Officials in Kazakhstan say they have a found a woman who will this week celebrate her 130th birthday, making her 16 years older than the oldest known human currently living. Sakhan Dosova - a mother of ten - says she has never visited a doctor nor eaten sweets. She is addicted to cottage cheese and puts her longevity down to her sense of humour. Her remarkable age came to light during a census in Karaganda in northern Kazakhstan. Demographers were astonished to find that she was also on Stalin's first census of the region in 1926 when her age was given as 47.Leave it to the ex soviets to have the healthiest broad ever. I don't know why I didn't think of this shit earlier. I hate visiting the doctor too. Maybe it's just me but I don't like being to told to urinate on command or drop the trousers and not get any sort of satisfaction except dick jokes. Yeah, it stresses me the fuck out. And isn't cottage cheese what chubby chicks will eat for 3 weeks so they look right in that bikini? Call me whatever you would like but I think I'd date this chick in her good day. A pretty european who never eats sweets, has a sexy sense of humor and is down to get rowdy (has 10 kids). She's like the 130 year old version of me.
P.S. It's only tuesday and I've written my ass off already. You bitches better start clicking on ads and getting me paid. Being this awesome isn't easy after writing a 10 page paper on polytheism and it's consequences in ancient mesopotamia. suck on that. everyone.
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