Desperately Desperate

Yes, I am desperately desperate for the episode featuring Heidi Klum. Turns out I got it wrong last week and that was not this episode but the next one. Mea culpa.

The episode starts with Eva Longoria wearing Uggs. She gets frustrated by her motherly duties and is relieved when her child's chicken pox forces her out of the house. She then proceeds to go on a bender with the gay neighbors. The episode gave away my classic report card hiding place: under the bed. Damn it! The next scene featured Julie Benz and Dana Delany. Julie Benz accidentally spills syrup on herself and then proclaims, "I don't know what it is with me, I just have to get dirty". Katherine then starts touching her and whispers "I'll get it" right as we see it was all a dream. 2 pictures from the scene are below.



Felicity Huffman forgets about her daughter's birthday, Marcia Cross (Bree Van de Kamp) hires a new employee who reveals he has ulterior motives which we will have to wait to find out, Kathryn Joosten (Karen McCluskey) gets engaged, Karen's fiance tells Teri Hatcher that he never desired other women until he got engaged. He reaffirmed every man's thought process when he said, "All my life I never cared about salt, but when my doctors said I couldn't have it anymore I started craving it". Gaby (Eva Longoria Parker) finally realizes she needs to be home with her children and not out partying while Karen's fiance realizes he needs to be there for Karen when she finds a potentially cancerous lump on her lungs. The episode ends with Dana Delany (Katherine Mayfair) and Julie Benz laying in the same bed, naked under the sheets. On the scale of manliness from Gilmore Girls to 24 this episode was about a 4.

P.S. If you love Desperate Housewives you are sure to love this new TV show because it is being tagged as "Desperate Housewives for teens". It is called Pretty Little Liars and will air sometime in 2010. Check out this site for some pilot photos.

This Is The Blog I Had Ready To Post If USA Won.

Neil Young and Pearl Jam are a staple of american culture in my book. KEEP ON ROCKIN' IN THE FREE WORLD!!!



huh? Neil Young is Canadian? NOOOOO!

Didn't Derrick Coleman Graduate in The 80's?

Relax, bro. I don't know what I find more funny about this picture. Derrick Coleman trying to butt fuck Kris Joseph or Jay Bilas' facial expression. He has this look in his eye that says, "the way you move aint fair you know."

Classy, Sellberg

The shocker? Real orginal. I wonder where he got that pose from? Oh. Wait. I know....
WHAMMY! Don't say I never taught you anything

Hey, America. Let's Gooooooooo

USA vs. Canada Live Blog

I will be live blogging for the USA vs. Canada gold medal game which starts in about 15 minutes. Jeremy Roenick just said "this is the biggest game in hockey history". The environment in Canada hockey place is guaranteed to be incredible.

1st Period
2:30 - And we're off!! Canada won the face-off and it has been pretty much back and forth since then with no great scoring chances for either team.

6:39 - USA has had a great forecheck so far which helped them get a few slap shots from inside the zone. Canada has been able to block most of the US shots which resulted in a few odd man opportunities for them.

11:00 - Dustin Brown makes a great move past Drew Doughty on the left side and gets a great scoring chance that Roberto Luongo barely stops with his skate. Scoring chances are 4-1 USA.

12:50 - Canada gets on the board first thanks to a rebound goal by Jonathan Toews. Mike Richards' shot bounced off Ryan Miller right to Toews who buried it. Canada is 4-0 when scoring first in these Olympics.

14:02 - Canada will go on the PP as Bobby Ryan takes out Dany Heatley's legs.

End of the 1st period - USA had a good scoring chance with a few seconds remaining but couldn't convert. Shorts are 10-8 Canada with the advantage as they lead 1-0. After the buzzer Corey Perry punched Jack Johnson in the back of the head that was dirty and brought the teams together in a small scuffle. No penalties were called.

2nd Period
2:33 - Ryan Malone was called for a high sticking penalty as he got his glove and stick in the face of Corey Perry.

4:41 - The US killed off the Canada PP, blocking a bunch of the shot attempts in the process. Canada's Eric Staal was called for an interference penalty and the US will go on the PP.

