It's Way Too Early For Shark Week

BOSTON -- The U.S. Coast Guard has confirmed shark sightings in the cold waters off the coast of Maine, Boston TV station WCVB reported. Officials said it was unusual to see the predators so close to land.The 12-foot-long sharks were spotted about 1 mile off the coast of York, Maine."Went over to investigate. Turned out to be two sharks in the water. Took a picture of it and checked out the sharks," U.S. Coast Guard Chief Russell Smith said.Weekenders along the Maine coast on Hampton Beach were surprised, but not too worried."Get out. Really? Sharks, out here?" one woman said.Heavy fog and cool temperatures kept most swimmers out of the water."It's just an unusual occurrence to see them come in close to the shoreline," Hampton Beach lifeguard Jim Donahue said.

This is terrifying. There aren't a ton of things that scare me but sharks in my water way is definitely one of them. It ranks up there with losing in wiffle ball, getting cancer, taking the garbage out when it's past dusk, the future, the 2012 Celtics, life without water, horses, all heights, robots, getting a flat tire, teen pregnancy, raising a gay son, living next door to a zamba farm, and last but not least, the sight of Large Marge. But back to the story. I love how the chief is so matter of fact about the whole thing. He's like, "yup we investigated. Saw the shark, snapped a couple dope shots of it to send to the kids, had a beer and beat my wife. Probably gonna end up doing some time for it. Pretty normal Saturday."