AC Milan Just Got Scary. Really, Really Scary

Robinho has ended his disappointing stay at Manchester City and moved to AC Milan on a four-year deal. Milan vice-president Adriano Galliani has confirmed that the transfer fee is an initial €18 million (£15m) plus bonuses and add-ons - a clear loss for City on the British record transfer fee splashed out to Real Madrid two years ago. Despite the huge investment made by City to sign him, Robinho struggled to justify the fee and spent several months on loan at Santos last season after falling out of favour with manager Roberto Mancini. The 26-year-old flew into Italy today to pass a medical. He will now join up with fellow new boy Zlatan Ibrahimovic at the San Siro as the club look to recapture the Serie A title for the first time since 2004. An official statement on the Milan website read: "AC Milan communicates it has acquired the player Robinho, outright from Manchester City. The Brazilian has signed a contract with the Rossoneri club for four years."Robinho started 48 league and cup matches for the Eastlands outfit and helped himself to 16 goals. After previously rejecting a move to Fenerbahce, he will now look to get his career back on track at the San Siro. Robinho joins the likes of Ibrahimovic, Ronaldinho, Alexandre Pato in an exciting looking forward line at Milan.

Ummmm Whoa. I saw the news and my exact reaction was "Whoa. Shit. Brady you reading what I'm reading?!?!" I don't care that Robinho acts like a spoiled little bitch who thinks the world owes him everything. Everybody said Ronaldinho was a fat, finished drunk when he moved to AC Milan and it seems like he's back on his game and is the only reason Brazil didn't win the World Cup this year. So the moral of the story is people don't know shit. Throw in the fact that Beckham might return sometime in Januaray and we have my new favorite team in the world. I know I'm all against Italian soccer but Robinho, Ronaldinho, Pato, Ibrahimovic and Beckham doesn't exactly sound like pussafied, watered down soccer.

NCAA Denies Jeremiah Masoli's Waiver

Everybody remembers Jeremiah Masoli as Oregon's star QB who was suddenly kicked off the team after multiple run ins with law enforcement. Dumbass, I mean Jeremiah, Masoli was first suspended after pleading guilty to theft of a fraternity house, and was later removed from the team after a possession of marijuana charge.


Masoli had finished his undergraduate degree but had one year left of eligibility. Masoli enrolled as a graduate student at Ole Miss and the NCAA will usually waive the one year sit out when the player declares a major at his new school not offered at his former. Masoli was a shoe in to be the starter at Ole Miss until the news he was ruled ineligible. He will be able to practice with the squad and play next. year.

Masoli and Ole Miss will appeal the ruling.

Fuck School, but College Football Rocks

School sucks but lets be honest, we can all find positives about heading back to the old books. A) Dumb freshman chicks wanting to get ruffie- I mean have fun; B) excuses to drink all the time; C) College Mother Fucking Football.

Now we all know Old Dominion has the greatest football team in the world, but Alabama might not be too far behind. Unfortunately for them, they will be without their Heisman winning running back Mark Ingram. Ingram underwent arthroscopic surgery on his left knee Tuesday Morning. Ingram had the injury late in practice Monday and underwent the surgery shortly after. Coach Saban called it a "situation where everyone thought it would be better to take care of now, so he would not have any issues with it later in the season."


Alabama is only ruling Ingram out for the first game right now, but it is very unlikely he'll be ready for the Tide's second game against Penn State. Lucky for Alabama fans, they got a guy named Trent Richardson who won't do too bad of a job filling in for Ingram. Richardson rushed for 751 yards and scored eight touchdowns as Ingram's back-up. Not too shabby.

Easy Now, Ron. Eassyyyyyy

Back away from the child! You can't just go around eating everything, big fella! And tell the kid to stop playing with his dick. It's a fucking picture, bro. Act accordingly.

