It's Hard To Hate Rex Ryan

"I didn't [back off]," Ryan said told the paper. "I just told the truth. I came here to win. As much as I respect and admire Bill Belichick, I came here to kick his (butt), and that's the truth. That's just the way it is." The Jets and Patriots are tied atop the AFC East. The winner of Monday's game in Foxborough will have the inside track for the division title, a playoff bye and home-field advantage in the postseason. Ryan's swagger has been apparent since he arrived with the Jets in 2009. All year, he hasn't shied away from saying his Jets are the best team in the NFL. On Monday, he wants to prove that to Belichick and the rest of the league. "I came to win my own (Super Bowls) here, and whether he's coaching or not on the other sideline, that's what I came to do," Ryan told Newsday. "Do I respect and admire him? Absolutely."

Is he cocky and a little too sure of himself? Yup. Does he come off as big headed prick all the time who has never won shit and sometimes you wish you could strangle him? Absolutely. With all of this is he a tad entertaining? I'd say so. You know who else is like that? Me. Listen, there's nothing I hate more than the Jets besides the Yankees. It goes Yanks, Jets and Lakers but Rex Ryan does something to me and I don't know what it is. Same with Mark Sanchez. The kid has stones and they're big, brass ones. I'll root against him my entire life but I know if he didn't play in New York, he'd probably be my second favorite player behind Tom Terrific because he has that young swagger we all try to capture. Having said that, I hope the entire New York Jets defense, Santonio Holmes, LT and Braylon Edwards die a slow and painful death. Preferably before next Monday night.

This Is Pathetic.

Are we really celebrating a 7-5 season? And it's not a even a healthy 7-5 because one of those wins came against Colgate(or was it cornell? ever heard of it?) so it's really like 6-5. We're happy about that because we get to go to a bowl game that nobody outside of Syracuse and myself will watch? This is what we're shooting for every season? The fucking Big East crown was up for grabs and we didn't even want a piece of it. It's pathetic. Boston College physically kicked the shit out of us on our home turf. Boston College. Yeah. Don't let this take away from the freshman class on the basketball team this year. You thought Carmelo Anothony was a sweet name? Well wait until you get a load of Fab Melo, C.J. Fair, Dion Waiters, and Baye Moussa Keita. Africa unite, indeed.

Is This The Fakest Twitpic of All Time?

So Tiger just hangs out in his office in all his golf attire? Or is this simply marketing 101? And what's his right arm reaching for? I got 20 bucks that says he's grabbing a lovely lass on the knee cap. But only the left knee cap. Lefty likes that.

Kesha Tries To Be Funny. She's Still Gross

Ke$ha: The Story of the $ from Kesha

Maybe it's me but I can't get over that one picture of her in a bathing suit like 3 months ago. That type of shit stays with you and it's not just Kesha. I don't care if a girl looks hot 6 days out of the week. All it takes is that one day to turn me off for life. It also doesn't help Kesha's music makes me want to stab an ice pick in my eye.

Let The Poor Guy Eat His Cookie

Preach, bro. Preach. There's nothing more annoying than somebody trying to ask you questions while all you wanna do is enjoy a cookie. "Hey rza, why didn't you blog over thanksgiving break?" I was enjoying cookies, bro. Next time I get unexpectedly called on in class, I'll be sure to have a cookie in my hand and simply raise it like she already knows what the fuck is up. Relax, bitch. It's snack time. I'll get on Christianity and slavery in 2 minutes.

Tom Brady's Hair is Fake?

All season we've been asking ourselves how Tom Brady(notes) could think his Bieber-hair is a good look. What we should have been asking is what possessed him to grow out his flowing mane in the first place. According to The New York Daily News, Brady's long hair is a preemptive strike against male pattern baldness. The tabloid quotes a National Enquirer story which says Brady's wife, Gisele Bundchen, has ordered the quarterback to visit a hair restoration specialist in an attempt to curb the baldness gene that runs in the family. In that process, hair from the back and sides would be transplanted to the bald spot and the new growth would be seamless. If true (and that's a mighty big "if"), this misdirection by Brady would be like the hairstyle equivalent of the Statue of Liberty play. Draw all our attention to the flowing mane down the shoulders, ignore the enveloping bald patch on the top of the head. Brilliant. Bill Belichick himself couldn't have drawn up a better defensive scheme. 

I can't even try to sugarcoat this shit because this hurts and it hurts a lot. I've said all year that I like the look but I don't love it like I did last year. It fucking sucks now. I'm actually starting to hate his hair now that I know it might not all be real. This is like if you married a wholesome girl next door and 5 years into it, you find out she used to be a Vietnamese prostitute. Why is she Vietnamese if she's American you ask? Exactly. She never was American but you ignored that until you realized one of her faults and now you can get over the way she slurps a bit when she sips her milk. It's a snowball effect and you're left cold and lonely on the east side of the mountain.

This is the only style Tom Terrific should rock. Simple yet classy. It says I don't really give a shit what my hair looks like but I'm also not about to look like a hobo.

Cameron Diaz and Alex Rodriguez Spend Thanksgiving in Mexico

Alex Rodriguez and Cameron Diaz spent Thanksgiving in Mexico last week, pretty much frolicking around in bikinis (yes, A-Fraud wears a bikini) and showering each other the entire time but we learned one valuable thing - A-Roid has bigger tits than Cameron Diaz. I admit, I do like Cameron Diaz (and I'm probably in the minority) but only when she's dressed up, wearing lots of makeup and in romantic comedies. A month ago they apparently broke up but now seem to have gotten back together. After divorcing his wife in 2008 A-Rod dated Kate Hudson, then himself and now Cameron Diaz. What do Kate and Cameron have in common?? Hmmmmmm...

They are the latest celebrities to spend Thanksgiving south of the border as Jennifer Aniston and Chelsea Handler spent it together in Cabo. Correct me if I'm wrong but I thought Thanksgiving was a US thing? I'm thankful that the Pilgrims and Indians had such a great feast but I'm not too thankful for that country to the south. Nor the one to the north for that matter.

I'm not sure why you would want to see more pictures of them in Mexico but if you do go here and here.