7:13 - Canada makes it 2-0 as Ryan Getzlaf makes a nice centering pass that goes off a US defender's stick, straight to Corey Perry who wrists it past Miller.

8:25 - Jonathan Toews is called for tripping and the US will go on their 2nd PP of the game. They desperately need to get something going.

12:44 - USA finally gets on the board as Patrick Kane wrists one on net and Ryan Kesler deflects it in.

End of the 2nd period - Canada's Eric Staal had a breakaway with bout 50 seconds remaining but shot it wide. Shots are Canada: 25, USA: 23. The US started to pick up their game the last 10 minutes of the period and hopefully they continue that into the 3rd.

3rd Period
3:40 - Canada is really outplaying the US right now and have 6 shot attempts this period (none of them have been on net).

8:40 - USA coach Ron Wilson has changed up the lines a little bit to try and create some scoring chances. Hopefully it pays off.

14:55 - Both teams have had good scoring chances with the edge to USA. The US needs to put a puck in the back of the net in the next 5 minutes or Canada will skate away with the gold.

18:43 - USA pulled Ryan Miller and had a few good scoring chances close to the net but couldn't get anything past Luongo. The US used their timeout and both teams are drawing up plays. This offensive zone face-off is huge for the US.

19:35 - GOOOALLLL USA!! Zach Parise found a loose puck in front of the net off a rebound and buried it to tie the game with 24.4 seconds to go. This one's going to overtime!

Overtime
7:40 - Crosby took a pass from Iginla in the offensive zone and puts it 5 hole past Ryan Miller for the gold. Great game by both teams and the US will go home with the silver, more than they were expected to get 2 weeks ago but a disappointment today.

Overall it was a great tournament that definitely got hockey a lot more fans. Side note, Ryan Miller's head looks tiny in his huge pads.

Chatroulette Sunday Special

Nothing special. Just had to get my America on before the game today. Really went through the motions out there. I'll be back on Tuesday throwing my knuckle ball.

Batch Of Girl Scout Cookies Gone Bad

LOUISVILLE, Ky. -- They promise to entice the senses with a "hint of cinnamon-ginger spice" and a "refreshingly zesty lemon creme filling," but some batches of Lemon Chalet Creme Girl Scout cookies didn't quite turn out that way.A Kentucky bakery that makes the cookies pulled some batches Thursday after about a dozen people complained of a foul smell and taste.Little Brownie Bakers in Louisville, one of two bakeries in the U.S. that makes Girl Scout cookies, said Friday no one has gotten sick from the stinky, bad-tasting cookies sold in 24 states, and they are safe to eat.The problem is caused by a breakdown of oils in the cookies, the bakery said on its Web site.The cookies were distributed in Alabama, California, Colorado, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, North Carolina, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Wisconsin and the District of Columbia."We undertook a thorough investigation and determined that while the cookies are safe for customers to eat, they are not up to our quality standards," bakery spokeswoman Susanne Norwitz said in an e-mail.

Phew. That was close. I don't know what I would have done if I found out my cookies were contaminated. Would have been a fucking disaster in my eyes. A state of emergency, if you will. I might start a petition to get Girl Scout cookie delivery day recognized as a national holiday. Like Christopher Columbus gets his own day and he wasn't even American. The motherfucker came here on accident! Let's celebrate the raping and murdering of indians. It's amazing. Girl Scout cookies might be the only thing that's still right about this country.

The Real Big Three

Beckett, Lester, Lackey. I'm still perplexed on how people say we don't have the best rotation in baseball. I didn't even mention Bucholz or a healthy Dice-k.

Picture Of The Year

That's what it means to put asses in the seats! If we're not ranked #1 in the country on the monday morning, the anger I displayed towards Togs will end looking like child's play when I'm done ranting and raving.

Dear Togs, You're Motherfucking Fired

I just read 4 consecutive posts that I didn't give a shit about. Have you never read anything from this blog? You do know I hate Calhoun, Brett Favre and anything to do with CCSU, right? Come the fuck on, dude. I gave you a shot and this is how you repay me? By producing piles of shit? Brett Favre? Really? the NFL season ended a month ago and you still wanna talk about that attention seeking whore. Incredible. You gotta talk about shit that people care. Like something that's socially relevant. I didn't know I'd have to spoon feed you on how to be awesome but I guess I was wrong. Fuck. Oh well. Another one bites the dust.


