Vuvuzelas: They Ruin Everything

First, let me start by saying that I am a huge soccer fan. I have watched most of the World Cup games thus far, and it has given me great joy, but something about the modern World Cup blow South African donkey balls. I'm talking about those obnoxious dick trumpets they call "vuvuzelas"

I'll lead off by saying FIFA made a (in the words of Charles "Cheeseburger" Barkley) turrable call by not banning these assholes from the beginning. The only thing pisses me off more than the vuvuzela are goats that sound like this.

Wait, I take that back, I'd rather have a stadium full of these goats than listen to this assclown blow his state of the art multi-vuvuzela cap. Probably had to sell 5 pounds of mangoes to build this thing.

The thing that is great about soccer is the tradition. I'm talking song and dance, watching the Irish get wasted, and of course the people of Ivory Coast causing riots and trampling people. The vuvuzelas take all that away and replace it with the a sound that makes even the sturdiest of butt holes quiver. FIFA I beg of you to strip search everyone who enters a stadium for vuvuzelas, and if caught, be forced to live in Mali, Africa for the rest of their lives.