Picture Of The Year

I love seeing Sidney Crosby get the business but I like it even more when Sean Avery is the one laying the law. That sounded like an awful tag line for a gay porn movie.

Slings and Stripes. Heyyooooo

The Singapore men raised eyebrows at the Asian Games in China with the moon on groin design.
Their government said they should show ‘dignity’ to the flag. A statement from the country’s Information Ministry declared: ‘Unfortunately the team did not seek our advice on the use of the crescent moon and stars when they designed their swim trunks.

Fucking Asia man. What's going on over there? North Korea is on the verge of blowing up the planet, South Korea is pissing themselves, China is losing their patience, Japan is still recovering from the atomic bomb, Pac-Man is having sex with all of the Philippines, Thailand is still trying to pretend they're a kingdom, the middle east is fucked beyond belief and now the Singapore polo team can't rock banana hammocks? Pretty sure nobody would mistake that large quarter moon for an Asian dick. Ya know, because they have small dicks. And to answer your question, yes it took me 5 lines to write the only thing I wanted to. 

The Kemba Walker's Are Ranked In The Top 10 Now?

Duke is the unanimous No. 1 team in this week's ESPN/USA Today coaches poll, while Connecticut vaulted from being unranked into the top 10 after winning the Maui Invitational. Duke received all 31 first-place votes from the panel of coaches. The Blue Devils are also a unanimous No. 1 in The Associated Press media poll. Unbeaten Ohio State (5-0) climbed a spot to No. 2, followed by Pittsburgh (7-0), Kansas (6-0) and Kansas State (5-1), which fell a spot after losing to Duke last week. But the biggest mover of the week was UConn, which is No. 9 thanks to its title march in Maui, which included wins over then-No. 2 Michigan State and then No. 9 Kentucky. The Huskies are 5-0 on the season and don't face a ranked team again until a Dec. 27 meeting with No. 3 Pittsburgh. The Huskies are No. 7 in the AP poll, thanks in large part to guard Kemba Walker, who is averaging 30 points a game this season on a team that has five freshman playing significant minutes. Michigan State, which picked up a pair of first-place votes last week, fell to No. 6 in the ESPN/USA Today poll after losing to Connecticut in Maui. Syracuse (6-0), Missouri (5-0), UConn and Baylor (4-0) round out the top 10.

That's cool. If you wanna call them Big East champs on November 29th then go ahead. I mean if you wanna fucking crown their ass then crown 'em. But by the time the ball drops on December 31st and I'll be so drunk I might not survive, UConn will have already lost at least 2 games and we'll all be talking about how we need to get that loving, Maui feel back. Fact.

What Has Happened To Ronaldinho?

This is what happens when you get relegated to being a substitute. This guy should  be playing 90 minutes every game. He's still that good. It's complete bullshit and it's disrespectful to everything he's accomplished in his career. This isn't David Beckham hanging on with a MLS team. This is a 30 year old forward on AC Milan who still has all his skills.

Steve Johnson Starts a Twitter War To End All Twitter Wars

Yikes. It's one thing to challenge Justin Bieber to a boxing match but it's another to call out God because you dropped a pass in overtime. Unless his wife cheated on him and that's why he tweeted that then I actually feel like an asshole.

Another Anonymous Commenter Is About To Get His Shit Stomped In

Tom Brady on whether the offense is on the same page
Well, you know, I would say its week-to-week thing, it’s not…last week, sure it was good. I think we've been doing better; I would’t say we’ve got it all figured out. There's still young players that need to contribute. Wes and Deion are a big part of what we do, Rob Gronkowski has proven himself, but Aaron Hernandez has to get more in the mix, Brandon Tate, Julian…it can’t be just one or two guys. That balance on offense (with the run game) has really shown up too.


First of all I don't really understand why you'd wanna comment on a blog post last week that was originally posted in April and after the draft but whatever. And then to do it anonymously? The brass balls on that guy, huh? Plenty of successful people smoke weed? Who? Besides all rappers and some actors, I can't think of anyone. Hey idiot, this aint the corporate office level we're talking about here. This is professional sports where you need all your physical resources. Michael Jordan smoked weed? Kobe smokes weed? Peyton Manning smokes weed? Tom Brady smokes weed? I know Randy Moss and Allen Iverson smoked weed and look how their careers are ending.  Remember when I said I didn't think Aaron Hernandez had his shit together and then he came out this season with big catches and everybody told me I was dumb. Well where the fuck has he been the past 2 weeks? When Tom Terrific says "Aaron Hernande has to get more in the mix" He's really saying "Aaron needs to get in the film room and start working his ass off like the other big play makers." I'll say what I said when we drafted him. I think there's maturity issues with that kid and until he proves it otherwise, I'm gonna stand by it.



P.S. Aaron Hernandez is an amazing human being? Yeah? Did you fuck him or something?

Sean Avery Kind Of Gets His Ass Kicked

What was it that Howie Day said? Even the best fall down sometimes? Even the wrong words seem to rhyme?

You Know Who Had a Great Thanksgiving Break? This Guy

Kid is living the dream. This is sweet talking 101. Check out the hand placement on these young lovers. He says, "I'm gonna play the back off game. See if she takes the bait. Then it's gut check time just like master rza taught me." And she says, "Spider-man is dope. I'm drunk. Who put shoe laces in my cup? How the fuck did they get shoe laces? Where am I? Is that Brad Pitt? Who gives a fuck!" Ahhh, you kids keep me young.


P.S. You know he totally opened up with a line asking if she's ever heard of Ogling Ed Hochuli.

Matt Ryan Just Got Enaged To This?

 ATLANTA --Perhaps the most eligible bachelor in Atlanta is officially off the market.  Atlanta quarterback Matt Ryan is engaged. Although it happened several weeks ago, it didn't become public knowledge until Saturday night when Ryan announced it on WXIA-TV in Atlanta.  Ryan said he and former Boston College basketball player Sarah Marshall, who have been dating for about seven years, are engaged. Ryan said he and Marshall will marry sometime in the offseason.