UPDATE: I liked how the only defense to getting fired was posting porn on the blog. Nice touch, asshole. The manly thing to do was write a rebuttal and prove to everybody you're not a fucking bitch but I guess even that was too much to ask. What a joke. Yeah, I'm a little upset.

Ode to Brett Favre

Brett Fuckin Favre, what else is there to say about him.... Oh a lot! He is one of the best quaterbacks of all time behind Tom Brady ofcourse. But Still many of you are probably tired of Brett flip flopping on if he is going to come back again. I Hope he does. Football wont be the same without him. As long as I have watched football I have watched Brett do amazing things. I was at the Pats and jets overtime game in 2008 when Brett drove down the field for the game wining field goal. I was really pissed that the Pats lost but I was able to say to myself that I was able to see Brett play. I know he is old but look what he did this year he had his best statistical year of his career and he proved to be pretty good for me in fantasy football as well. He blew up Sydney Rice's career and all the while making Adrian Peterson look human since the Vikings went to a pass first offense and dropped Peterson's carries down and he suffered alot expecially from all the fucking fumbles he had. Your Prolly saying right now Togs your stupid or a fag, Brett blew the game for the Vikings in the playoffs. All I have to say is fuck you and thats what you get with Favre. The gunslinger he is will never die in him and he will keep trying to fit it into the tightest spots, he could probably throw a football into a 16 year olds vagina from 20 yards away. You know deep down you will be missing something in your life when Brett is gone. I'm pretty sure John Madden will cease to exist when Brett is finally done. So I hope he comes back and you should to, if not your not a true football fan and are probably hated by people who know you. The Myth signing off.

You Don't Go To The Olympics For The Cold Snow. You Go For The Hot Sex

Rowdy curling crowds; spontaneous street parties; public drunkeness. You don't have to look far for evidence that the crowds at Winter Games in Vancouver know how to have a good time. And, as if anymore proof is needed that a wild Olympic atmosphere permeates B.C.'s largest city, now there's an apparent condom shortage. That's right. As you read this, an emergency shipment of condoms is desperately making its way across Canada to the West Coast city. Health officials in Vancouver have already provided 100,000 free condoms to the roughly 7,000 ahtletes and officials at the Games. That's about 14 condoms per person. But as of Wednesday, those supplies started running dangerously low. So naturally, the Canadian Foundation for AIDS research decided to step and make sure there were no hitches in Olympic action.

Something tells me Vancouver during the olympics is like ESPN headquarters on a tuesday. Don't even get me started what that place is like on a friday. I swear I saw Scot Van Pelt driving out of Bristol with a pair of panties on his head with Colin Cowherd slapping some intern in the back seat but I digress. 14 condoms per person? That means Bode Miller slammed 14 chicks? He's only been there for like 14 days so that means he's gotten some every day of the week. Only in the olympic village, I suppose. I can't really blame the guy. America is pretty much running the world so I bet every little Czech wants a taste of democracy and capitalism. Even a goof ball like Shaun White could get laid based on the fact that he rocks the stars and stripes. Togs couldn't pull it off though. No way.

I Guess I Owe Nate Robinson an Apology

I never meant to be so bad to you. He really hasn't been that bad considering he's averaging like 10 minutes a game. But he also hasn't really been that good. I thought he was gonna come in like Ricky Davis and start chucking up 3's like he's hot shit. I guess tiny Nate is on his best behavior. For now. So I'm sorry if I offended all your Robinson lovers. It was the heat of the moment.

Wale coming to CCSU!

