What The Fuck Is Tom Brady Wearing?

I appreciate a nice sweater as much as the next guy but what the fuck is that? Looks like something Darth Vader would rock to thanksgiving dinner. Just nothing appealing about this article of clothing. I mean is it that hard to look good? Throw a button down on with a skinny tie. Boom.

Down Goes Favre! Down Goes Favre!

No way in hell that was just a cut on his chin. I'm pretty sure we knocked the life out of that old bastard. I know I said I wanted Moss leaving the field on a stretcher but Favre being carted off and booed at the same time was just as sweet. I'm honestly giddy right now. Feel like Togs on prom night when his date asked him if he brought the condoms. HOW DOES OUR ASS TASTE?!?!?!

Who Had 24 Assists Last Night? RONDOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Rajon Rondo recorded his fifth career triple-double with 10 points, 10 rebounds and 24 assists during Boston's 105-101 win against the Knicks Friday night. The 24 assists are the second-most in a game in Celtics history (Bob Cousy had 28). Rondo's 50 assists through his first three games ties him with John Stockton for the most in NBA history through the first three games of a season. Rondo's 24 assists also tied Isiah Thomas for the most in a triple-double in NBA history. 


Ugh. That's filthy. Best Point guard in the league? Check.

I Told You I Didn't Like The Delonte West Signing

The Celtics took a bit of a risk when they decided to bring Delonte West back to the team for a second tour of duty this season. Besides the fact that West wouldn't even be able to play during the first 10 games of the season due to a league suspension for pleading guilty to multiple weapon charges in July, there was the possibility that West's emotional state could randomly force him to miss time, as it did with the Cavaliers last season. West's emotions got the better of him at Celtics' practice on Friday when he reportedly got into a physical altercation with teammate Von Wafer in the locker room after practice. According to the report from Hoopsworld, the problems began during the practice session, with West getting so physical with Wafer in a three-on-three game that Wafer left midway through and headed to the locker room. West approached Wafer from behind as Wafer sat at his locker and threw the first punch, with Wafer quickly responding by connecting two blows of his own before the two wrestled to the ground and had to be separated.  The reason for West's actions? According to Yahoo!'s Adrian Wojnarowski, West believed Wafer was responsible for an anonymous quote that said it was "obvious" when West hadn't taken his medicine. Whatever the reason, this may have been the last straw for West in Boston. This isn't the first time he's gotten into it with teammates this season, and the team is said to be tired of his confrontational attitude.  The Hoopsworld report goes on to say that after this latest incident, the Celtics are considering releasing West, who is on a non-guaranteed contract with Boston for this season. 

I thought it was funny how we picked up Delonte after he banged Lebron's mom but deep down I knew this wouldn't work. I've always hated Delonte West, even when he was a Celtics the first time around. Something about him turned me off. It's actually a fact that the first impression you have of somebody within the first 15 seconds you meet them is usually spot on. Maybe the way he carries himself or the herpes on his mouth or the fact that he looks like a hood rat was the red flag. I didn't know even know he was a nutjob who needed medication so that's actually explains a lot. The bottom line is he's an asshole who need to be put in his place. If you wanna start a fight then cool as long as the other guy wants to get into it also. But don't try to mix it up during practice, have the other guy walk away because he knows he would whoop your ass then go and give him a cheap shot when he's at his locker. That's a bitch move and a punk move and Boston is no place for bitches or punks. Who do these guys think they are? This isn't your own fucking playground in Harlem. We're trying to win a championship here. We don't need the last 2 guys off the bench duking it out as if they actually mean something to us. Cut them both.

I Want Papi Back

Red Sox designated hitter David Ortiz explained why he wouldn't be "comfortable" coming back to the Red Sox on just a one-year contract, saying that he wants to avoid the 'roller-coaster' and 'controversy' of last season. "To tell you the truth, like everybody knows, I want to be back, and I want to be here for a longer period of time. I'm just a little worn out because of the negativity that I've dealt with the last few years," Ortiz insisted. "I don't think there's any baseball player that can deal with all the distractions that I deal with and play baseball. It's hard. I'm not a super hero. I'm just another human being, like everyone else. I've got feelings. I want to give this team another World Series, and dealing with all the other crap with people telling you can't do it no more, or this and that, I have no room for that. Hopefully next week we'll sit down and make everyone happy." Ortiz said that his representatives will be sitting down with the Red Sox next week, saying, "I'm pretty sure in one of the meetings I'll be there myself." The Red Sox have until three days after the completion of the World Series to decide on whether or not they are going to pick up Ortiz' team option of $12.5 million for next season. Ortiz, who admitted his injured wrist still "wasn't right" when starting the 2009 season, is coming off his sixth 30-plus home run season of his career (32), the fifth-most in the American League. He was eighth in the AL in OPS (.899), while totaling the 10th-most RBI in the league (102).  "I'm starting to analyze my numbers later in my career, and that's because of the crap people talk about," he said. "But at the end of the day, I'm one of the best hitters in the game.