I don't wanna tell anyone how to live their life but what the fuck is this? You're one of the top 5 Quarterbacks in the NFL. Not the ACC, not the Big East. The National Football League. And you wanna spend the rest of your life with that? Listen, I love a good love story and if they've been together since high school then cool but he can do a lot better. I don't care if she has something that no other girl has because there are plenty of chicks who have what she doesn't and that's good looks. It looks bad for Quarterbacks. Look at Aaron Rodgers. He's no stud by any  means but he's dating a sports illustrated model because that's what you're supposed to do when you're 8-2 and have a bright future. You're not supposed to be slumming it with some broad you hooked up with freshman year and felt some connection that can be confused as love.

R.I.P. Prince Chunk

BLACKWOOD, N.J. -- An enormously fat cat named Prince Chunk who became famous when he was found wandering in New Jersey after his owner lost her home to foreclosure has died. Prince Chunk's adoptive owner, Vince Damiani of Blackwood, said the white tabby died in his sleep Sunday. He was about 10 years old. Damiani said a veterinarian had diagnosed the cat with heart disease. Prince Chunk skyrocketed to fame in August 2008 after the Camden County Animal Shelter, which took him in, reported that he weighed 44 pounds, just shy of a world record. Damiani believes that estimate may have been somewhat exaggerated. He said Prince Chunk weighed 22 pounds when he brought the cat home from the shelter. He soon became a media sensation, appearing on "Good Morning America," ''Live with Regis and Kelly," the covers of the New York tabloids and in People magazine.

You're simply setting your cat up for heart disease when you name it Prince Chunk.  Like if you name your son Lance then you know he's going to be a gay or if you name him anything that sounds urban, he has a career of criminal activity in his future.

Wait. The Heat Aren't Undefeated?

DALLAS -- While Dirk Nowitzki drove for a layup during Dallas' game-turning run to start the second half, he split a gap between Dwyane Wade and LeBron James -- with all three of All-Stars in the air at the same time -- to get to the basket. Even with Wade's new help in Miami, the Heat still can't beat the Mavericks in the regular season. After losing for the fourth time in five games, 106-95 on Saturday night, the Heat (9-8) had a players-only meeting. That comes a month into the season that James and Dallas-born Chris Bosh joined Wade in Miami. "We felt like we needed it. Sometimes it's a feel. We haven't had a team-only meeting. We're playing like 9-8 and we needed it," Wade said. "This is a new team, a new group of guys. Guys need to understand each other and hear each other talk. We all feel better after the talk we had."


So you're telling me that there's more to winning basketball games than just 3 good players getting together and trying to pretend like it's rec league ball? The team that was supposed to win not 5, not 6, but maybe 7 rings is struggling to beat mediocre teams? I guess this is why you play the games instead of handing out stat sheet championships. The way ESPN covers them you'd think this was the Dream Team losing every single night and it was national tragedy or something. Well news flash, ESPN. Nobody gives a fuck about Lebron or the Miami Heat. It's great to see them lose but every game shouldn't be front page news. Like it was cool to see Miley Cyrus straight struttin that ass but now that it happens on the daily makes it so it shouldn't be big news. 

And you don't just accidentally bump someone like that. I may be as clumsy as they come but I can always do a quick side step to not throw my shoulder into another person.

Shaun Hill Mad About Football Players Acting Like Football Players

Detroit Lions quarterback Shaun Hill accused the New England Patriots of trying to re-break his left arm during a sneak play on Sunday, according to a report on Mlive.com. During the second quarter, Hill ran a quarterback sneak from the Pats' 2-yard line and extended his arms toward the goal line. He had been playing with a fracture in his non-throwing forearm suffered against the Giants five weeks ago and said he felt someone in the scrum trying to work over his limb on Sunday.  "That's why I eventually gave up the ball," Hill said, according to Mlive.com. "Somebody was down there [in the pile] literally trying to break my arm, which is already broken. Literally, trying. And, uh, y'know, I guess [it] wasn't seen [by officials]."

Oh boo fucking hoo.  This is football, this aint the food stamps line. If you have an apparent weakness, you have to expose it. Plain and simple. Tom Terrific gets his head twisted around every time he runs the QB sneak and you don't see him crying into his tampons about it. Listen, you can't go after a guy's knees because that's a potential career ender but what's a broken arm gonna do? I'm so sick of athletes bitching the day after a game. What are we saying by reporting it? You're not allowed to tell an ugly mothefucker he looks like a cancer patient and you can't get filthy with it at the bottom of a scrum?

Feast On This, Bitches

DETROIT -- Tom Brady was perfect on the field and his exit was first-class. Brady threw a season-high four touchdown passes, all in the second half, and the New England Patriots routed the Detroit Lions 45-24 on Thursday after trailing by 11 late in the second quarter."We showed some resiliency, coming out in the second half and playing the way we did when the crowd was into it," Brady said. Following Brady's brief news conference, the former Michigan star jogged out of Ford Field -- limping slightly up a steep ramp -- hugged Robert Kraft and got into an idling limo with the team owner behind a police escort.New England (9-2) moved a half-game ahead of the AFC East rival New York Jets -- who played Cincinnati on Thursday night -- for the NFL's best record, setting up a showdown at home Dec. 6."I don't think we're at where we need to be at," Brady said. "But this is a tough group."

It's safe to say Tom Brady is not only the best QB in the league but maybe the best of all time, right? We'll wait until the end of the year when he has another ring for that discussion. I love the new mountain man look though. While Peyton Manning and Drew Brees are these clean cut guys with no facial hair, Tom Terrific isn't taking care of anything except winning fucking football games. That's all I want. The fact that he's a complete stud and married to a super model is an added bonus. Give me 40 seconds on the clock, put the ball on your own 5 yard line with a 6 point deficit and tell me another guy you want leading your squad down the field. Don't say Peyton because we all know what happened when we gave him that scenario last week.


P.S. Ending your press conference then hugging the owner and hopping in his limo might be the most boss thing any person can do. 

What The Fuck Is Up With Glee?