Hella Yeah you heard me right! The rapper from D.C. is coming to CCSU for spring fling. I know your maybe thinking who the fuck is Wale? Well let me tell you he is fucking awesome. He is one of the best rappers of the year. His album Attention Deficit is amazing, his singles Chillin ft. Lady Gaga and Pretty Girls ft. Gucci Mane are great songs and if you haven't heard him then I am severely disappointed in you. Make sure you check out the links I post to his songs on youtube. if you try to compare Wale to any other rapper your ignorant and you haven't listened to a word I've said. He has a nice free flow and has a certain D.C. swagger to him. If Drake didn't come out at the same time everyone would be talking about Wale instead, you can quote me on that. Now if you do listen to these songs and don't like him, well you can just go fuck yourself, if you do like him, I like you too :). If you want to go see him open up for New Found Glory which is fuckin retarded, Im just gonna go to see him then leave with all the black people cause they don't want to see a fuckin emo band either. If we had a bigger budget we could get more than just Wale maybe even Kid Cudi and him but Uconn got Cudi. Fuck New Found Glory...If you want to go to the concert its on April 24th. idk what time or when tickets go on sale so oh well. GO WALE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9M7XpHqeP0 this is Chillin.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8YxSzXnZ40 this is Pretty Girls.

Calhoun and Uconn

Dear Jim,

Please stay.

Connecticut coach Jim Calhoun supposedly has a contract extension on his desk that would keep him in Storrs for five more years. The winner of 800-plus games, with two national titles and a litany of awards and accolades, the 67-year-old has already been inducted into the Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame -- and oh yeah, has beaten cancer three times.By Doug Gottlieb

This guy has it right Calhoun needs to stay if Uconn ever whats to be good for the next 5 years. The only way they are gonna get any good new players is if Calhoun is there. Now I fuckin love Uconn but I cant imagine Uconn being coached by anyone else but him. Look I know they haven't been very good this year and they might not make the NCAA tournament but you can't blame Calhoun for that. As long as they win out and Jerome Dyson and Kemba Walker keep up their play they can go deep in the tournament I think. Ofcourse if they make the tournament I have to pick them to win it all on my ESPN bracket cause thats what I do when Uconn is in the tourny. Iw ould talk about the Uconn women here but I know Connor would kick me off If i talk about them all Ill say about them is Meghan Gardler is hot and they are not losing for the next two seasons. Back to Calhoun he is by far one of the best college Coaches off all time and he deserves all the money they give him so he can buy his wife off with nice things and be like Tiger..at least I imagine thats what he does with all his money.

Half Baked Ideas

A lot of shit goes through my head during the day and I don't have enough blog posts to put them all down into full thoughts. So here they are. It's back by popular request.

1. I look at my license photo every fucking day and I don't like it. I got this long hair that looks like I just smoked a bowl and my eyes look as if I drank 14 beers the night before. Because I did drink 14 beers the night before. I wish I could re-do it and throw somebody in there with me. Like santa or the easter bunny. Cop pulls you over and he's gonna smile when he sees your picture. And my hair has to be cut short so I look clean. You always see these celebs who are just hanging out with their unkept hair and they show up on TV with a d.u.i and you're like "whoa. homie looks like shit." Well what about when my mug shut comes up and my hair looks trimmed, sitting next to santa, with an easter egg in my hands? Boom. I'm an internet star.

2. The slam dunk contest sucks. Fuck the tricks. Let's jack the hoop up to like 15 feet and see who can dunk on the highest height.

3. Has the Real World kind of sucked more and more every year? I was beginning to think so until Wednesday's episode. We have a possible attempted murder! It's one of the top 5 anticipated events for the next week. Yes. Welcome to my life. Save me from it.

4. I'm kind of embarrassed how wrong I was on the olympics. I said I wasn't gonna watch and that I didn't give a shit. Well, I'm ENTHRALLED by them. Even the female curlers are babes.

5. 16 and Pregnant is what's wrong with America. Shows like that is why so many countries hate us. It's why I can't find a fucking european friend on chatroulette. Or maybe it's my USA chants or telling them we don't allow gays. One of those 3. Maybe.

6. If you like the song "say ahh" go fuck yourself. Don't even talk to me. I'm not a music snob either but that's a dumb fucking song.

7. Poor Tiger Woods. It's just too bad. If we lived in the time of Mad Men he would be like Don Draper. And Don Draper is awesome. I want a job where I can sit around with my friends, come up with great ideas, smoke, drink and hook up with chicks. Oh. Wait. That's Ogling Ed Hochuli!

