Hold on To Your Dicks. Prohibition is Back

TORRINGTON — Torrington-based Dwan & Company Distributors is one of a handful of Connecticut liquor wholesalers that have agreed to suspend the distribution of many caffeinated alcoholic energy drinks. Governor M. Jodi Rell and Department of Consumer Protection Commissioner Jerry Farrell have obtained agreements from Connecticut’s liquor wholesalers to voluntarily suspend their shipment and deliveries of the alcoholic drinks beginning Dec. 10. They include the Four Loko, Four Maxed and Joose brands. Four Loko is a fruity-tasting drink with an alcohol content equivalent to five shots of vodka and a strong dose of caffeine in each 24-ounce can. It is wildly popular on local college campuses and around the country, but cases have been reported of students being hospitalized for consuming too much of the beverage. Four Loko is now the subject of an investigation by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. “These drinks could pose serious public health and safety risks for consumers,” Rell said in a statement. “Across the country, we have read stories about how minors have indulged in these drinks to the point of requiring emergency medical attention. We want to see to it that we do not read about similar instances here in Connecticut.”

Not a huge fan of Four Loko but trust me, I'm in the minority. I don't do fruity flavored drinks. I don't think it's gay or anything but I can't do liquids that are too sweet or even candy. I get all mucus and shit in my throat and it hurts so I'd rather drink real drinks.  But I don't want that to take away from how big of a deal this is. Come December 10th we're headed for another prohibition era and shit is gonna get wild. I didn't read about Al Capone in 6th grade for nothin'. People from all over are going to be buying 40 ouncez of malt liquor, high energy drinks and all sorts of different flavored candy, mixing it up and selling it for a profit. Just watch. Only the strong will surive. Feelings will be hurt, relationships destroyed and lives will probably be lost. Obama will have to create his own seperate task force to stop us but he won't and soon the Four Loko ban will be repealed because prohibition put all the power in the criminal's hand.