Welp. 6.5 Back On August 30th. Now It's Really Over. Let's Vibe With Boyz II Men

Classic Parking Garage Story

NEW YORK -- A couple who left their car parked in a long-term lot near Kennedy Airport during a trip to California were trying to figure out what their car has been doing without them. Mimi and Ulrich Gunthart said their car odometer reading jumped by 724 miles while they were out of town. Ulrich Gunthart said he was "flabbergasted" when he saw the number. Another surprise: when they returned to the car and started it up, a music CD came on at full volume. David Menter, a regional manager for AviStar parking, said the company investigated and looked over inventory logs but "found nothing out of the ordinary." He said there have been no similar claims by other customers, and the company will be reviewing its procedures. The Guntharts said the incident won't stop them from parking at the lot again.

This is status quo for airport parking, right? Hey Ulrich, cut the shit about being "flabbergasted." Nobody uses the word "flabbergasted" unless they're really trying to stretch out the truth. I feel like these type of shenanigans are to be fully expected at this point. You saw Ferris Bueller, right? I'm not saying it's OK to take someone's car out but I'm also not saying I wouldn't give a porsche a bit of a test drive if I had the chance. You gotta love the regional manager's reaction, too. Found nothing out of the ordinary? Really? So the 724 extra miles on the whip and some unsigned rapper's mixtape blaring through the speakers is normal?

P.S. I really don't give a fuck about this story but that picture is money.

Like Father, Like Son

LAS VEGAS -- MGM Resorts International was under investigation after the underage son of basketball great Michael Jordan bragged on Twitter about partying at a Las Vegas Strip nightclub, Nevada gambling regulators said Monday. Officials were examining whether the casino operator violated laws prohibiting drinking or gambling by minors, Nevada Gaming Control Board enforcement chief Jerry Markling said. People under 21 often try to gamble or drink in Las Vegas, but punishment for casino operators depend on the circumstances, Markling said. Jordan's 19-year-old son Marcus Jordan tweeted Aug. 20 about spending $35,000 at Haze at Aria Resort & Casino. "Last night was stupid... 35K at Haze," the University of Central Florida sophomore guard said. "Totals 50K something the whole day."

Maybe I'm a product of the 90's but Michael Jordan can do no wrong in my eyes. People jumped all over him for having a self-centered Hall of Fame speech but I looked at it as his last way to stick it to every person who pissed him off a final. That's what fueled his game. That competitive fire. So cue everybody saying how bad of a father Michael Jordan is for passing his insane gambling addiction on to his son and letting him take thousands of dollars to the holy land. This is what I felt when I read how much he spent. "Uhhh homie threw up 35K! Roll on, playa! Roll on!" Seriously. I might transfer for UCF strictly for the sole purpose of hitting up Vegas with Marcus Jordan. You're telling me that "My dad is MJ" doesn't get you laid? Puuhh-leasee.

You Know Who Else Isn't Happy To Be Going To School Tomorrow? Thiss Guyyyyy

Let's not kid ourselves. J-Brault can't even touch my senior year and very few can even say they witnessed it. I came(yeshhhh), I saw(too much), I conquered(everything). Just like a shooting star, I flew in there, everybody said "ohhh! look at that!" and poof. I was gone. Good luck, sweet prince. Good luck.

I Know It's Preseason But....

FOXBOROUGH, Mass. -- After an inconsistent performance in a 36-35 loss to the Rams, quarterback Tom Brady said the Patriots “obviously don’t have everything solved at this point” and that it’s time to get back to work.  Brady pointed to the team’s slow start offensively as one of the disappointing aspects of the game. Three of the unit’s first four drives were just three plays, while the other was four plays.  If there was a positive aspect in Brady's view, it was how the offense responded with four straight touchdown drives. “Coach really challenged us at halftime to come out and play a lot tougher than we were playing, and I thought offensively we did a couple good things,” Brady said. “But in the end, it comes down to losing the game, and no one ever feels good about that around here.” Brady finished 18-of-22 for 273 yards with three touchdowns and no interceptions, the highlight his 65-yard bomb to receiver Randy Moss for a third-quarter touchdown. 