8. Back to Tiger Woods. That speech was something else. My favorite part wasn't even the bro hugs. It was when he asked all of us to believe in him again. I'll tell ya what, I was lost and had no beliefs until that moment. I stood up from my couch, put my hand on my heart and said "Tiger, I'm ready to believe in you again!"

9. How did Tiger hide for so long? He was like fucking Bin Laden. No, he wasn't fucking Bin Laden but you know what I mean.

10. Didn't True Life used to follow celebrities? And they started off the show like, "You may think you know but you have no idea." Or was that Diary? Whatever happened to Diary? MTV needs to bring that shit back.

11. I still think the iPad should be some new technology/savvy tampon. Warn girls about their cycles or something. I don't know. Maybe it would play music. That would be a shocker(heyyoooooo).

12. What's Tog's deal? Seriously. Fucking kid asks for a job and I think I'm being a nice guy and giving him a shot to prove himself and he produces 2 posts in 3 days. This isn't a charity case, asshole. It's time to put up or shut up. He's about 12 hours from getting smacked.

13. I'm starting a new party trend. No more drinking light beer in cans. I wanna walk into a party and everybody is drinking nothing but hard liquor on ice, in nice glasses. Might even wear my chatroulette bow tie.

14. I'm gonna meet Michelle Beadle and we're going to get married. I just know it. I'll walk up to her and say 'Why don't we get you out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini." Will it make sense? No. But will she laugh? I think so.

15. Ben by Michael Jackson just came on. It's a love song to his pet rat. That's INSANE. Who does that? How did he get away with it? It's kind of wild how so many people were shocked that MJ liked to tickle kids with songs like this.

16. I came across a blog called Afraid of Ed Hochuli. Not cool, dudes. Not cool. You will be hearing from my lawyer. Who is also my cat but with a tie on. He's pretty crafty with paper work. Not a big talker though. Big fan of the fifth amendment.

17. I don't like Canada. Even Sean Avery hates Canada and he's from Canada. I don't even wanna invade it because there is nothing of value from taken from it.

Send Over The Soldiers! The World Is Ours

I mean Wow. Like WOW. Let this be a lesson to the rest of the world. You don't come into North America and think you're gonna stick it to us. We might even blow Canada off the map on sunday. I don't know. What I do know is little chumps like Russia, Sweden, Finland, Switzerland and whatever other fake tough guy country played in this tourny went home like bitches. It's fantastic. Wasn't Finland supposed to muscle the young U.S. guys on the boards? How does 6 goals in the first period taste? This is what it means to be American. I wanna board a plane to Vancouver right now and go party. I guarantee I would be slaying european females just because I'm American. Nobody is a match for us. Now I think it's time to talk shit on chatroulette about it.

Tom Brady's Hair Looks Fantastic

USA vs. Finland Live Blog

I will be live blogging during the semifinal game between the USA and Finland.

1st Period
2:04 - USA dumps the puck towards Kiprusoff and Jack Johnson skates in fast forcing Kiprusoff to make a terrible pass straight to Ryan Malone who wrists it into an empty net from the top of the circle.

6:22 - Paul Stastny makes an awesome pass to Zach Parise who absolutely roofs it over a diving Kiprusoff on the PP to make it 2-0 USA!

8:36 - USA gets its 2nd straight PP goal 2 minutes later to make it, 3-0 not even 9 minutes in. This time it was Erik Johnson from Joe Pavelski and Ryan Malone. (The announcers are mentioning the Fins should pull Kiprusoff.

10:08 - 4-0 USA!!! This is getting outrageous! This time Patrick Kane finally makes a good play and pretty much does all the work himself and backhands it past Kiprusoff. Kiprusoff immediately skates off and pulls himself out of the game. There has been so much scoring I don't need to make other updates! Niklas Backstrom is now in net for Finland.

12:31 - 5-0 USAAAAAA!! Patrick Kane takes an awesome pass from Rafalski and roofs it over Backstrom's right shoulder

12:46 - 6-0 USA before I can even finish the 5-0 post. That makes 2 goals in the last 15 seconds!!! Paul Stastny takes a pass from Jamie Langenbrunner and roofs it top right. Is there a mercy rule???