I don't get it. I don't get the appeal or the story line or the moral compass they try to  install in every episode. From what I've seen the only award they should win is being the most unrealistic show on television. I mean even The Event is more likely to happen in real life than a day in the life of a Glee character. Do these kids not go to class? They just sing and dance and hang out in the gym locker room all day? Is this glee club an after school activity? If so, why are so many students walking around? Does it interfere with football practice? And obviously the one gay kid has to get bullied because there's no such thing as a gay guy who has a regular life. What kind of message is that? Ya know, because we're still living in the 1930's when being homosexual was something to be ashamed and scared of. I don't buy into the whole bullying scene. Like everyone is just gonna go about their business in a tiny school hallway while a kid named Kurt gets shoved into a locker everyday? Really? I don't think so. Which brings up another point, does this school have one hallway? Are we in Har-Bur middle school? Except in this school, we have every race represented because we don't want the rest of the nation to go into an uproar. We got a chubby asian, a fat black chick, two jews, 2 blonde cheerleaders, good looking quarterback, a gay, a bro in a wheel chair, and one sub par girl. Every base is covered. I don't know. Kinda seems like a grown up version of Sesame Street or something.

Did That Really Happen Last Night?

LAHAINA, Hawaii -- Connecticut coach Jim Calhoun joked last week that he still didn't know all his players' names, much less how good they're going to be. After knocking out a heavyweight in a championship-caliber bout, he -- and everyone else, for that matter -- should know these young Huskies are for real.Trading blows in the first half and big shots in the second, Connecticut solidified its return to elite-program status by knocking off No. 2 Michigan State 70-67 in a physical Maui Invitational semifinal on Tuesday.  "We just showed the world we can play," said UConn's Kemba Walker, who scored 30 points and hit a key jumper with less than a minute left.

What is Kemba Walker? He's not a point guard, right? I hope not because I don't want my point man putting up 30 and 3 every night. Yeah, the 30 points are great but that's not a point guard's job and no team can afford that guy to average 38 minutes a night and still be breathing by January. I don't mean to take away from the big win last night but you gotta be fucking real for a second. It's game 4 of a long season. I was ready to write them off after the near loss to Wichita State so there's no way I'm getting excited over that win last night. Any team could have gone in on a neutral court and knocked off a sloppy Michigan State.

Still My Favorite Picture of All Time

Classic NYC Corner Bodega Brawl

I still can't tell if the fatass is a guy or girl. That determines what side of the fence you fall on with this fight. All I know is somebody owes somebody else money and that never goes over well. Throw in the fact that tubby decides to spill the snack rack and all bets are off. I actually think that should define the climax of this fight. Like a shouting match was fine but then you mess with my doritos? Oh hell no. Similar to the Cold War. This was a staring contest until Cuba started harboring Russian missiles and it set off the bay of pigs invasion. You can learn a lot from history.


P.S. Not a good look for Four Loko sitting on that counter top. We just keep getting put in the wrong place at the wrong time.

What The Fuck Is This All About?

I'm happy that the page views and hits are way up. It's actually pretty awesome but if life was all about having friends and making people happy then I'd be a fucking millionaire by now. I can finally relate to Randy Moss when he said "I don't tape ankles, I don't cut checks." I don't write blog posts for fucking fun. My only question is if we got a lot more readers, why hasn't my bank account felt it? This blog has been sitting on the $69 mark for like a month. And that's funny and you can make a sexual joke out of it but I'm not gonna laugh at it. I'm broke and you know you're broke when you have to ask your buddy if you can borrow two dollars to buy a milk at Dunkin Donuts. SO fucking click on some ads. Make daddy rich.

FUCK.

Free-agent catcher Victor Martinez is bolting the Boston Red Sox to sign with the Detroit Tigers, a major league source told the Boston Globe on Tuesday. Two weeks ago, Red Sox general manager Theo Epstein expressed his strong interest in re-signing Martinez and third baseman Adrian Beltre. But he acknowledged competition for the players. One report -- from Venezuelan reporter Ignacio Serrano of El Nacional -- said that Martinez will receive a four-year deal for $50 million. The Red Sox were not willing to match the Tigers in years, while the Orioles and White Sox were also outbid, according to the report. Martinez made $7.7 million last season. Assuming the Red Sox offer Martinez arbitration, they will receive two draft picks for their Type-A free agent signing elsewhere.

Fuck. That's really all you can say at a time like this.  And it's not like a long, drawn out fuck. Not a "Ohhh fuuuckkkk." This is a simple, "fuck." You  have nothing else to say or think because your mind is consumed by doom. What are we gonna do now? I'm not down with Salty being our full-time catcher. What if he has another mental  breakdown and he can't throw the ball  back to the pitcher? Before free agency I said we needed to re-sign V-Mart and sign or trade for 2 other big name players. We could afford to lose Beltre but not Martinez. He does too many things that can't be replaced by another player. I can't wait to watch a 3rd place team all year next season.


P.S. Theo Epstein better have some secret scheme prepared that involves Carl Crawford and Adrian Gonzalez. 

Floyd Has 3 Years To Grow a Pair Of Testicles and Fight Pac-Man

MANILA, Philippines -- Manny Pacquiao says he plans to retire in three years and doesn't see himself boxing beyond the age 35. The boxing champion also told a news conference in Manila he's willing to fight Mexican Juan Manuel Marquez again but that the match would probably not excite fans. He sounded doubtful himself, saying "I would not watch Pacquiao vs. Marquez." Congressman Pacquiao was speaking in the Philippine House of Representatives on Monday, where he received the highest medal for the second time following his latest victory over Antonio Margarito.

3 years is enough time to man the fuck up and fight, right?  And if I'm Floyd, I wanna get this fight done as soon as possible because Manny only gets better with every fight. It's like people who want to attack the blog know they should have done it in it's early stage because now I'm  like a 3 headed monster. I mean I'll come at you from 5 different ways and fuck your whole world up.

Happy 18th, Indeed.

18 years old so you know what that means. She's legally an adult. We can openly call her a filthy whore in public and get away with it. Seriously. She's gross. What's the Over/Under on how many abortions she has before turning 25?

Charlize, Watch Out! He Might Rape You!

There goes Kobe Bryant and his animalistic ways again and if anything happens, I blame Charlize for this. She clearly got photographed giving the two armed hug and Kobe only has one arm around her. That's all his lawyers need to say it was consensual.