I don't what it is but it feels like Tom Terrific is a little more pissed off this season. Like he has something to prove and if I'm the rest of the NFL I'm saying "Uh-Oh." Everyone wants to talk about the Jets and the Ravens but don't forget about who the best QB in the league is, not the mention who has the most dangerous weapons on offense. Just like the 2007 season, The Pats are gonna be playing with a fuck you mentality and nothing would excite me more. I don't think I've ever been more jacked up for an upcoming NFL season. Rex Ryan must die.

Strasburg Likely Needs Tommy John Surgery

Stephen Strasburg has a torn elbow ligament and will most likely need Tommy John surgery, ending his rookie season. This is a giant loss for the Nationals and baseball in general because Strasburg was a HUGE draw for the Nat's usually boring games. Strasburg was pulled from Saturday's game in Philly (fuck Philly) after feeling a discomfort in his elbow after a pitch. At first, the Nationals thought it was nothing more than a strained flexor tendon, until an MRI revealed much more damage. Strasburg will fly to the West Coast to receive another MRI in hope for better news. They are not optimistic about getting that news though.

GM Mike Rizzo gave this comment about the phenom:
""As you can imagine, he was initially upset. But he has really turned himself from being upset to being focused on his rehabilitation. He's determined to get the surgery done and begin the process of rehabilitation."



Tommy John surgery is a very serious procedure and requires 12-18 months of rehab. Some pitchers have fallen off after the surgery (Kerry Wood) and others have gone on to have great careers (Chris Carpenter).


Source

Was I Right Or Was I Right?

PARAMUS, N.J. -- Tiger Woods finally looked like the No. 1 player in the world.  In his first tournament since his divorce, Woods played his best round of the year Thursday at The Barclays by missing only one fairway, putting for birdie on all but two holes and shooting a 6-under 65 for his lowest score all season."It feels good to be able to control my ball all day like this," Woods said. Woods' confidence was evident in another way -- his belief that the record he set as a goal long ago is still attainable. Asked after his post-round news conference if he still believes he will break Jack Nicklaus' record of 18 major titles, Woods told ESPNNewYork.com's Ian O'Connor, "Absolutely." "I look at it this way," Woods said, "[Ben] Hogan won all nine of his [majors] at my age and older. I think for every kid out there, the goal is to get there. That is the benchmark in our sport, and that's still my goal."

Tiger is finally talking like Tiger. In other words, he found his balls again and he's gonna use them. Does he think he's gonna crush Nicklaus' record of 18 major titles? "Absolutely." Boom. Not maybe, not possibly. Absolutely. He's back motherfuckers. No more stressing about the amount of money he's gonna have to pay and if more rumors spreading will affect it. That shit is all over now. The check has been written and all he cares about is winning majors and spending times with the children(and gambling with mj, staying at the bar late, calling in booty calls at 3 AM). It's like he go this mojo back. The short tempered, hard headed(heyooo) egotistical Tiger has re-emerged and I love it. It's clear he was simply stressing over his lady. He went through the cycle of wondering if Elin will take him back and when she finally said "fuck you, it's over" a weight was lifted.

Scottie Is Getting a Statue. Love That.

CHICAGO -- The Chicago Bulls will unveil a statue of Hall of Famer Scottie Pippen that will be displayed in the United Center at some point during the season. "Not only is Scottie Pippen one of the greatest players to ever wear a Bulls uniform, but he's among the best players in the history of the league to play the game," Bulls chairman Jerry Reinsdorf said in a statement. "He had a tremendous impact in bringing six world championships to Chicago and there is no better way to pay tribute to him than with a permanent statue that honors his inspirational career." Pippen was elected to the Hall of Fame on Aug. 13. He won six NBA titles with the Bulls, was named one of the 50 greatest NBA players and made seven All-Star teams.