I don't care if Ortiz bats .135 for the rest of his career. I want him to finish in Boston and go into the hall of fame with our hat on but having said that, let's not waste all our energy on him. We still don't have anybody playing third base or catcher next season with Beltre and V-mart hitting free agency. So, yeah I want Ortiz back and I think he will be but he's like priority #4 at this point. Beltre, V-mart and then wining and dining with Carl Crawford. Crawford actually might be #1. And fuck the people who ask what we would do with Mike Cameron if we sign Crawford. Who the fuck cares what we do with Cameron? Throw him on the bench, cut him, let him dick around in Pawtucket. I don't care. He'll be happy to be getting paid at his age. Back to the Ortiz. All that dude does is bomb is motherfuckers for a living. That's it. You throw him up there to bat and hope he has ammo because all we want him to do is blow up little huts in Indonesia. Is money even a factor for Boston? I don't care when they say the Liverpool purchase had nothing to do with Red Sox money. If you want a player bad enough, John Henry will dig into his own pocket to sign someone. Sell Steven Gerrard if we have to. I want Carl, Papi, Beltre and V-mart all in our line-up next season. Start blowing people up like Kosovo.

How Dope Is This Picture?

Just imagine being there tonight. No jokes here, either. I really, really, really wish I was in San Francisco 90% of the time. Cool city, cool people. And that's even including the gays.

Best News All Day

DRESSED FOR SUCCESS: Throwback helmets and jerseys, which the Patriots will wear Sunday against the Minnesota Vikings, hang in their lockers yesterday. 

You know you have a sad, sad life when the best news all day is that the Pats are wearing the Pat Patriot uniforms on Sunday.  But I don't want that to take away from the fact how much I love these jerseys. I'm all for making these our permanent uniforms. So simple. So classy. So sexy.


P.S. I'm at the 441 song mark.

This is My Nightmare

This might be the darkest day I've ever had. Woke up this morning, got in my car to drive to school, flip on my iPod to listen to some jams and nothing. Absolutely nothing. iPod says there is currently no music on the device. Are you fucking kidding me? How do 4,000 songs just disappear into the night? They didn't get up and walk out because I would have heard those little fuckers. I keep my mp3 lady sitting right on my desk, next to laptop during the night. I don't think you understand how devastating this is. I save no music to my computer so when I come home, I plug my iPod in so it's always connected and I listen to music that way. How do you I'm able to bust out hilarious blogs all day? I got the likes of Pearl Jam, 2pac, Kanye and Barry Manilow fueling the fire. But now I have nothing but silence and I have to download all that music over again. That's 3 fucking years worth of music. And it's not like some shit is from a time in my life when I was into to a certain type of music. No. I turn on shuffle and let that baby play out whatever the fuck it wants. You can ask around. My iPod rocked the shit out of any other iPod around. I can't tell you how many times I've been told to bring it to a party because its soundtrack is like orgasm of the ear. I'm sad. I'm frustrated. I'm pissed off. I'm not blogging until I hit the 1,000 song mark.

Sean Avery Scores His First Goal Of The Year

That's a hustle play and hustle goal made by a hustle player. That's all it was. One little guy out working everybody else out on the ice. You won't see Sellberg pull that shit off in HBMHL. Kid thinks he's Sidney Crosby or something, dangling his stick all over the place, smacking one timers into the recycle bin and texting on his blackberry. But me? Oh yeah. I'll grinding 24/7, getting the puck to our big money players and mixing it up with the other goons. As well all know, when the you're talking about me and any other player in the league, the story ends with them going through a wall.

First Syracuse Football Post Of The Year? Ever?

I've watched Uconn play and I've watched Syracuse and all I have to say is this about the Orange. God damn. We're pretty fucking good. Nothing too pretty on offense but the defense is just mean on the Syracuse side. Almost as ugly as the city itself. We're sitting at 5-2, I'm looking at the schedule right now and I don't see why we can't finish 9-3. I don't know if that's a testament to how improved Syracuse is or how bad the rest of the league is. We already played Pitt and West Virginia and Cincy this saturday might be our last big test. I really just wanna beat Boston College. I hate Boston College. How's the ACC treating you? Must be nice.

My Wife Keeping It Real.

Obviously supporting her man like a good bitch does.

Favre Unsure If He Wants To Get Smacked By New England On Sunday

EDEN PRAIRIE, Minn. -- Brett Favre is not ruling himself out of Sunday's game at New England despite two fractures in his left ankle.  "I'm willing to give it a try," Favre said of attempting to play. Favre wore a large, gray walking boot on his left leg to the podium for his regular news conference on Wednesday, and said he doesn't anticipate participating in a full practice this week. The Minnesota quarterback said he's always had a knack for healing quickly, which gives him hope he'll be back when the Vikings (2-4) play the Patriots (5-1). "If I'm going to play, I want to play the whole game and give us a chance to win," Favre, 41, said Wednesday. Favre was hurt in Sunday's loss to Green Bay, and an MRI revealed a stress fracture in the ankle as well as an "avulsion" fracture in the heel bone, where a fragment has been torn away by a tendon or ligament. He doesn't need surgery, and he said after consulting with doctors he's confident he can't make the injury worse by playing. 

Classic Brett Favre move here. Don't call yourself out of a game early in the week so you can get your other QB ready but make the media hang on your every word and let the drama play out of whether you will or won't play until kickoff.  Do Viking fans seriously like him? Are they that pathetic? He's pretty much butt fucking their entire season all by himself. You ask any Viking fan this summer who was going to win the Super Bowl and they would say they would as long as #4 came back. And I laughed and they called me stupid and adorable and that I had eyes the color of sky and a homer for the Pats and blah, blah, blah. Well now what the fuck's up? About to go 2-5, your QB has a broken ankle and you know Randy Moss is about ready to have a meltdown again. He doesn't like losing. He didn't do that much when we had him in New England because we got this guy who threw him the ball named Tom Terrific. You should look him up. Probably find his name linked with MVP and 3 Super Bowl rings. I'm not sure though so do it for me. I honestly cannot wait until Sunday. I have this hate for the Vikings and I have no idea why. Maybe it's Childress running his mouth about Belichick but I don't know. I got a lot of hate in my heart and I'll pretty much aim it anybody who gives me a bad look.  Something I can talk about with my therapist, Dr. Scott Boucher in our next session perhaps.


