Cat Starts Fire. Brady Holds His Head in Shame

PORT TOWNSEND, Wash. -- Investigators believe a cat who liked to sleep on top of a toaster oven started a kitchen fire in Port Townsend by depressing the toaster lever. Lois Lund told The Peninsula Daily News she doesn't hold a grudge against her cat Osiris. Lund said he had been sleeping on top of the oven to avoid a pet dog and probably stepped on the lever. Lund heard the fire early Sunday and put it out with a garden hose. Fire investigator Kurt Steinbach said the fire originated in the oven that had been left on. The cat escaped, and no one was hurt in the fire.

Cats like this give my agent/lawyer/manager/business partner/best friend a bad name. You think Brady hangs out on toaster ovens and acts like his shit don't stink after he burns up the kitchen? Nope. He's too busy being adorable. And how about the chick in this story? Uhh I'd hope you wouldn't hold a grudge against your cat. Maybe don't let the little fucker sleep on top of a toaster oven.  I mean I normally let Brady do whatever he wants but even he has restrictions. Like don't sleep on top of a toaster oven or drink the remaining beer from my mug while I'm slapping Sellberg's ass in NHL 2010. But why is this even a story in the news? The guy was able to wake up and put the fire out with a garden hose? What a blaze. I bet all those dudes who act like big firemen down at that Harwinton Fire Department would have blown a load if you told them there was a toaster fire. They live for that shit.