Richard Seymour Wants To Know What The 5 Fingers Said To The Face

It's about time Big Ben got a taste of his own medicine. Hey, bro you can't go around raping girls in bar bathrooms and think everybody will still like you. Is there anything more demeaning to a man then when another man slaps you in the face and you fall to the turf like a sack of potatoes?

Anybody Know How That Patriots Game Ended Today? I Think I Missed It...

Wait, wait, wait. You're telling me Peyton Manning threw 3 interceptions?  And the last one was on the final drive when the Pats pretty much served the game to him on a silver platter? WHAT?!?! Oh, that's right. I WAS THERE MOTHERFUCKER. And yeah, all that shit happened and then some. Peyton Manning is a zero. A zilch. He can't even sniff Tom Brady's jock strap. That's another loss in Foxboro for #18 and he's still down 3-1 in super bowls. How does our ass taste?


P.S. Peyton better not let go of that hand. That's the closest to God that he'll ever come.

P.P.S. I'm totally ignoring that wamp job Syracuse was served last night. 

We Watched This Live Last Night So It's a Must Post

Paul Williams was the one who said he could dominate Pacquiao. Really? SWEET DREAMS, BITCH!

Amber From Teen Mom Is Headed To The Big House

ANDERSON, Ind. -- Indiana police want prosecutors to file charges against the star of the MTV program "Teen Mom." Anderson Police Detective Jake Brooks says in a probable cause affidavit that 20-year-old Amber Portwood "implicated herself" in slapping, choking, and punching 24-year-old Gary Shirley three times since August 14, 2009. Brooks asked prosecutors to file two felony counts and one misdemeanor count of battery. The alleged felonies occurred in the presence of the child. Leah was one at the time of the first incident. Portwood's attorney Robert Schembs had no comment Friday. A message was left with the Madison County prosecutor.

Gonna be real and honest here for a second. How do you not hit that girl? Seriously. How do you not just throw an "accidental" elbow right into her dome? I've thrown plenty of those in my life. A simple "whoops, didn't see ya there ya fatty. Good thing your fat absorbed my elbow though huh?" Maybe shake the shit out of her. I never condone abuse but this might be the only exception because Amber from Teen Mom deserves a classic beat down. Bring her out back and let her taste some dirt. I'm not saying you touch her but I have an idea in mind that would shut her up for a while. Something that makes her remember you put your pants on one leg at a time like every other man in the world. I call it the Tokyo Sandblaster. Line up, ladies.

It's Friday. Guess Who's Back?

Oh yeah. Time to get creepy, filthy, and weird. You're sadly mistaken if you think I won't be walking around, singing this with the same smile on my face for the next week.

Kenny Rogers Is Involved With The Cam Newton Scandal? Uhhh Are You Surprised?

An attorney for the man who relayed an alleged pay-for-play request from the father of Auburn quarterback Cam Newton said Thursday that he hasn't decided whether to allow his client to talk to Mississippi officials looking into possible violations of the state's law regulating agents. "I think they want to put Kenny, somehow, into the agent category. He clearly is not," attorney Doug Zeit said of Kenny Rogers, whom he described as a consultant to Chicago agent Ian Greengross. "I'm not certain we want to talk to them, and it's my call. It's not Kenny's call. I'm not sure at this point whether we need to talk to anybody else." Rogers talked with NCAA investigators Tuesday. Dave Scott, Mississippi's assistant secretary of state for regulation/enforcement declined comment.

People are shocked and appalled to hear that Cam Newton wanted money to play football and this Kenny Rogers fellow was his middle man. Umm Duh. He's the gambler baby!



P.S. I've been waiting for an excuse to post a Kenny Rogers video for the past 4 months

This Is The Sexiest Man Alive?

They both love politics and are passionate about the environment.  But it seems Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson also have something else in common - their good looks. Actor Ryan Reynolds has been named the Sexiest Man Alive by People magazine, a day after his wife Scarlett Johansson was labelled 'Babe Of The Year' by GQ magazine.

I'm not fighting this one. It's about time Van Wilder got some notoriety. He was simply break through in Oscar Nominated films such as Just Friends, Waiting, Amityville Horror, The one with Sandra Bullock and Betty White aaannddd what else? Definitely, Maybe. Yeah. You're not getting that chick flick by me. No way. But seriously, Ryan Reynolds is a good dude and Scarlett Johansson is a girl I'd piss on if she was on fire. That means I really, really like her. I'm like a dog. Gotta mark my territory before I buy the ring.

I Think Peter Gammons Had Another Stroke On Twitter

I don't know what plops means but it sounds filthy. You dirty, dirty old man.

Manny Pacquiao Is Afraid of Black People?

Would a black boxer stand a better chance against Manny Pacquiao than his most recent competition? Bernard Hopkins believes so. And while boxing fans wait -- and wait -- for Pacquiao (52-3-2, 38 KOs) and Floyd Mayweather Jr. to finally agree to terms for a fight, Hopkins is asserting that a black fighter's style would give Pacquiao more of a challenge than Antonio Margarito was able to muster against Pacquiao on Saturday night, according to a story on Fanhouse.com. And Hopkins -- who said he's voicing what other black fighters and fight fans are thinking but reluctant to say -- is wondering why Pacquaio hasn't fought Mayweather "or any other top-notch black fighter," according to the report. "Floyd Mayweather would beat Manny Pacquiao because the styles that African-American fighters -- and I mean, black fighters from the streets or the inner cities -- would be successful," said Hopkins, according to Fanhouse.com. "I think Floyd Mayweather would pot-shot Pacquiao and bust him up in between the four-to-five punches that Pacquiao throws and then set him up later on down the line." Pacquaio fought and defeated Joshua Clottey of Ghana earlier this year, but Hopkins discounted that win, saying "Clottey is 'black,' but not a 'black boxer' from the states with a slick style." The Pacquiao and Mayweather camps have twice tried and failed to set up a fight between the two, despite predictions it would become the most lucrative bout ever. The first set of talks broke down in part over disagreements about Olympic-style drug testing.

