HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! (I'll do Sells' job because he doesn't feel like working in these harsh economic times)

Happy turtle titittin birthday to Lauren Szurley. She's the starry eyed girl on the left I think. I don't really know, she sent me an e-mail declaring her love for the blog and demanding a shout out or she would go on Oprah and announce our long love affair. That was a joke. She's like bffffffl or something. It was on this day 19 years ago that her pretty colombian mother birthed her into Rza's world. Yeah, it was already declared my world 5.8 months before this day. Today we celebrate Lauren the sauce AKA the man with the golden dick, Dr. cocknballs, The peoples champion, The burlington bomber. Lauren Bigwig Szurley. Happy motherfuckin birthday.


On a side not, I'd like to take this time to ask where in the hell my other co workers are at these days. I don't know fellas. Seems like an awful bad time to quit on your job and stop doing what you're supposed to do. Oh you're too tired? So was General Mccarthur when he had to over see the occupation of Japan but you didn't see just turning power back to tao and wong. No, he had a responsibility that he had to keep for the greater good of the world. Just like you (sells, bayne, desi). What would donny baseball say right now? Don't be surprised tomorrow when you find a pink slip on your desk or when you can no longer sign in. Thanks for nothin dick heads. Turtle walk your ass out of here.


on an extra side, Reese Witherspoon is on Jay Leno right now and she looks amazing. If anyone could mend a broken heart it is without a doubt this beautiful woman.