Sunday, August 1, 2010

Jersey Shore Season 2 Breakdown

-Show opens up with a snow storm. Apparently it was called "Snowmageddon." I must've missed that one.

-Pan to Pauly D in his car. "You can't tan in this weatha, can't creep in this weatha, you can't do anything. Girls don't come out in this weatha." I got a feeling that Pauly is gonna be on the top of our quote board again.

-Snooki says she found an amazing guerilla juice head named Emilio. He looks scrumptious. She doesn't wanna cheat but throw her a bottle of Soco and it's fair game. She's like the 2007 version of me. 

-Snooki says McCain wouldn't put a tax on tanning because he's pale but Obama did because he's black and doesn't need tanning. Border line racist comment? Check.

-Snooki climbing into her seat was adorable. 

-It's like The Situation and Pauly D are on steroids in every aspect of their life. Arms are huge and they have brand new egos to go with it. They just don't give a fuck at this point because they're legitimately famous. Fantastic television.

- I'm gonna try and pretend that the Ronnie/Sammi relationship fiasco doesn't exist in this season. However, a single Ronnie in the club is hilarious.

-P.S. I'm not too solid on climates and all that but I'm relatively positive that Miami sucks ass in the winter. Like it's Seattle type weather. Cool and rainy. Which is why we're gonna see them in the club every fucking episode. MTV just cashed that check.

-Ronnie used the C word on Sammi. You can't say that word. Even I don't say that word. Just too dirty.

-"His name is Ronnie but you can prolly call him sloppy joe." -Situation on Ronnie.

-I don't wanna watch these guys chill out at the house all day. Give me 60 minutes of Ronnie dancing on stripper poles and The Situation making faces in the club.

-"I'm putting Vaseline on my face, putting my hair up and beating the crap out of her." -Jwoww. Vaseline? Does she have a cut guy ready in her corner too?

-This is the worst Jersey Shore post ever. I'm gonna stop trying. 

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