"Mel Gibson Not 'What Women Want'"

That is the best headline I saw yesterday and I'd like to give ABC News props for it.

Ahhh Mel...your life must be amazing nowadays. It seems a new tape of you acting like a drunken caveman is released everyday. Today the fifth tape of him verbally abusing Oksana was released. In the tape released yesterday he was bitching about Oksana falling asleep before she could give him a Jeff Smoker and threatening to burn her house down. In this tape he is bitching at her about being broke and having to sell his Laker box seats. I wish I had Laker box seats to sell. Mel starts berating Oksana when she shows she is really great at comebacks. She uses such zingers as...

"You're the meanest person I know"
"You're very mean"
"You're very jealous and you're very mean"

Mel then drops every derogatory word for girls known to man and shows her how to really make someone feel bad...

“So don’t call me mean when I’m nice to you. Because I’d like to show you what mean really is. Bitch, cunt, whore, gold digger! All true! You fucking proved it to me! If you’re ever interested in proving otherwise, let me know. If you don’t care, I know you know what you are too.”
“Look at yourself. And look what you’ve done. Look what you’ve fucking done! Look at your son. He’s a fucking mess. You fucking excuse for a mother. You’re a fucking bitch!”

His voice in the tapes sounds like a hybrid between Batman and Darth Vader. That sounds like a bad-ass movie - a Batman/Darth Vader combo character played by Mel Gibson. That's right, Ugg Boots For Men will be helping Mel Gibson make a comeback. We are also officially claiming the rights to that movie...sorry Warner Bros. and George Lucas.