18:00 - Finland is finally getting a few chances but they are all 1 shot and done.

End of the 1st period - USA got a penalty (Brian Rafalski - kneeing) with 11.8 seconds to go so Finland will start the 2nd on the PP. I'll try to recap some stats from the 1st. Shots - USA: 13, Finland: 4. Kane 2G, Malone/ 1G/1A each, E. Johnson 1G, Langenbrunner/Pavelski 1A each, Rafalski 2A

Al Michaels with a great quote during the intermission, "This is the equivalent of a football team leading another team 42-0 midway through the 2nd quarter".

2nd period
1:50 - The USA penalty is over and Finland only managed 1 shot on net.

7:52 - Finland's Jarkko Ruutu gets a 2 and a 10 misconduct penalty for roughing so we won't see him on the ice for the rest of the period. Well after the play Olli Jokinen came in and tried to take out Kane's feet and sort of put him in a semi-headlock. Dirty play by a frustrated player.

15:51 - The entire period has been pretty even back and forth with a lot of play in the neutral zone. Still 6-0 USA.

End of the 2nd period - As Chrissy from Newport Harbor: The Real Orange County would say, this game is "O-V-E but not R" with the USA leading 6-0. The US had some good scoring chances in the last 2 minutes but couldn't get one past Backstrom. Shots 2nd period - USA: 9, Finland: 7.

3rd period
0:22 - Finland's goalie Backstrom gets an interference penalty for hitting away Patrick Kane's glove when he was trying to pick it up. Selanne will serve the penalty.

2:43 - USA couldn't get anything going on their PP and now Finland will go on the PP after Ryan Malone is called for high sticking.

5:10 - The US killed off the penalty without a problem and then Brooks Orpik and Jackson Johnson put a HUGE sandwich hit on a Finland player.

8:29 - Sami Lepisto gets a penalty for a stick to the face. The US just pulled Ryan Miller and replaced him by Tim Thomas who is seeing his first action of the Olympics. Miller received a standing ovation and stick cheering from the team. Smart move.

11:08 - Bobby Ryan took a shot off the side of the head and went down but skated to the bench on his own. He has his helmet off on the bench with his head down and ice on it. Hopefully he's alright.

14:46 - Finland finally gets on the board with a PP goal from Antti Miettinen. Shot was from the top of the circle and went over Tim Thomas' left shoulder. 6-1 USA.

End of the 3rd period - This game is O-V-E-R!! Final: 6-1 USA as they advance to the gold medal game Sunday at 3EST to face the winner of the Canada vs. Slovakia game later tonight. Finland outplayed the US in the 3rd period and outshot them 14-3 but it was too little too late. Final shots were even at 25 a piece.

Albertus Magnus Basketball Doesn't Fuck Around

Yeaahhhhhhhhh.....

Hi, We're The Boston Celtics And We Blow Huge First Half Leads

It was like 2 different teams last night. Shoot over 60% from the field in the first half and about 26% in the second. It's not good for my health. It's not good for anybodies health. Half of that game you're thinking this team is pretty solid, even without Paul Pierce. But then you wake the fuck up because the only sound you hear is the ball clinging off the rim and Doc Rivers pounding his feet on the hardwood. It's maddening. It's depressing. That first half I was thinking "OK these are the C's that are gonna romp come playoff time." Not so fast, my friend. I don't really get it. It's not like their game plan changed in the second half. Maybe their just old. Like there seems to be no fight left in these boys. Who knows? I know if I was part of the big 3 and this was likely our last year, I'd do anything to win one more ring. Listen, I get it better than anyone else out there watching this team. Some days it don't come easy and some days it don't come hard. Some days it don't come at all and those are the days that never end. Ya know? Some nights you're breathing fire and some nights you're carved in ice. And some nights this team is like something I've never seen before or will again! Maybe I'm crazy but it's crazy and it's true. I know Rondo can save us, no one else can save us now but you. Fuck it. Meat Loaf, take it away...

