NEW YORK -- Dozens of bikers joined a protest called the "Freedom Ride" to oppose the removal of a bike path in Williamsburg, an Orthodox Jewish neighborhood.Bicyclists who planned to go topless to protest the removal of a Brooklyn bike lane switched gears Saturday, pinning plastic breasts to their jackets as they rolled into a snowstorm. But the fierce snowstorm in New York kept them from pedaling topless as planned. The hipster cyclists blame Mayor Michael Bloomberg for the loss of the lane because Williamsburg's Hasidic Jewish residents "can't handle scantily clad women" on wheels, said bike messenger Heather Loop, who organized the action. The bikers' tactics did not amuse some faithful Hasids leaving synagogue services with their families on the Sabbath. They rushed home.
This story has it all. Jews, plastic tits, bikes, hipsters, and a protest. I'm not gonna pretend to know what a Hasidic jew is or what they believe in. Those beards look foolish. Have fun living in your fantasy 18th century world, creepers. As much as I oppose the idea of removing a bike trail because a bunch of prude jews don't like to see a woman's ass in spandex, I don't like hipster protesters even more. I don't care if they're even supporting my blog in a protest, I'm not down with the hipster movement. You wanna go ahead and spell words all weird and shit with Z's and use your uber cool language then be my guest. Put your tight jeans on and tweak your nipples, drink your PBR because it's "different." Just don't bring that noise around me 'cause I'll fuckin pull your card. And it's for shit like this that I lose respect for them. You wanna protest, go all the way. Let your tits and dick hang out. You're gonna let a snowstorm get in the way your cause? Good thing they didn't have hipsters in 1776 or I'd be having tea and crumpets with my mum right now.
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