Don't need to tell me Scottie Pippen deserves a statue. I was always a big fan of #33. Dude was money in his day and was probably the best player in the league after MJ retired for the first time.  Just your typical point-forward who can do it all. You want rebounds? OK. Want me to average 22 and 9 for my career and be fine with playing second fiddle? You got it. Wanna give me a bronze statue next to Michael? Uhh I fucking expect it.

Another Hard Day At The Office For Me and The Boss Man

1 post in 24 hours? Not my best effort but I shouldn't be 100% blamed here. It's not like my agent/manager/ceo is breathing down my back for more posts. Just nothing to talk about today and a wise, fat black man once told me to only makes moves when your hearts in it and live the phrase, "sky's the limit." Motherfuckers.

Don't You Dare Talk About Chan Gailey's Boys Like That

The Buffalo Bills may not be any tougher on their AFC East opponents this season, but new coach Chan Gailey has got a handle on his team's more unruly fans. After witnessing a group of Bills fans heckling QB Trent Edwards throughout practice Tuesday, Gailey approached the offenders. "I just was explaining to them why the players wouldn't be over there to sign some autographs for them," the first-year Bills coach said. "They said some things during practice that were derogatory to a couple of our players, and if you say something derogatory to one of us, you're saying it to all of us. So I told them don't go sign it for that crew."

Is this real life? Did a NFL head coach really approach a bunch of teenage boys for heckling Trent Edwards? Not Tom Brady. Not Brett Favre. Trent Edwards. Let Trent handle that shit. Have him sit back in the shotgun and deliver a laser right into the stands or something but do anything other than sending old man river to handle your business. What I would do in this situation? Simply tear off my helmet and yell, "Hey! Fuck you teenage boys!" Yeah that'll show those turds.

Razzball Fantasy Baseball Daily Post - August 25

Miss Mexico Jimena Navarrete was crowned Miss Universe on Monday night. I'd imagine watching one of these pageants would be about as exciting as watching Soap Operas all day. The only good part is the pictures of sillies that come from it and the fact that Donald Trump owns the pageant so you know it won't stop for money issues. It's good to see Mexico is exporting things other than baseball players these days. Branching out never hurt anyone - except for Frank Lucas.

As always, be sure to check out Razzball and consider donating to their site.

"

Dude, That's Some Really Nice Bud

Hello, new readers. No, this isn’t High Times dot com, but don’t worry there’s Doritos at the end of this post. Hey, don’t skip ahead. You have to read the post first. Yes, the computer is talking to you. Aw, I’m just messing with you. The computer’s not talking to you. You’re just reading, silly! So, Bud Norris didn’t come out of nowhere to be my new Razzpick du jour. Yesterday, he went six innings, giving up one run and K’d 4. In the not-too-decent past, I mentioned liking his upside. For our friends in Latin America, the caveat is his wildness. The love comes from the fact he has more Ks than innings. There’s only ten other starters with more than 110 innings in the major leagues that can claim that. That’s one starter for every finger. Unless Antonio Alfonseca is reading this. The wildness is still there, but he hasn’t walked more than 3 batters in a game since April. I’d absolutely grab Norris for the last month if I needed Ks (who doesn’t?) and some upside (of course you do). Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Chris Johnson – 4-for-6, 1 RBI in a 16th inning game that saw Roy Oswalt play left field and Tim Kurkjian’s voice cracking at the sheer craziness of the game. Can you believe this game, fellas?!

Ryan Howard – 0-for-7 with 5 Ks before he was ejected. That’s the golden early shower sombrero.

Ian Kinsler – Received good news that he’s about week away from trying to re-injure himself again in the major leagues. Here’s to that next injury, Kinsler!

Luke Scott – Three straight games now with a homer. He has 25 homers on the year. I.e., the same as Adrian Gonzalez and Prince Fielder. Luck my fife.

Bobby Jenks – When Putz came out injured (zipper problem?), Jenks came in and sealed the deal with a perfect save. With Thornton headed to the DL, Jenks is your closer.