Something tells me Bernard Hopkins has been hit a few too many times in the head and is just a little jealous because he never reached the success Pacquiao has.  I mean how many good black boxers are out there besides Mayweather? And he's too much of a pussy to fight Pac-man so who's left? The Mexicans are the only ones who have the balls to step up to the ring to fight Manny. He beat Clottey last year who's black but because he's from Ghana he doesn't as street black? So Bernard Hopkins now has ruling over who's black and who isn't black. Ok. Keep talking, bro. Just because you're over the hill doesn't mean you get to take shots at whoever you want because you can't fight anymore. I'm pretty sure Pacquiao would fight Tyson and beat his ass if you put him in front of him. Dude has no fear what so ever.

Saturday Night Is a Big Fucking Game

The Dome better be cranking like the Donovan McNabb days because we'll need it against UConn. Obviously I want Syracuse to win and I'll probably be wearing my #39 Walter Reyes(who? look it up) jersey. If the Huskies pull it out and finish strong like a rookie on prom night, I won't cry myself to sleep. Syracuse might be my wife but UConn is definitely one of my sluts I keep on the side to take to a bar but never breakfast the next day. Anyway. Just a ton of shit riding on this game. UConn needs a win in a bad way to become bowl eligible and still be alive in the hunt for the conference title. Syracuse needs a win to end big east play at 5-2 and trail Pitt by a game for a championship and trip to a BCS bowl. So, yeah. In the words of Joe Biden, "This is a big fucking deal." I'm reading right now that the game is scheduled to be on ESPNU. Seriously? The on ESPN channel I don't get in HD is ESPNU. Great. Just fucking great.

Tony Parker Cheated On Eva? Huh? And With Brent Berry's Wife?

Tony Parker has been cheating on wife, Eva Longoria, and she has filed for divorce. The woman that Tony Parker cheated with is Erin Barry, who also happens to be Brent Barry’s wife, Tony Parker’s teammate! Erin Barry and Brent Barry are also in the process of getting divorced, so we can’t help but wonder, will Erin Barry and Tony Parker start dating now that their marriages are over? Or are Tony Parker and Erin Barry already a couple? Eva Longoria found out that Tony Parker was cheating with Erin Barry after she found text messages between the two on Tony’s cell phone.

I used to like Tony Parker but what the fuck? What's the deal with teammates hooking up with each other's wives?  I thought it was just an English soccer thing but now it's moved across the pond, I see. How can you do that to your teammate? One day you're rebounding for eachother and the next minute you're pounding his wife. I don't like it. You know Tim Duncan let out a heavy sigh when he heard about this(because he doesn't show a lot of emotion. Get it?) And this is exactly why you can't trust bilingual men. Two faced motherfuckers.

Bingo.

Is he dancing in a dorm room? I seriously watched the video  hope the straps would fall off. SHOW US YOUR BOOBS! You can't just dance sexy like that and then not give us anything. Grow up, bro. Being a tease is so 7th grade. Oh. Wait....

Tom Brady Is Living The Dream

Yeah, I'm super worried about the foot injury that kept him out of practice.

Hockey World Still Bitching About Sean Avery

Elsewhere in Bruins news, the B's visit the Rangers on Wednesday, which means facing Rangers initiator Sean Avery. "He's so despicable," Milbury said. Avery's latest brush with controversy came in Sunday's game against the Oilers, when he ignited a melee. "Avery brings this stuff on, and I don't know how his teammates feel about having to clean out his closet after he causes all this mess," Milbury said. "He's sitting comfortably in the locker room, and they're going toe to toe with some pretty big guys from Edmonton. It's real old for me. He constantly crosses — he's just a bad itch, and I just wish I could get one final scratch on him."

There are a few other players who share a similar sentiment regarding Avery, who is no stranger to controversy. Nashville Predators forward Wade Belak said, in so many words, that he wouldn’t save Avery if he was on fire. Quite an interesting perspective on how players around the league feel about Sean Avery. It’s probably a good thing for Avery that the Oilers and Rangers don’t play again this season, because the guys in the dressing room were very angry at the whole incident. Oilers tough guy Steve MacIntyre said this, and then Avery himself gave a response: “I thought it was pretty gutless. It just shows you what kind of guy he is. He’ll get his. Somebody who is bigger and tougher. He’ll get what’s coming.’’ Said Sean Avery: “He asked me to fight. I guess they didn’t like how the fight went.” 

I love how his only reaction is: "He asked me to fight. I guess they didn't like how they fight went." I still don't get what all the outrage is for. Smid asked Avery to fight. He shouldn't have let his guard down for a second when dealing with a cold blooded killer like Avery. And look at the picture. He had one arm out to try and stop it. They make it seem like Avery skated up to him out of no where and clocked Smid when he was feeding his child or something. He's just embarrassed cause he got knocked the fuck out with one punch from a guy who is half his size.

El Tigre Is Back On Twitter

I'll tell ya something. Tiger isn't a changed man. He clearly doesn't give a fuck about what everyone is up to. Notice he didn't throw in a "?" after what's up everyone. It's like the same thing when you walk into a store and you greet the cashier with a "how's it goin?" I don't care how things are going but I'm not gonna stand there in silence and be awkward. It's actually how I interact with 90% of people. Yeah, my eyes are moving and words are coming out of my mouth and you think we might share the same interests but I am simply not there.

8 Year Old Jets Fan Gets a Sack Lunch

An 8-year-old New York Jets fan was tackled by an adult Browns fan after Sunday's game, according to a television station in Cleveland. The boy went to the game at Cleveland Browns Stadium in a Jets jersey with his father, who was born in New York. Much to the chagrin of the local crowd, the Jets rallied for a 26-20 overtime victory. The boy's mother, identified only as Danielle by ABC affiliate WEWS because she didn't want to reveal her last name, said the fans in the stadium were great, but things got out of control after the game. "Calling him a bad word, to my husband and to my son, throwing food at them," she said, according to WEWS. When the family reached the parking lot, the situation got uglier.  "As [my husband] was walking, holding my son's hand, a guy from behind tackled him. A drunken Browns fan tackled him and pulled him out of his dad's hand. He was on the ground crying," Danielle said, according to the station. The boy was left with a scraped and bruised ankle. The mother said her husband didn't call police, opting instead to quickly get in the car and leave. When reached by the television station, Browns vice president of media relations Neal Gulkis called the situation unfortunate and disappointing and said the team is looking into the matter.

