Brady, We Got Some Work To Do!

As reported by rgj.com, Stewie, a five-year-old Maine Coon, was officially pronounced the longest cat in the world by Guinness World Records. He measures a little over 4 feet from nose to tail. The owners are Robin Hendrickson and Erik Brandsness of Reno.

Kind of terrifying if you ask me. Like I know if things get heated, I can kick the shit out of my cat but I don't know about a 4 foot cat. That's like a mini cougar and we all know I'm a sucker for cougars. In the words of the great philanthroper, Snooki, "If it starts humping my leg, I'm not gonna tell it to get off." I'm talking about a female cougar here or a very attractive older woman, not a large cat. I just wanna make that clear.