Is Derek Jeter Just Sitting On The Couch Or Something?

If Jeter ever moves then center field might fit? How much weight did he gain over this off season?!? Poor guy probably saw our lineup 1 through 9 and started popping pringles like you read about. No wonder him and Minka aren't engaged yet. His waistline just keeps getting bigger and bigger like a college freshman and she doesn't know if he'll return to form.