P.S. The Giants couldn't hold even sniff our jock straps either. The NFC is like the Big East of college football.

Brian Wilson Is a Weird Motherfucker

I don't know if this makes you root for the Giants more or kind of freaks you out. Seems like something I would do on national television though so I'm all for San Fran. Very excited for game 1 tonight.


P.S. I honestly have nothing today. I feel like a closer who pitched a shutout on Monday, went out again on Tuesday, threw straight gas and then today woke up and couldn't feel his shoulder.

Rajon Rondo Sticks It To The Man

If you have been following the Boston Celtics through the preseason, you might have realized that their star point guard, Rajon Rondo, isn’t donning his trademark upside down headband these days. The owner of the Celtics, Wyc Grousbek, suggests the absence of the upside down headband is due to new rules sanctioned by the NBA that prohibits players from flaunting an upside down logo SportingNews.com reports. An NBA spokesman reportedly confirmed that “updated league uniform rules don’t allow players to flip over headbands with the NBA’s logo stiched in.” YahooSports reports that, a few years ago, the NBA started issuing teams headbands with the NBA logo on them–sort of a constant advertisement as viewers watch their favorite players. It seemed to be a great way to continually staple the image of the NBA logo to minds everywhere (almost literally). Certain players like Rajon Rondo and J.R. Smith reportedly wear their headbands upside down as a sort of “sticking-it-to-the-man” statement.

Classic case of "you wanna fuck me? Well fuck you." Rondo is such a little badass and I think that's what draws me to him the most. He just doesn't give a fuck. He's gonna run the plays that he wants, take the ball to the hole whenever he feels like and if you tell him to he has to wear his headband the right way, well fuck you and here's your headband back.

Hey Bitches. We're Up 15 At The Half. HOW FUCKING BRILLIANT AM I?!?!

Marquis Daniels. The NBA's best kept secret. We're fucking killing it tonight just as I'm absolutely crushing blogs this week and it's only Tuesday. Hold on to your dicks. It's gonna be a wild year.

NFL Tribute Video To Ed Hochuli

"No lion would hunt this zebra." Fucking classic.

Lebron James Must Die. Tonight.

It's finally here. 7:30 PM. If you're not watching the game tonight then I don't know what's wrong with you. Might wanna check your trousers to make sure you still have testicles. Unless you're a female. Then Glee is on at 8 PM. That's tomorrow's television, though. I think I was a little too harsh when I said I hope Meriweather murders Randy Moss. I just hope he paralyzes him from the waste down so he can't use his dick and legs anymore. But Lebron James must die. I mean death. Shaq needs to body slam that motherfucker into the hardwood to save him from himself.

P.S. Don't be shocked if we're up by 15 at the half tonight. Our bench is filthy. 

Typical New Yorkers.

Fans' treatment of Cliff Lee's wife at Yankee Stadium might not help recruitment of one of the game's top left-handed pitchers. During the AL Championship Series games in New York between the Yankees and Rangers, fans were extremely rude to Kristen Lee, spitting and throwing beer in her direction and shouting obscenities, according to USA Today.  Lee starts Game 1 of the World Series against the San Francisco Giants on Wednesday after helping Texas beat New York in the ALCS in six games. But there has been widespread speculation that the Yankees will make a serious run at signing Lee when he becomes a free agent after the season. The reported incidents could not have helped that cause. "The fans did not do good things in my heart," Kristen Lee said, according to the newspaper. "When people are staring at you, and saying horrible things, it's hard not to take it personal."

Yankee fans are the worst. The absolute worst and now it seems they're a little stupid,  too. Just look at the history of free agents signing with the Yankees and it usually has had something to do with the wifey wanting to move to New York. Texeira's wife wanted New York over Boston and Damon's wife was a stripper who thrived in the NY spotlight. Make no mistake about it, baseball wive's wear the pants in every relationship, so the fans may have thought they were threatening Lee's wife but they were really talking to Cliff because at the end of the day she's making the decision. And let's not forget about the bravery the Yankee fans showed here. Taunting a woman? Really? That's the best you can do? I've always said you don't talk shit to a female or anyone under the age of 15. Cardinal rules of mixing it up.

Manny Still Thinks People Want Him

ORLANDO -- With Red Sox pitching coach John Farrell about to take over as manager of the Blue Jays, soon-to-be free agent Manny Ramirez praised the hiring and listed Toronto as a possible landing spot.  "John has tremendous knowledge of the game, a very pleasant man and he trains ball players," Ramirez said in a telephone interview with ESPNdeportes.com from his Miami home. "Toronto has made a great acquisition. Farrell is a manager for whom I would like to play, and Toronto is a team I've liked since they had all those Dominican players in the 80's," Ramirez continued. Farrell, 48, has been the Red Sox pitching coach since 2007, when the team won their second championship in four years with Ramirez in the heart of the order.Los Angeles Dodgers and Chicago White Sox in a season in which he was limited to 265 at-bats due to injuries.  Ramirez, 38, will be a free agent after the World Series. He batted .298 with nine home runs and 42 RBIs in 2010 while playing for the