I'm with the mom when she says the kids are off limits. No real man should ever go provoking a woman and her child but where's the dad in all this? He didn't call police, he instead ran to the car because they had to get the hell out of there? When is time to defend your family's honor? You got a drunk Cleveland fan who just attacked your son on the ground. For me this would be like hunting season. I don't even have to think about it. I'm taking off my imaginary hockey gloves and it's go time. You'd need the entire soviet army to take me off of him before I'd beat his face into a rock.


P.S. This kid probably had it coming. Fuck the Jets.

Hold on To Your Dicks. Prohibition is Back

TORRINGTON — Torrington-based Dwan & Company Distributors is one of a handful of Connecticut liquor wholesalers that have agreed to suspend the distribution of many caffeinated alcoholic energy drinks. Governor M. Jodi Rell and Department of Consumer Protection Commissioner Jerry Farrell have obtained agreements from Connecticut’s liquor wholesalers to voluntarily suspend their shipment and deliveries of the alcoholic drinks beginning Dec. 10. They include the Four Loko, Four Maxed and Joose brands. Four Loko is a fruity-tasting drink with an alcohol content equivalent to five shots of vodka and a strong dose of caffeine in each 24-ounce can. It is wildly popular on local college campuses and around the country, but cases have been reported of students being hospitalized for consuming too much of the beverage. Four Loko is now the subject of an investigation by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. “These drinks could pose serious public health and safety risks for consumers,” Rell said in a statement. “Across the country, we have read stories about how minors have indulged in these drinks to the point of requiring emergency medical attention. We want to see to it that we do not read about similar instances here in Connecticut.”

Not a huge fan of Four Loko but trust me, I'm in the minority. I don't do fruity flavored drinks. I don't think it's gay or anything but I can't do liquids that are too sweet or even candy. I get all mucus and shit in my throat and it hurts so I'd rather drink real drinks.  But I don't want that to take away from how big of a deal this is. Come December 10th we're headed for another prohibition era and shit is gonna get wild. I didn't read about Al Capone in 6th grade for nothin'. People from all over are going to be buying 40 ouncez of malt liquor, high energy drinks and all sorts of different flavored candy, mixing it up and selling it for a profit. Just watch. Only the strong will surive. Feelings will be hurt, relationships destroyed and lives will probably be lost. Obama will have to create his own seperate task force to stop us but he won't and soon the Four Loko ban will be repealed because prohibition put all the power in the criminal's hand.

This Should Be Titled "Sweetness"

10 games into the season and Rondo already has a top 10 play highlight tape? Good grief. I can't remember the last time I watched a player and the only words I could come up with were "He's so fucking good."

This Music Video Is So Historically Inaccurate It's Not Even Funny

First of all there were no gays in the south and there still aren't to this very day. One of the most charming aspects of that region if you ask me. This wouldn't be a problem if Boy George didn't name the exact setting for his video. But you throw in a state and year and you open yourself up to criticism. I can assure you those bitches in 1870 we're not wearing red, gold and green. Maybe 1970 but not 1870. And now the big part that really grinds my gears. The black people. I love black people but uhhh the Civil War ended in 1865. You're telling me 5 years after the fact, Missippi, one of the most slave populated states was over it? All of a sudden the kid who used to pick your cotton is now wearing a 3 piece suit and grinding on your daughter? With a top hat might I add. The music video is irresponsible.


P.S. What's the deal with the guys stealing earrings off the ears of all the girls?


P.P.S. Is one of those black guys the actor who played Candy Man?

Golfer Sues Friend For Not Yelling Fore

ALBANY, N.Y. -- Two doctors are playing golf on Long Island. One hits such a poor shot from the rough that it hits his partner, standing somewhere off to the side, in the head. Whose fault is that? New York's top court will hear arguments Tuesday about whether Dr. Anoop Kapoor was negligent and should have yelled, "Fore!" as a warning before the shot. A judge dismissed Dr. Azad Anand's lawsuit, finding he took on the primary risk by golfing. A midlevel court, divided 3-1, agreed, concluding Anand was "not in the foreseeable danger zone" and his friend had no duty to yell the customary warning. Anand was blinded in one eye. The Appellate Division majority also questioned whether even a negligent failure to warn another golfer before taking a swing is inconsistent with the doctrine that anyone stepping onto the course assumes the risk of getting hit. "It relieves the striker of almost any responsibility whatsoever," said Steven Cohn, a lawyer representing Anand. "Common practice pretty much says you have a duty to yell, 'Fore!' You have a duty to know where the other golfers are." A dissenting justice said there's a factual question under existing case law about whether Kapoor violated the sport's rule or custom, "unreasonably increased" his partner's risk and caused the accident. The Court of Appeals is expected to rule next month after hearing oral arguments Tuesday.

I like golf but I don't know proper etiquette for on course behavior.  I mean throw me on a court or playing field or a place where a real man's sport is played and I'll run circles around you but not the golf course. I don't think I have the temperament for it. Sorry I don't want to rule a game that frowns upon any sort of emotion. Old school golfers wanna call Tiger Woods barbaric because he yells and fucks babes on the reg but slap a helmet and pads on him and he's a 3 time super bowl winner. Do you really have to yell "Fore!" if your buddy is 20 feet away? That seems a little fruity and we're already dressed like assholes. But really you're too dumb to get the fuck out of my way when I'm hitting from the rough then I hit you in the face and it's my fault because I didn't yell? Even though you would have gotten drilled before I got the words out? Really? I guess the holocaust was our fault because we sat on our thumbs when Hitler started "baking" and didn't jump in until Japan slapped us in the dick and dared us to use it. Well, use it we did when we planted our seed in the form of an atomic bomb. Where was this post going?  This whole story seems like a load of bullshit. Dudes don't sue their fellow dudes. You settle it like the rest of us. Through anonymous commenting on blogs.

McNabb Has 5 More Years To Get In 2 Minute Drill Shape

The Washington Redskins and quarterback Donovan McNabb have agreed to a five-year, $78 million extension, his agent told The Associated Press. Fletcher Smith said $40 million of the deal will be guaranteed. A source told ESPN NFL Insider Michael Smith, who first reported the agreement, that McNabb's contract could be worth $88 million if incentives in the contract are reached. McNabb, who will turn 34 later this month, agreed to an extension just two weeks after he was benched at the end of a loss to the Lions because coach Mike Shanahan said the quarterback didn't have a grasp of the team's 2-minute offense.