Hong-Chih Kuo – And Broxton is not your closer. Or at least he wasn’t last night. Broxton was the closer on Saturday then his next time out he looked like how Torre treats Kemp. I imagine Kuo will get another save or two until Broxton can get his shizz together.

Matt Kemp – Notched a slam & legs as the Dodgers somehow made due without Pods’ grit and wily veteranship. Perhaps Ronnie Belliard’s determinedness and Manny’s insouciance made up for it.

Chad Billinsgley – Will have his next start pushed back to Saturday because of a tweaked calf. Hopefully he doesn’t go ice skating on his time off.

Jorge de la Rosa – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks. You might feel like you need bulbs the size of onions to start some of these guys, but dlR hasn’t given up more than 3 runs in over a month.

Eric Young Jr. – 3-for-4 with his 9th steal. He’s leading off every game and stealing. You really shouldn’t need more.

Javier Vazquez – Moving to the bullpen for a little while while (stutterer!) Ivan Nova takes over his starting spot. Vazquez should’ve been dropped months ago; now you have no excuse. I went over Nova yesterday, you can get to it from here with a little ingenuity. The gist: Always drink your Novaltine!

Carlos Zambrano – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks. I’ll cop to grabbing Big Z in one league. Hey, if you can’t beat ‘em or file a restraining order…

Carlos Marmol – 1 1/3 IP, 3 ER. Your Ks make me so happy, your wildness makes me so sad. It’s bittersweet, more sweet than bitter, bitter than sweet, Big Head Todd.

Tyler Colvin – 2-for-3 with a homer as he hit in the eight hole. Big change from when Lou was batting him leadoff. The eight hole for NL hitters is death.

Matt Holliday – 1-for-4 with his 22nd homer. He’s doing what you hoped Markakis would do and Josh Hamilton’s doing what you hoped Holliday would do. Maybe finally next year people won’t expect the Holliday of Coors to still show up.

Evan Meek – Recorded the save with 1 IP, 1 ER and 4 baserunners, bringing his August ERA to 8.59. His name is looking more and more like an aptronym. Hanrahanananan hasn’t been much better, so the Pirates may just play matchups, using both relievers. Yes, a shituation that already yielded next to no saves just got worse.

Jose Tabata – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and a steal. Steal-tuh-batta-batta-steal!

Kila Ka’aihue – The Good Eyein’ Hawai’ian hit his first homer of the year. Can grab him in AL-Only leagues, but for now hold your junk in mixed leagues.

Rick Porcello – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 4 Ks. That’s nice, but he has a 5.26 ERA in August. Porcello a mushroom cloud away from a blow up.

Ryan Raburn – 2-for-4 with his 8th homer. I’ve already mentioned on a few occasions that I like Raburn. Raburn’s the horse, and it’s been beat.

Jhonny Peralta – Now 5 for his last 7. So far Silent H has been deadly for your fantasy teams, so I’d try and maintain my jhoy.

Will Rhymes – 2-for-4, getting comical how much he’s been getting on base (.476 over the last week) and still doesn’t have a steal. You got the rhyming, now bring on the stealing!

Hideki Matsui – 3-for-5 and hitting near-.400 in the last week. Still only has 2 homers this month, but if the million other hitters I’d own before Matsui are taken, here ya go.

Mike Napoli – Sat out again as the Angels placed him on waivers. It’s pretty normal for teams to place guys on waivers, but the irony is (if it is irony… no one has any idea what irony is), if the Angels were to see a team place a 20 homer 1st baseman on waivers and they didn’t know who he was, they would want him. Seriously, Napoli, apologize for sleeping with Scioscia’s wife. You were drunk, it’s all good. Bros before, well, you know.

Clayton Richard – 6 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 8 Ks. Guess where he pitched. Yup.

Will Venable – 2-for-3 with a slam & legs. Was his 6th steal in his last ten games. Yes, he really is this fast.

