueled mind and body. You don't wanna go to Minnesota. No one wants to go to Minnesota. I don't even wanna go to Minnesota if they offered me a contract. Too cold, too purple, and the girls don't tickle my fancy. You could be remembered as the 3rd greatest quarterback of all time behind Tom Brady and his baby but you just wanna keep your career going. And for what? Everyone knows the Patriots are going to win the superbowl for the next 5 years. Just because you were rated a 99 in Madden last year doesn't mean that is what you actually are. Take a page out of his book and just call it quits. Unless you have your SI writer buddy Peter King signed on as a post game blow job then I'd suggest you stay at the ranch and save America from another heart break. I don't know why people like you anyway. You're just a selfish asshole as far as I'm concerned. Oh, but you're a gun-slinger, allowed to train in the offseason alone and throw your teammates under the bus. Well I'm gonna say something that should have been said to you years ago. Fuck you, Brett. Fuck you.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox,

You're new Vikings Receivers

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