Manny Ramirez is like that super hot chick in high school that everybody wanted but she kinda relegated herself to one guy(definitely not donahue or togs). Then she goes off to college and completely trashes herself in like 4 different ways. She gains weight, maybe picks up a bad weed habit, has sex with random dudes on the reg and becomes hooked on some art bullshit. Thanksgiving break or summer comes around after freshman year and she thinks all the hometown bros still want her ass except now we're all looking at a chubby chick who's stoned and eating taco bell with a weird emo piercing in her nose. She's like "heyyyy let's hang!" and you're just like "uhhh we'll call you. You don't call us. We'll call you." That's Manny and the rest of the MLB right now. He thinks he can have any team on command and everybody else says something like, "Great to see ya. We'll let ya know." He's been passed around by anyone who wanted him and you don't pass around good girls. You pass around whores at 12:30 AM when your other three calls didn't work out. I certainly don't want Manny. He's kinda like Randy Moss to me in the way that I liked them when they were here but I knew deep down they didn't totally love me so I wasn't going to invest my time in them. Nomar is a different story. I'll put him in the 4th spot even he's 50. You don't just throw away first loves. He loved me. I  loved him. The end.

Greatest Work Fight Ever Recorded On Facebook? (Click On Picture To Enlarge It)

At first, I was thinking it was a real job like she has to be nice because it's some sort of public relations shit. Ya know, like something respectable that you could throw down on a resume. Not so fast my friends. It seems here we have some rather odd looking chicks battling over their job performance. At a Dunkin Donuts. Let me repeat that. Job performance at Dunkin' Donuts. Not a corporate building but a store where the job requires you to A) take orders, B) pour coffee, C) be able to count money D) toast a bagel and maybe throw some cream cheese on there if you're feeling saucy. That's it. I don't know how you fit sexual harassment in there but let's move on.

Adam Foley gets himself back into the ring because he "still get it in" and we shouldn't worry about he "be lookin" cause the other girls looks like someone beat her with a bag of doorknobs. The intelligence in this conversation here is mind blowing.Where do they go to schoo? Oh..

I don't believe this Nicole character when she says she doesn't care about some dude grabbing on her tit when she goes for the ice coffee. You just start calling girls whores if you don't have some hidden animosity deep down in your soul. Like the great ryan dubois says, "stop talking about it and be about it cunt." Stay, classy. Who the fuck are these kids?

Adam Foley has been on the streets since 1998. That's 12 years(I had to do the math for him). And hey, bro. We have a word for guys who have been on the streets for 12 years. It's called homeless. We also have a word for your plan of giving her herpes when you see her. It's called rape.

P.S. Shopping sprees at Goodwill don't really count as shopping sprees when your using the old monopoly money you found in the garbage behind your crack den. 

Is Nike Serious?

I'm all about Nike. I actually refuse to wear any other brand of sneaker but what are they thinking here? Did they not learn how creepy and pathetic that Tiger Woods commercial was? Leave the voice over work for Michael Jordan. He's the only one we listen to.

My Computer Screen Is Burning With The Evil In This Picture

Can't you just feel the slime coming through this picture? Sickening but they deserve each other. Two big money players who swallow their dicks when it's crunch time. I know A-roid has 1 ring but didn't he record the last out of the ALCS with the bat on his shoulder? And didn't Lebron quit in game 5 against the Celtics because Delonte West was porking his mom then moved to Miami where he didn't have to be the main man anymore? Real stand up guys.

Brett Favre Sucks. The State Of Minnesota Sucks. Tom Brady Rules. New England Rules

When's the last time Brett Favre won a close game? How do people in Minnesota survive? The Vikings suck. The Twins choke on their own cocks every October, The Timberwolves haven't had a winning season since we stole KG and the Wild might be the most forgotten hockey team and hockey is already the most forgotten sport in the country. Not to mention how's the weather up there this time of year? I mean just kill yourselves. In the words of Colin Cowherd, "take and ice pick and jam it in your eyes." Then we have Tom Terrific. When's the last time he won a close game? Oh, yesterday and the week before that against Baltimore. The Bruins are solid, Celtics are going for banner #18 this season and the Sox are currently courting Carl Crawford over some steak and eggs. What this all boils down to is we're going to absolutely crush the shit out of Favre and the Vikings next week on Halloween. I have no doubt in my mind about that. Minnesota is god awful and every game it's only a matter of time before Favre blows it and I wonder how that must feel for a fan base. That your QB and #1 asset is the reason why you're 2-4. It's kinda like the south in the Civil War. They talked a big game and once they got into it, they kinda realized they were gonna get slapped the fuck off the planet but they had to keep fighting because it would look bad if they just quit 6 weeks in. That's Brett Favre. He thought he was superman but he's really a 40 year old guy with one ankle, a bad elbow, a sexual harassment case over his head and a really, really bad head coach.



P.S. I hope Brandon Meriweather murders Randy Moss next week. I'm talking about him leaving the field on a stretcher and giving the crowd a thumbs down.