Gaby Sanchez – 2-for-3 and 3 homers in his last five games and now has 15 home runs on the year. Looks like someone didn’t like that I compared him to Lyle Overbay. Well, Lyle Overbay has 16 homers. Cust kayin’.

Travis Wood – 4 IP, 7 ER. Damn, roofied.

Brandon Phillips – 3-for-5 with 2 homers. He’s on an insane hot streak right now. One four-hit and two three-hit nights in his last five, three-oh-nine.

Freddy Sanchez – 4-for-4, 4 Runs and a homer. The game before, 4-for-5. Since Freddy got fingered to platoon with Fontenot, he’s hitting near .450.

Pat Burrell – 0-for-3 as the Giants scored 16 runs. Ticker tease!

Coco Crisp – 3-for-5, with a homer and a steal. Last night was a huge night for slams & legses.

Angel Pagan – 4-for-5, 3 Runs and his 31st steal. Do you realize Angel Pagan is a top ten fantasy outfielder according to ESPN’s Player Rater? Sure, steals are overvalued on that thing, but that’s still kinda crazy.

R.A. Dickey – 7 IP, 5 ER, 10 baserunners, 8 Ks. Starts like this happen because of the unpredictable nature of the knuckleball. On a sidenote, this game saw Dickey going against Johnson. Sounds less like a baseball game and more like a sword fight.

"

New CW Show "Hellcats"

This show looks like a winner. Hellcats is a new cheerleading dramedy on The CW and starts in two weeks (Wednesday September 8 at 9pm). Entertainment Weekly describes it as "Election meets Bring It On". You might be sarcastically thinking "Ah yes, the perfect recipe for a successful show" but those two movies were actually solid. It's about a "rough around the edges" pre-law student who needs to join the cheerleading team as a way to get a scholarship and pay for college. Even though Snooki could have come up with a better premise I'll probably watch a few episodes because that's just what I do - I watch shitty shows on terrible networks.

"Hellcats" stars one of my all-time Disney favorites, Alyson Michalka. You should know by now that I have a soft-spot for blondes but she's also been in some great things. Phil of the Future was a phenomenal TV show and Bandslam was a very great under the radar movie. She's even had a successful singing career and has put out some really catchy songs (if you don't believe me click here and here).

"Hellcats" also stars Ashley Tisdale who is a perfect example of somehow who looks HORRENDOUS without makeup. I'm still not sold on her being in this show because she was in a "Bring It On" movie that went straight to DVD and wasn't even good enough to get a Rotten Tomatoes review. She's also the worst part of "The Suite Life of Zack & Cody". And no, I definitely have never seen that show before.

Trailers are below:

German Sportscaster Gets Nailed by Soccer Ball

Yes, yes and more yes. This video is hilarious and further proves that women should not be sports commentators. If that were a man he would have been able to use his sixth sense and get out of the way. This might just be a case of the soccer ball telling women they shouldn't talk about sports seeing as there was a man standing right next to her and the ball didn't hit him. This happened last weekend at some German soccer game but I'm not sure which one since everything is in German. Enjoy.

I Always Thought You Were a Bitch Anyway

DETROIT -- Johnny Damon is staying with the Tigers after all, saying "I love Detroit." The Tigers outfielder said before Tuesday night's game against Kansas City that he decided to pass up a chance to return to the Boston Red Sox, with whom he became a cult hero in helping lead the team to a World Series title in 2004, its first since 1918.  The Red Sox claimed Damon on waivers this week, but he had the right to veto a move to Boston because of a no-trade clause in his contract. "These guys really like me here," Damon said Tuesday, adding that he spoke to each of his teammates individually to be sure he was wanted in the Tigers' clubhouse. Damon said he was leaning toward staying put from the beginning. He texted former Red Sox teammate Jason Varitek and talked to David Ortiz, and both tried to convince him to return to Boston. "They told me they wanted a spark," Damon said. A source told ESPNBoston.com earlier in the day that the Red Sox were indeed interested in acquiring Damon and that the waiver claim was not merely to block a move to another team.

