-I guess I missed the part when every cast member owned a BMW. Must be nice.
-We get introduced to the new roomie named Deena. They say they're best friends but Snooki is just meeting her mother. Kinda weird?
-Snooki gives Deena the inside scoop on all the other roommates as if she hasn't seen the first two seasons of Jersey Shore. Unless you tell her Pauly has Aids, she probably knows everything else.
-Ronnie mentions the Miami experience was a bit of a roller coaster. Forgets to mention he had a cocaine addiction.
-Deena can't wait to go "GUY SHOPPING!" She also loves a dude with a faux hawk. Deena is trapped in a gay bar in 2002.
-"Like a monkey has to go to the jungle, I have to go to the Jersey Shore." - Vinny. Kid is fucking gross. He gets this rep as a good guy and all he does is bang his ugly friends and hook up with beat chicks. Kind of a scum bag.
-Sammi and Ronnie arrive first and take the room with 3 beds instead of 2 because what's the big deal? Not like it's awkward to sleep in a room with a couple, right?Especially when they're in twin beds next to each other. Makes sense.
-Pauly bunks with Vinny, ending the tag team relationship with The Situation. End of an era.
-Sammi should kill herself. I'd be all for her being the first reality television suicide.
-Situation wants to know the situation with all the rooms right now. That's a bad situation.
-Deena kinda looks like a frog but Jwoww looks like Alonzo Mourning. I'll take a frog over Zo any day of the week and twice on sunday.
"If Deena was a holiday she would be thanksgiving because she's got a lot to give and she's down for a lot of stuffing."
-Everyone plays the least energetic game of flip cup ever recorded. Situation says you gotta deal with the elements. True story.
-Vinny is in the herpes tub with Deena and Snooki. We find out Vinny banged Snooki's other friend a couple weeks ago. Get tested, bro. Seriously. Get tested.
-"So what's it like being a dental assistant?" - Using that line on every girl I meet.
-Deena calls Sammi the C-word. Oh boy. Shit's about to get serious.
-Ronnie comes thundering down the stairs like Tractor Traylor coming through the lane to yell at new girl. Is it bad I was hoping Ronnie punched her in the face and then everyone just went to bed like it was nothing?
-Snooki says you don't wanna piss Deena off. Really? All 4 feet of her?
-Show ends with the two heavyweights squaring off for round 2. Jwoww/Sammi. They need to fight to the death because I don't think I can keep watching this show if they're both on it.
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