11 Year Old Thinks He's Latarian Milton Or Something

MARION, S.C. -- An 11-year-old boy led a dozen police cars in pursuit as he "drove in circles" around this small South Carolina town on a joy ride, the first of two this week that landed him in juvenile jail, police said Thursday. The youngster, a fourth-grade student, was not identified because of his age. Marion Police Lt. Farmer Blue said the boy is accused of driving off Monday evening in a fire department pickup truck that had been parked after an exercise near a training area. "He put us on a real chase," Blue said in a telephone interview. "We had a line of cars after him." Blue said the youngster led officers on a 45-minute chase around the city Monday evening, never exceeding 45 mph during a pursuit that stayed within Marion limits. "He blew through stop signs. He drove in circles," Blue said. The boy stopped only after he'd driven by his home several times and his mother recognized him when she came out to see what was going on, according to the officer. "He stopped after his mother jumped in front of the truck," Blue added. Blue said the boy, who was released to his family, drove off the next day in an SUV reported missing from a restaurant near the youngster's home. "I spotted him about two blocks from he lives, and he led us on a 45-minute chase again," Blue said. "He said he just got tired of walking and wanted a ride."

Well I hope the police department learned their lesson. Yes, the police department. You don't chase after some 11 year old kid for 45 minutes and let him get away with a simple slap and the wrists then think he won't go out and do hood rat things with his fiends the next day. You wanna do some damage control then you put the fear of God in his eyes and make sure he never acts up again.  I'm talking hell in a cell type shit. Mankind Vs. The Undertaker at the Royal Rumble. Throw him in an isolated box and make him sweat until he cracks and only then do you bring him out to the interrogation room where there's one single spotlight and a guy named Hector waiting for him with leather gloves. I'll let your imagination take it from there but something tells me that 11 year old little fucker won't be able to sit down in a driver's seat for weeks.

There's Something Very 2004 Red Sox About The Giants

PHILADELPHIA -- No one can say the San Francisco Giants took the easy path to the World Series.
They had to wait until the final day to clinch a playoff spot, then had to wait through a tense final out in Philadelphia.Brian Wilson, Cody Ross and the Giants can exhale. Now they'll try to bring the first crown to San Francisco. Juan Uribe hit a tiebreaking homer off Ryan Madson with two outs in the eighth inning and the Giants held off the Phillies 3-2 Saturday night in Game 6 of the NL championship series."We had such a diversity of contributions from everybody," Giants manager Bruce Bochy said. "Not bad for a bunch of castoffs and misfits."Ross, the unlikely MVP, and the pitching-rich Giants reached the World Series for the first time since 2002 and will host the Texas Rangers in Game 1 on Wednesday night.

Just a bunch of scrappy, goofy ballplayers who many people had written off a while ago. You got the unwanted left overs from other teams coming up huge like Cody Ross(David Ortiz), Juan Uribe(Bill Mueller), Pat Burrell(Kevin Millar) Freddy Sanchez(Mark Bellhorne). Then the bonafide stars like Buster Posey(Manny Ramirez), Tim Lincecum(Curt Schilling), Matt Caine(Pedro Martinze), a dominating closer in Brian Wilson(Keith Foulke), and surprisingly steady bullpen of no-names. I don't know. It's something special. Not to mention they play in one of the best playoff stadiums like Fenway or Wrigley. Hard to not love and root for these dudes.

I'd Go To War With Sean Avery

Just 4 minutes 20 seconds into the Rangers’ 3-2 victory Saturday night, Bruins defenseman Mark Stuart caught Rangers forward Ruslan Fedotenko with his head down in the neutral zone and flattened him with a check that came pretty close to Fedotenko’s head and neck. No penalty was called. An instant later, Sean Avery jumped Stuart, and the two traded punches in a short but furious fight. Avery received an extra 2 minutes for instigation and a 10-minute misconduct, but he acted according to the game’s unwritten code, which calls for immediate payback for practically any perceived transgression. Neither Avery nor Mark Stuart spoke to reporters afterward. But Rangers Coach John Tortorella said he “liked the way we protect each other.” He added, “I have no problem with what Sean did.” 

The part I like most is that it didn't even seem like Avery thought about it. He sees his brother get head a little high above the shoulders and his primal instinct takes over. And what's Jack Edwards' deal? Every time the Rangers play Boston he trashes Avery. He calls him a pussy because he got in the last punch while Stuart was falling down? OK. Avery is also like 5'7'' and didn't even think twice about going at Stuart, who has a good 5 inches on him so you tell me who the pussy was.

Roenick Headed To The Hall

BUFFALO, N.Y. — Funny, emotional and also humbled, Jeremy Roenick showed Thursday night that he could be as colorful and outspoken in retirement as he was during his 20-year NHL career. During a 20-minute U.S. Hockey Hall of Fame induction speech, the player many know as "J.R." hailed USA Hockey for growing into a "world super power," thanked NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman, who was in attendance, for "letting me be me," and put to rest any bad blood he ever had with fellow inductee Derian Hatcher. "Wow, what a night," Roenick said. "This award means everything to me."

Brady, We Got Some Work To Do!

As reported by rgj.com, Stewie, a five-year-old Maine Coon, was officially pronounced the longest cat in the world by Guinness World Records. He measures a little over 4 feet from nose to tail. The owners are Robin Hendrickson and Erik Brandsness of Reno.

Kind of terrifying if you ask me. Like I know if things get heated, I can kick the shit out of my cat but I don't know about a 4 foot cat. That's like a mini cougar and we all know I'm a sucker for cougars. In the words of the great philanthroper, Snooki, "If it starts humping my leg, I'm not gonna tell it to get off." I'm talking about a female cougar here or a very attractive older woman, not a large cat. I just wanna make that clear.