The Real World: DC - Episode 9

I just watched this weeks Real World episode called "Cheaters, Beaters and Pavement Eaters". It was one of the best, if not the best of the season. Andrew finally got laid (twice) and had some hilarious quotes about girls being dumb and ditzy while Josh cheated on his girlfriend like 100 times. All the guys found girls to hook up with except Mike, because he actually wears Ugg boots. Erika continues to get no air time while Ashley continues to annoy every person who watches the show. Seriously, the past few episodes featured her prominently and it made me not want to watch the show ever again. Thankfully this episode redeemed the season. Near the end of the episode Ty gets 'Patrick Schwasted' (too soon?) and pushes Andrew over the ledge on their porch which is probably 20 feet high. The episode ends with a "to be continued..." so we will have to wait until the next episode to see if Andrew is seriously hurt or if Ty will face legal issues. Video of the incident is below (fast forward to about 2:14 if you want to get straight to the push). On the scale of manliness from Gilmore Girls to 24 this episode was about a 7.

Canadian Women Hockey Players Know How to Party

Despite the fact that I despise all things Canada, I must admit their woman's hockey team knows how to party after a big win. They beat the US women Thursday 2-0 to win the gold medal and immediately brought beer, champagne, and cigars onto the ice to celebrate. This sounds like my type of woman. How bad ass is that - smoking cigars and drinking alcohol on the ice in front of thousands of people right after you won gold at the Olympics. Oh ya, some of the players are under the legal age of drinking in Vancouver (19). I guess that's why the IOC is getting all worked up. They (the IOC) have already said they will be looking into the matter and I'm sure nothing good will come of it but I say who cares - let them celebrate. Baseball teams routinely pop open bottles of champagne on the field after playoff series wins. I guess the only difference here are the few underage players, but who didn't drink when they were 18? It should be noted that Marie-Philip Poulin, who scored both of Canada's goals, is from Quebec where the drinking age is 18. Although female sports are like playing male sports underwater, I might just have to watch the next Canadian woman's hockey game to see if they turn it into a frat party after. I must note that I am not condoning underage drinking.


(photo from ESPN, Alex Livesey/Getty Images)

The full story can be found here - http://sports.espn.go.com/olympics/winter/2010/icehockey/news/story?id=4947716

Donahue Lovin' Dorm Life Pt. 2

Doesn't that kid go to the gym like every day? I hit gym about once a year and even I'm bigger or more cut up then this kid. C'mon dude. Throw some sleeves on, you're scaring the chicks away.

Brian Westbrook Prank Call

On Tuesday's SportsCenter Scott Van Pelt was talking about the release of Brian Westbrook when he announced he had Brian on the phone for an interview. Well little did Scott Van Pelt know that it was a prank call by Howard Stern's good friend Captain Janks. The call was going fine until Westbrook (aka Captain Janks) said "I have nothing but respect for head coach Andy Reid and I look forward to a future of worshiping the prostate of Howard Stern". Van Pelt could only reply with "Ohh boy, we got that, huh?". Hilarious moment on SportsCenter and reminding us all that Howard Stern still has it. I imagine ESPN screens the calls before they air them or operate on some sort of delay. I guess not. How the hell did Captain Janks get past the phone screening?!? As the kids say, Scott Van Pelt got "PWNED"! Check out the video below.

Real World Recap

It's back ladies and gents. Your reality television recap from the night before. We got all types of creatures on this season of Real World: D.C. An angry black dude(ty), a gay kid from colorado, 2 bitches who suffer from depression, a cute but chubby blonde, one chill girl(emily), a rocker weirdo(josh), and of course our main man, Andrew. We jump into this latest episode 19 minutes after it starts. Because I set the DVR late. Because I was doing actual work.

-The black dude pushed the chill chick with one hand and said he could destroy her with two. Are they all so angry?

- Andrew goes on a date with a past hook up. Why? "I wanna have sex with her again. Why else would you take a girl on a date?" Then he tells the waiter that he doesn't even remember what she looks like while waiting for her. Maahh mann

-"the date isn't going that great. She's blabbing about something. I don't know, I'm getting kind of annoyed with her actually."- Andrew

-Emily works with a bunch of young, black kids. All the poems involve anger and love. Oh, the irony!