$78 million extension, huh? Well you know what that means. Every girl is crazy about a sharp dressed man. Cue the music!

I Feel Like I'm Living In Bizarro World

MIAMI -- If the Miami Heat locker room was polled, LeBron James would not have unanimous support in the race for Time's Person of the Year. James wouldn't even vote for himself. Calling it "crazy" just to be on the list of finalists for the award, the NBA's reigning two-time MVP seemed almost a bit embarrassed on Monday when he learned that he was one of the final 25 names under consideration. The winner of the award, bestowed since 1927 on a person or group who "has done the most to influence the events of the year," is expected to be revealed next month. "I am who I am and I think I'm in a position of my life where I'm going to get better every day," James said after Miami wrapped up its practice Monday. "But it's too much." Other finalists this year include President Barack Obama (the 2008 winner), Lady Gaga, Sarah Palin, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, conservative commentator Glenn Beck, Afghan President Hamid Karzai and Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan.

This is a joke, right? Is Lebron seriously nominated for Person of The Year along with the likes of Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, Obama, and Lady GaGa? What the fuck have they done in the past year except lie, create hate and spread fear? Technically Barack hasn't done any of that because he really hasn't done anything but I digress.  If we're going that far then how do you leave Charlie Sheen or Mel Gibson off the list? They've definitely influenced the way I speak to women.  It's days like this that I question my existence on this planet. I bet tomorrow we're gonna wake up and the vatican will announce that they're adding pages to the bible titled "The Days Of Tebow."

We Dumped 39 Points On The Steelers In Pittsburgh. How Does Our Ass Taste?

Great game, great win. You can't run on Pittsburgh? How does Benjarvus Green-Ellis digging in for 87 yards feel? Oh, that Steel Curtain defense rips apart quarterbacks? So #12 putting up 360 yards and 3 touchdowns was just a fluke or something.  I've never seen Tom Terrific so animated and I gotta say, it did something to me. Seeing him fired up gave me goose bumps. Made me hot and shit. Like General Macarthur knocking down the pride of Japan. Saying we beat the shit out of the Steelers doesn't even do it justice. I mean it was a wamp job. A completed wamp. I feel good.

What The Fuck Are Those?

These are the new, hot cleats on the market? So that's what the kids are wearing these days? It looks like someone puked and then tried to color it with an orange high lighter. Either that or some weird cheetah print design that the gays are probably very familiar with. I don't know. I'm running on fumes today. If I even see a beer bottle, I'm going to vomit all over my sweater. Yeah, I'm wearing a sweater and I don't have anywhere to go. I'm classy like that.

Sean Avery Starts a Shit Storm

Their frustrations came to a boil at 11:18 of the third period. Sean Avery caught Colin Fraser with a clean check along the boards and challenged to fight by Ladislav Smid. Avery, at first, declined but then quickly dropped his gloves and dropped Smid with a quick punch. As Avery was being escorted off the ice, both Ryan Whitney and Theo Peckham tried to go up the runway after him. Fraser and Peckham both also skated past the Rangers bench with Fraser grabbing Brandon Dubinsky, who was off the ice. Rangers coach John Tortorella grabbed Dubinsky from behind to make sure he stayed on the bench. Meanwhile, Brandon Prust and the Oilers’ Zack Stortini were exchanging blows at center ice. Rangers enforcer Derek Boogaard and Steve MacIntyre had fought twice previously in the third period.


Just a good weekend for a people getting the shit kicked out of them. Turns me the fuck on.

Whammy.

I told you Pacquiao would murder him. Best boxer in the world, baby. Best boxer ever? I'm not saying no to that.

Manny Pacquiao Doesn't Need To Beat Margarito, He Needs To Murder Him

Antonio Margarito takes on Manny Pacquiao on Saturday and there is no lack of bad blood between the fighters’ camps. However, the Margarito camp went too far. In a video that has since been removed, Margarito and Brandon Rios, along with their trainer and ex-fighter Robert Garcia, are seen making fun of Freddie Roach’s Parkinson’s disease. However, the fact that the video has been pulled, edited and pulled again is quickly becoming the story. The video originally came from AOL FanHouse’s Elie Seckbach, but was removed and then edited. I’m not entirely sure why. FanHouse wasn’t a party to the assholery. They just posted the video of a couple boxers making fun of a guy with Parkinson’s. When the video was put up later today by another user, it was again pulled. This time because of a copywrite claim by Seckbach. Not a good look for FanHouse or Seckbach.

This dude is such a fucking scumbag. First he puts plaster on his wraps and pretends like he didn't know it was under his gloves and now he's gonna try to pretend like he didn't know Freddie Roach has Parkinson's? Really? So who was he making fun of? Muhammad Ali?  Michael J. Fox? I fucking know he wasn't about to make fun of Marty McFly. Doc Brown wouldn't allow it.

Ouchies

This is Sexy.

Nov 11, 2010 - The Ronaldinho-to-Galaxy rumor refuses to die. Numerous outlets are saying the one-time Ballon d'Or winner has been offered $10 million a year to play for the Galaxy. The trouble is, all of them cite Italian newspaper La Gazzetta Dello Sport as the source of this rumor, but none of them link to the original article. Whether or not this is just more smoke (during the summer it was widely rumored Ronaldinho was poised to join the Galaxy before the start of the European season) obviously remains to be seen. What it does seem to indicate is the Galaxy remain very interested in acquiring the services of another one of the most famous players in the world.  There does seem to be some logic to the potential move. Ronaldinho could be acquired without having to pay a transfer fee, something MLS has rarely been willing to pay and has helped facilitate the signing of players like Thierry Henry and David Beckham. There's also a sense that Ronaldinho could benefit from a change of scenery. He hasn't played in either of AC Milan's last two games and has just seven Serie-A appearances this season with no goals and three assists.

Ronaldinho and Beckham on the same team? In America? You mean I wouldn't have to listen to Italian and watch those vagina's flop when I wanna see Ronaldinho play?