The guys really like you there? Yeah? That's why they put you on waivers to give you away, right? OK. I forgot that Johnny Damon is always the smartest guy in the room.  Silly me. I don't say this lightly but I totally want to beat the shit out of him right now. Just a poor man's Jacoby Ellsbury and Ellsbury has been on the field a total of 11 times this year.

This Is The Gayest Kid In The Little League World Series

He doesn't say he likes Miley Cyrus. His role model is Miley. That's one way to make a statement on the national stage. They always talk about homosexuals in professional sports but I think it's about time we start focusing on the little leaguers. They're catching the gay virus way too early.

America's Most Eligible Bachelor Is Released Back Into The Wild

Tiger Woods and his Swedish-born wife officially divorced Monday, nine months after his middle-of-the night car crash outside their home set off shocking revelations that the world's most famous athlete had been cheating on her through multiple affairs. "We are sad that our marriage is over and we wish each other the very best for the future," Woods and Elin Nordegren said in a joint statement released by their lawyers.  The divorce was granted in Bay County Circuit Court in Panama City, Fla., about 375 miles away from their Isleworth home outside Orlando. The couple married in October 2004 in Barbados and have a 3-year-old daughter, Sam, and a 19-month-old son, Charlie. The marriage was described in court documents as "irretrievably broken" with no point in trying to reconcile. Terms of the divorce were not disclosed, except that they will "share parenting" of their two children.

Now it's time to go to work. On and off the course.

Someone Tried To Kill Paris Hilton - Unfortunately Unsuccessful

This is a serious topic and I probably shouldn't be making a joke of it, but nobody really likes Paris Hilton so who cares. Apparently Paris woke up to her dogs barking and a large man trying to get through the window with 2 knives. She tweeted: "So Scary, just got woken up to a guy trying to break into my house holding 2 big knifes. Cops are here arresting him."

She also posted this picture:



Apparently I'm the only one who see's the mistake in this picture. They're arresting the man who tried to do this world a great deed while they should be arresting that dumb bitch Paris.

Source

Razzball Fantasy Baseball Daily Post - August 24

*Click to enlarge*

Emmanuel Chriqui (Sloane from Entourage) just did a photo shoot for the show and if you didn't already love her, these pictures are going to make you want to take up acting to try and get closer to her. Or become a paparazzi. Or just take the easy route and stalk her. I'm no expert in photography but I bet every photographer knows when he just took something so perfect it will give him the cash to fund his Lego habit another year. That's what we have here - Lego funding quality pictures. There are 27 more pictures after the jump if you get bored with these 2.

As always, be sure to check out Razzball and consider donating to their site.

"

Call The Dream Police Cuz Bautista's 2010 Feels Like A Cheap Trick

Jose Bautista hit his 39th and 40th home runs last night. As frequent commenter, VinWins, pointed out yesterday, in the Blue Kays last 162 games, Bautista has 50 homers. Okay, I was way off with this guy, but Jose Bautista didn’t see this year coming. His own mother doesn’t recognize him. Every morning he wakes up wondering if the last five months were a dream. This is the craziest home run year since Scooter McGillicuddy blasted 6 homers in 1901 while battling scurvy. Bautista hadn’t hit 30 homers in the past two years combined in twice as many games. His HR/FB% is nearly double his career mark. His fly balls are through the roof, literally. His Isolated Power is near Babe Ruth’s career mark. The HR department thinks Bautista lied on his resume. A mouth enters on the left side of the screen and says, “Im,” a mouth enters on the right side and says, “Probable.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brandon Morrow – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 12 Ks. Hello, beautiful. I hate AL East pitchers, but I might just own Morrow on all of my teams next year. Right after, I draft Daniel Hudson.

Ivan Nova – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks. In the minors, he had a 2.86 ERA in 145 IP and around a 7 K/9 rate. He’s not guaranteed another start, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see him face the A’s next week. It’s not a terrible spot starter for the Yankees or for your fantasy team. And he would’ve made a great pitcher-catcher combination with Mike Scioscia.

