14 Year Olds Get It On Like OJ

Police said they attempted to stop the car at about 3:30 a.m. after receiving a complaint from a homeowner who said he had chased two teens from his Simsbury porch. The homeowner gave police a description of a vehicle that matched the Suburu. They said the car fled as the officer got out of his cruiser.The car was later found crashed into a pole on East Weatogue Street.Police said three 14-year-old eighth-graders were in the car. None of the teens had licenses, police said. Officials said all three boys are students at John Henry Middle School.

Yesterday I could swear I've seen it all. Bonfires of trust, flash floods of pain, the whole 9 yards. But 8th graders caught in a police chase? In a town like Simsbury? I love it. Take those extra high SAT scores and shove it right up that ass. That's superb parenting too. Just when you think Henry is fast asleep, he goes out and gets his Grand Theft Auto on. What kind of kid wants to go out at 3:30 AM? Even I don't like being awake that late, drunk or not. It's just a scary time to be awake. Whole new level of darkness out there. And the police said none of the teens had licenses. Thanks for that fellas. I guess it wouldn't be as big of a deal if they stole a car with a license. We thought 8th graders could drive cars these days. Keep it up. You're doing an amazing fucking job of protecting the roads.


Yeah, I googled 8th graders. Don't do it.