Favre's Wife Relying on The Gods

NEW YORK -- Deanna Favre says her religious faith and an outward focus are helping her overcome the allegations of improper behavior that have been leveled against her husband, Brett. Deanna Favre was interviewed Thursday on "Good Morning America" about a book she co-authored with Shane Stanford called "The Cure for the Chronic Life," which is about getting past hard times and patterns of unhealthy behavior. During the interview, Deanna was asked how she's handling the accusations against Brett Favre, who is being investigated by the NFL for allegedly sending suggestive messages and lewd photos to a woman who worked for the New York Jets. "I'm handling this through faith," Deanna Favre said. She did not address whether the allegations against her husband are true or false.


Really? Handling this through faith? First Tiger Woods got way from his Buddhist roots and starting slamming white girls and now Deanna Favre is relying on faith to get her through her husband sexting his dick to young girls? Really? What the fuck is praying gonna do? You think the NFL is going to ignore a creepy old guy trying to seduce a hot bitch because you're praying to Jesus? Listen hunny, I know Jesus. Jesus is a friend of mine.  And JC doesn't look very kindly on people who continually harass young employees or furiously masturbate on stools.


P.S. How is nobody talking about how Jenn Sterger looks like a younger version of Favre's wife? And they still they don't know if it was Favre who sent the photos? Seriously?

P.P.S. I think I'm in love with her.

This NBA Season Needs To Start Now

Celtics center Shaquille O'Neal decided today is the day he'll spend an hour in Harvard Square as a "statue." Shaq sent a message to his followers on Twitter that he would be at Harvard Square this afternoon. He had previously announced that he planned to pose as a statue and allow fans to photograph him and pose with him, but he wouldn't speak.

Pretty awesome. I never thought I'd say this but I'm starting to love Shaq and I think he's gonna play a key role in this year's title run. Maybe his personality didn't mesh with Lebron because he's an asshole and Kobe raped a girl but he fits in perfect with this Boston squad. Just a bunch of bat shit crazy black dudes who love basketball, winning rings and hanging with the public.

Best Beard Ever.

SAN FRANCISCO — That Brian Wilson decided to grow a bushy beard and dye it black did not come as a surprise to the people who remember him growing up in Londonderry, N.H.  Wilson would wear shorts to school in the dead of winter and Londonderry High basketball coach Mike Beeman can still recall him painting his bare legs the colors of the opposing teams on game nights. Why? Nobody thought to ask. Wilson was just one of those kids. “He probably thought that would intimidate the other team,’’ Beeman said. “I’ll be honest; his antics gave me a few of my gray hairs. He was always doing things like that.’’ Now the record-setting closer of the San Francisco Giants, Wilson is quickly becoming the biggest celebrity on a team of spare parts that is somehow three games away from the World Series.

Brian Wilson is on some civil war shit.  That beard would even make Ulysses S. Grant blush a bit. Maybe not Stonewall but definitely Ulysses. The only thing I don't like about Brian Wilson is he tries to be too cool and too bad ass. I don't like a guy who tries to be cooler than the rest of the room. You walk into a party and you either have it or you don't and you end up looking like an asshole if you try to show you have it. I mean you can obtain it but you can't go out and get it yourself. Definitely can't buy it.  It just comes to you naturally and once it's lost, it's gone forever and you might spend the rest of your life trying to find it. Example: I have it. Togs doesn't. Mark Sanchez has it. Chad Henne doesn't. Tom Brady has enough to feed a family. A-roid wouldn't know what it was if it smacked him in the face.

Cody Endres Must Be Some Kind of Asshole

UConn quarterback Cody Endres has been suspended for the rest of the season for a violation of University policies.  The announcement comes a day after guard Eric Kuraczea left the program for personal reasons.  Both players were suspended for 30 days in August for an unspecified violation of team rules, which matched university suspension lengths for a failed drug test.  Both had started the last two games.

All this does is prove to me what I knew all along. There hasn't been a QB at that school that can even sniff Tyler Lorenzen's jockstrap.  Too big, too athletic, too good, too beautiful, makes a mean hot dog. That's what every college coach wrote on their scouting report. Endres must drink himself into a coma every night knowing that he'll  never live up #4's legacy. What a dickhead. 

I'm gonna walk around with "put an egg on it" written on my palms.

Somebody Should Tell Sandra Bullock There Was a Mix Up At Daycare

Even the little puppy is confused by this picture. Cute kid, though. Just make sure you return it back to its tribe by sundown. That's the witching hour I'm told.

Relax, Bro. You Can't Go Pushing Fans

I don't know a ton about Vancouver or the Canucks but I fucking hate them. They always seem to come off as a bunch of punks. One day they're poking Sean Avery with a stick and next they're shoving fans for clapping. Stay classy, Canada.

Must Be Nice Being a Yankee Fan. Oh. Wait.

I've seen this scenario play out before. Your team is down 3-0 or 3-1 and you come back to win it because your team was the better one all along. It's possible. If that team was Boston and not New York because don't get it twisted, bitches. Texas is the better squad in this series. They are absolutely crushing the Yankees in every statistical category and should have probably swept them by now if it wasn't for that game 1 flub job. But I mean it's possible for the Yanks to come back. All you gotta do is win 3 in a row and then beat Cliff Lee in game 7 on his home turf so you got that going for you which is nice. So now cue all the Yankee fans talking about their 27 championships and how they at least limped into the playoffs and the Sox have been playing golf for weeks now and blah, blah, blah. Ok. It's an effective argument if your team is on the verge of winning a world series but in reality it's like you're telling me you're the better man because you went to the prom and got dumped and puked on while I was home and free of all that humiliation. Texas Rangers and George W. Bush just took a huge shit on the chest of every Yankee and us Red Sox fans have been watching Tom Terrific kill it on a weekly basis now for 6 weeks. Fact.