Jeremy Bonderman – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks. Decent enough start, but he’s coming off 3 atrocious games and has a 5.27 ERA on the year. You want an ulcer? Ask your girlfriend which friend of yours she would sleep with if you weren’t dating her. Don’t pickup Bonderman.

Brett Myers – 7 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 9 Ks. Gets the win in his first start against his old team. When asked how it felt to beat the Phillies, he said, “I’ll always love the Phillies but sometimes you have to beat the ones you love.”

Joe Blanton – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks. Actually outpitched Myers and has 3 decent starts in his last four and goes to Petco next.

James Shields – 6 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 10 Ks. Now has back-to-back quality starts, but has a 4.76 ERA on the year and gets the Sawx next. I’d look elsewhere if you can.

Michael Bourn – 3-for-4, 2 SBs. That’s now a robust .252 with 1 HR and 27 RBIs to go with the 42 SBs. Someone is running for presidency of the SAGNOF Foundation when Juan Pierre’s term expires.

Blake DeWitt – 3-for-5 with his 4th homer. His power and speed are very limited, but he’s hitting over .350 in the last week.

Casey Coleman – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 3 Ks. He had an under 5 K/9 in the minor leagues this year. That’s longhand for blech.

Stephen Strasburg – Headed to the DL with a strained flexor tendon but the Nats’ GM Rizzo wouldn’t rule out Strasburg from pitching again this year. If I may read between the lines, Ratso is saying, “Please continue to buy tickets with the hope Strasburg will pitch again even though he’s not. Thank you for your patronage.”

Jordan Zimmerman – J. Z’s coming back again. He’s got 99 problems but a pitch ain’t one. This Thursday he returns after putting up a 1.59 ERA in the minors with nearly a K/IP. Last year, 92 Ks in 91 1/3 IP. I’d absolutely grab him in all leagues.

Edinson Volquez – 2/3 IP, 5 ER, 8 baserunners. This is only his 2nd bad start out of 7 this year but his lack of control (more than 6 BB/9 IP) makes him a very risky mixed-league start. I wouldn’t play Volquez unless it was MLB-sponsored Scrabble.

Alberto Callaspo – 2-for-4 and batting over .400 in the last week. Also, batting near-.350 in August. Not going to give you much power or speed, but he’s hitting for average and batting third.

Andres Torres – 1-for-3 with his 13th homer. Still not clear how Cody Ross is working into the picture, but I’m guessing Torres’ playing time should be relatively safe. Guillen and Burrell might have some splainin’ to do.

Rich Harden – Came off the DL to throw 6 2/3 hitless innings. It seems like he always has a great start coming off the DL. Unfortunately, those have been his only good 5 starts all season.

Jeff Mathis – 0-for-3 with 2 Ks. Batting .197 on the year. Has played 5 of the last six games. Napoli leads the Angels in homers. Napoli leads the major leagues in homers by catchers. Napoli sat yesterday.

Jim Edmonds – Pulled from the game with a strained oblique that he injured while swinging. Same thing once happened to a creepy guy at Hedonism. Stubbs could see more playing time as a result. That’s a pretty lukewarm endorsement of Stubbs.

Todd Helton – 4-for-4 as he answers the question, “Is Helton retired?”

Carlos Gonzalez – 2-for-3 with his 20th steal. Good to see him run since he just returned from a knee injury.

Ross Ohlendorf – After giving up a walk and a single, he left with a shoulder injury. Call him Ailindorf.

Jose Tabata – 3-for-4 with his 13th steal as he bats .381 in his last 7 games. I’m still on the fence with how much I’m going to like Tabata next year. Feel free to push me one way or the other.

John Lackey/Kyle Lohse – Both have had painful seasons but had great starts. Of course, it was against Seattle and Pittsburgh respectively. Those two teams score less than the Chess Club.

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