"You Should Never Let a Chick Get Into Your Head. That's Why I Prefer To Not Even Talk To My Dates"

A Malaysian woman gathering fruit in a tree was shot by her neighbor after he thought she was a monkey.

Pahang state police said the volunteer Security Corps member came home and saw rustling in one of his trees and fired at what he thought was a monkey. It was only after the woman started screaming that he realized it was his neighbor gathering the sapodilla fruit. The Kuala Lumpur victim was hospitalized with a wound to the abdomen. She was in stable condition Friday. An investigation into the incident is continuing. The shooter could face charges for illegally discharging a firearm, which carries a maximum prison term of two years.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Do you sense a little monkey business going on here? I guess the only thing you can say is that justice was served. I mean how ugly do you have to be to fucking mistaken for a monkey? the ex-soviet in me says one was putting the other out of its misery. The irish part says I'm too drunk to read. But seriously now. The shooter could face charges for illegally discharching a firearm. What the fuck does that even mean? Wheres the charge of shooting your neighbor? All I know is if you can get away with shooting bitches because you thought they were a monkey, I know plenty of females who could use a mistaken bullet in the head.

P.S. Sellberg quit the biz so he could kiss more trouser snakes apparently. Cool, dude.