I Just Became a Huge Glee Fan

This isn't just bringing the noise. This is bringing the entire storm. The wind, the lightning, the thunder and the rain to wash any pain away that you previously had. Hoo-rah, indeed. Go get coach neil's stool.

Is Lebron James Serious With These Sneakers?

Those are gross and gross in the way I throw up in my mouth whenever I see the skin of a fat chick's neck blow in the wind

Who The Fuck Is Cody Ross and Why Is He Such an Animal?

Giants up 2-1 in the series and it's because of their pitching staff and Cody Ross. Nobody else but Cody Ross.

Probably The Biggest Story In The World

LONDON -- Wayne Rooney's desire to walk out on Manchester United has left the Premier League club facing the loss of a third world-class attacker in two years. Manager Alex Ferguson said Tuesday he was "dumbfounded" at Rooney's decision not to enter into negotiations about extending his contract beyond the summer of 2012. "We just don't know what's changed the boy's mind... I was shocked," Ferguson said. "I had a meeting with the boy and he reiterated what his agent had said. He wanted to go."  Rooney has become most marketable asset at United since the acquisition of Portugal forward Cristiano Ronaldo to Real Madrid for $125 million in June 2009. The same summer, Carlos Tevez left the 18-time champions to join cross-town rival Manchester City, one of the few clubs that would be able to afford the wages the 24-year-old Rooney will demand.

If I'm Wayne Rooney and there was even a chance that I'd change my mind and stay in Man U, it's out the window after reading this. Did Alex Ferguson really call him a boy? Like a child? Or a fucking slave? I don't care if you're the greatest manager in premier league history. When your star player is thinking about leaving then you start referring to him as master and order him up some more hookers. You don't treat him like an immature asshole that everybody already perceives him to be. And you know Rooney isn't going to the spanish or Italian leagues because that's not his game. He's good but he doesn't have a pretty game that involves flopping. Manchester City would be crazy. Think Kobe Bryant telling the Lakers to trade him to their ugly step-sister in the Clippers or Derek Jeter signing with the Mets and then multiply it by 10. That's how big of a deal this is everywhere but here.

The Horse Was Giving Him Bedroom Eyes

SHELTON, Conn. -- A Shelton man has been charged with sexual assault in an incident involving a horse, police said. Shelton police said officers were called to Partridge Lane Monday evening for reports of a man inappropriately touching a horse. Police said the caller said the man appeared to be touching the horse in a sexual manner and that the horse appeared to be in pain. Police said Marian Wegiel, 63, was found in the corral when officers arrived. Police said Wegeil told officers he was comforting the horses after they were scared by a loud noise. Police said Wegiel told them his fingers may have inadvertently gone inside one of the horses.Shelton police said a veterinarian was called to inspect the horses.Wegiel was charged with cruelty to animals, sexual assault in the fourth degree, criminal trespass and breach of peace. He was released on a $500 bond and is scheduled to appear in Derby Court on Nov. 1.

What's sexual assault in the fourth degree? A little touch and feel that hints at the fact you wanna play ball but if the other person would rather sit on the bench it's cool because you just wanted to float the option out there with your finger bang? That sounds a little more serious than playing just the tip. I just don't know how you can defend this in the court of law. Old man river walks into a corral, trips and ends up with his fist in a horse's ass? Like he fucking dropped his car keys through the tip of his dick or something?  Or maybe like Brett Favre had his phone stolen, then the thief took a picture of his dick and sent it to the same girl Favre has been calling all week. That type of shit has to happen everyday for it to be valid and that my friends is what you would call a precedent. Ya, I took Business Law and passed. And let's be honest for a second. I think you'd rather be caught inappropriately touching a horse rather than outside of your neighbors window, on a stool, furiously masturbating and wearing a "property of The Situation" muscle shirt. I swear that last part was in the court documents. He's a huge J-Shore fan.

Mandatory Blog Post. If 3 People Send It To Me, It's Mandatory.

People probably think I'm gonna make fun of the because he has a bad case of the gay and he's a bieber fan but guess again. This is how I feel when cocksuckers wanna bash on Tom Brady or David Beckham. This kid has balls in every sense of the word. And I apologize for the previous statement about him having the gay because he's not gay. He's in between, he thought he was gay but then he found out he's not gay but he doesn't really know so he might, maybe be a gay. I mean he's still young so he'll see if he's gay. But idolizing Justin Bieber is very, very gay so that should be something go off of.


P.S. He's standing strong. Fuck your metal music.

"Glee" Covers GQ Magazine

Oh mylanta. "Glee's" Lea Michele and Dianna Agron are on the cover of the November issue of GQ magazine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I realize Cory Monteith is also on the cover but I'm pretty sure no one is paying any attention to him. They have the slutty classy look down to a science. After learning that the set of "Glee" is like one big giant orgy and then seeing these pictures it actually inspired me to take singing lessons. Oh, and go back to high school.

When my roommates (no, not my parents) started watching "Glee" last year I hated it at first. I thought it was the second worst show on t.v., after American Idol. After the first season ended I decided to give it a chance and watched all the episodes. I was hooked, but it was the kind of hooked that you only do alone while making sure no one is watching or knows about it. Speaking of which, why am I even saying this? The second season's plot has not been nearly as good as the first but with a rumored Taylor Swift episode in the works things are looking up.

