Twins?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Tiger Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren, briefly returned to the family home in Windermere, Florida, today along with her twin sister, Josefin. Elin and Josefin spent the evening at the home last night, along with their mother, Barbro Holmberg. We're told they went out for dinner and then returned. Tiger was nowhere in sight. We're told Barbro woke up in the middle of the night with stomach pains. The sisters felt it was food poisoning. Both Elin and Josefin were only at the home for a matter of minutes -- and just left the house in separate cars. Still no Tiger in sight.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Tiger Woods married into a set of twins? A set of Blonde, Swedish twins. WHAT?! I know people always said that Tiger was living the dream but he was seriously living the motherfucking dream. But now he fucked it up. Can this asshole do anything right? I still don't get how people say any of the other sluts are hotter than Elin. She's probably one of the top 10 most beautiful things I've ever seen in my entire life. And yes, I've seen Tom Brady in a towel and my own cock. Ogling Ed Hochuli just took it back to the old school days and went a little raw. Felt good.

Bahahahaha. This kid went all out.