The show has gotten pretty racy awesome lately, complete with lesbian sex scenes and as long as it keeps producing things like this photo shoot I'll keep paying attention to it.

*Click to enlarge*

Taylor Swift Releases New Song "Mean" (with Audio & Lyrics)

We are only a week away from Taylor Swift's 3rd album, "Speak Now", being released and an hour ago she released another song. This one is called "Mean" and people think it could become the theme song/rallying cry for the growing anti-bullying campaign. Although there are a ton of people who love TSwizzle there are a lot that can't stand her. In the song she basically calls out the people who are "mean" to her and talks about how she handles it. In the video below she explains that the song is geared toward one person in particular, saying, "and there's one guy, man, who just crossed the line over and over again just being mean and just saying things that would ruin my day."

The song is definitely a lot more country than her recent songs and I welcome the change. I probably don't have to keep saying this when I post a new Taylor Swift song but, as usual, the song is extremely catchy and has a great chorus. Audio, lyrics and a video of Taylor explaining the song are below. The song was released on iTunes - buy it here.

You, with your words like knives and swords and weapons that you use against me
You, have knocked me off my feet again, got me feeling like a nothing
You, with your voice like nails on a chalk board calling me out when I’m wounded
You, picking on the weaker man
You can take me down, with just one single blow
But you don’t know, what you don’t know

Someday, I’ll be living in a big ole city
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean, why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your switching sides and your wildfire lies and your humiliation
You, have pointed out my flaws again as if I don’t already see them
I walk with my head down tryna block you out, cause I’ll never impress you
I just wanna feel okay again

I bet you got pushed around, somebody made you cold
But the cycle ends right now, cause you can’t lead me down that road
And you don’t know, what you don’t know

Someday, I’ll be living in a big ole city
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean, why you gotta be so mean?

And I can see you years from now in a bar talking over a football game
With that same big loud opinion but nobody’s listening
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things

Drunk and rumbling on about how I can’t sing, but all you are is mean
All you are is mean, and a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life,
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

But someday, I’ll be living in a big ole city
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean. Yeah
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean, why you gotta be so mean?
Someday, I’ll be living in a big ole city
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean, why you gotta be so mean?

Gotta Get My Hands On These

The new Kobe Zoom VI's. Dope. As. Fuck. That should be the slogan for these sneakers. Either that or "rape a white girl and have everybody forget about it." Really can't lose with those two ads.

Laser Tag Gets Real For Justin Bieber

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police are investigating reports that a 12-year-old boy was punched in the face by Bieber, 16, while playing laser tag in Richmond, British Columbia, on Friday just before 5:30 p.m., reports the Vancouver Sun.  According to a statement by police about the assault allegations, the boy sustained minimal injuries and did not require medical attention at the time of the incident.  But Bieber supporters are coming to the pop sensation's defense, saying that he was, well, just defending himself in the spirit of the game after he found himself at the center of a full-fledged laser tag attack.  "Like any other kid playing laser tag, he just bolted right through the pack of kids and accidently hit one of the 12-year-old kids around the face area," Canadian blogger Zack Taylor, who first reported on the incident, told the Today Show on Monday.  And perhaps there was more to the attack than laser shots: According to the Today Show, reports have also alleged that Bieber may be the latest victim of bullying, saying the other players were taunting Bieber with homophobic remarks.  Staff members at the arcade told Taylor that Bieber admitted to police that he may have accidently pushed the boy while running away, and police let him go at the time of the incident.

You really can't make this shit up but I can totally see it happening.  Listen, laser tag aint a game. Laser tag is fucking war as far as I'm concerned and you gotta go in there with your head on a swivel at all times. And if you get called out by one of your competitors? So be it, that's the art of war. You can't bolt through a pack of kids like it's some guerilla warfare and start acting like a jackass. Plus what was he doing with a bunch of 12 year old kids? He's really gonna get pissed off because a 6th grader called him a faggot? I've been called names in laser tag but you don't see me getting arrested or throwing hay makers at toddlers because society frowns upon that. You know what society doesn't frown upon? Victory and that's exactly where the story ends when you're talking about me and simulated warfare.

TB12 Gives Baltimore The Business

On Terrell Suggs' postgame comments, including saying Baltimore will beat New England if they meet again in the playoffs: TB: "Well, he had his chance so maybe if he gets another chance he can try to back those words up. We play those guys a lot and they've only beat us one time in all the times that I've played them. So they talk a lot for beating us once in nine years."

Game, set, match. How do the Ravens respond to that one? I don't think you can. I mean when you get served, you get served. It would be like Japan telling us now we were really going to get it after we dropped the atomic bomb on them.

Huge Fucking Win. HUGE.

In the words of Joe Biden, "Don't get it twisted, bitch. This is a huge fucking deal." Don't let anyone say regular season games aren't big because this was one was about as big we're gonna get this year. Everywhere you look it was somebody saying our offense was a question mark now and our defense was too young and inexperienced. Well what the fuck just happened? Tom Brady and Deion Branch hooking up like it's 2005, shutdown defense in the 4th quarter and it was all against a team that many picked to win the Superbowl. I mean Deion Branch had more catches in this one game than Randy Moss had all season in New England. Shhhh you hear that? I'm feeling good vibrations.



P.S. If we lost this game, Aaron Hernandez would have had his head knocked off by the morning.