-Josh's girlfriend comes to visit. Apparently he's been cheating on her for a couple weeks. I knew that relationship was gonna fail when his only response to why he was late picking her up was, "ya I know, took the metro."

-One of the depressed, bitchy chicks lets everybody know the guy she lost her virginity to, cheated on her before. The moral of that story is maybe you should've put out and he wouldn't have to cheat. Now go cut your wrist and write a song about it.

-I've been trying to figure out what Josh is wearing 90% of this episode. It's like a vest that goes to a 3 piece suit or something. He's too cool for school. I'm thinking new chatroulette outfit?

-Josh brings a chick back to the house the day after his girlfriend leaves. But then he calls her because he says he has to end it with his girlfriend before he goes further with the whore upstairs. So at least he has morals.

-When girls get upset do they always scream in anger and then break down into a tear fest?

-I hate when people say "it's not my business. But..." Then they continue to talk about what's not their business. I don't get it.

-Short, cute, blonde chubby chick has a brother who visits. And he's tall, ugly, blonde and skinny.

-"She is just staring him down. She's got blood in her eyes. One of these days I think she's actually going to go in Ty's room and smuther him."-Andrew describing the tension.

-I don't know what's going on but there's an argument on the front porch and Emily tells Ty to shove his apology up his ass. So he throws some chips at her. Then Andrew stumbles out and wants to order a pizza. That's how you diffuse a bomb, kids.

-Andrew gets thrown off the deck or something. I don't know.

BREAKING NEWS - Robbie Hummel Out For Season

Robbie Hummel, the great Purdue forward, is out for the season after tearing his ACL last night against Minnesota. This is a huge blow for Purdue who is currently ranked #3 in the country. Being a Penn Stater, I like to see the Big 10 succeed in post-season tournaments and this takes a probable final 4 team to maybe the sweet 16. Penn State plays Purdue for their last regular season game of the season so maybe our pathetic offense can get something done and steal a win to boost some morale. Yeah, probably not but I can dream. Penn State is so bad Purdue would probably beat them without Robbie Hummel and E'Twaun Moore. Anyways, I feel bad for Robbie Hummel and Purdoo-doo butter (the nickname we like to refer to them by) because Hummel is one of the brightest young stars in college basketball.

Spandex and Uggs enough said

For all of you out there in college or even highschool I've got one Question for you. Why do almost all girls wear a northface, spandex and uggs like almost everyo day in the winter time?? They even wear Uggs in the summer which is just retarted. I have no idea, it's almost like its a new club that they are all in and hold secret meetings about the next new color of uggs to buy or the next color northface to wear. Didn't it use to be that no girl would be caught dead wearing the samething as another girl in class? Now everywhere I turn I see girls in their, if you will uniforms. Is this the new trend for women's rights or something?? hahah yeah right. Personally I have nothing wrong with a girl wearing spandex thats for sure. If she wants to wear tight enough clothes to give her an excuse not to wear panties then I'm all for it. Plus it makes any girls butt look awesome, even the ugly ones...sometimes. But Why the Uggs? I think they look stupid especially since there is only like 5 different colors. Idk it just annoys me. And the Northface too, Why sure they are warm but whats up with this combination of what seems random clothes. I mean the northface and uggs will keep you warm but the spandex?? Idk....Personally Id rather just have girls wear spandex and a tanktop all year round..well only the hot ones, the ugly ones just need to stay inside. The Man signing off.

NOOOOOOO!!!!

SACRAMENTO, Calif. -- California lawmakers have a history of trying to keep the state's air and waters clean. Now they're tackling language. The state Assembly is scheduled to vote on a resolution Thursday calling for a statewide "Cuss Free Week," to occur annually during the first week of March. If approved, it would go to the state Senate for a final vote on Monday. The rest of next week will be officially swear-word free if both houses approve the resolution. The resolution by Assemblyman Anthony Portantino, D-La Canada Flintridge, was inspired by a South Pasadena teenager, McKay Hatch, who founded a No Cussing Club at his junior high school in 2007. His efforts to stamp out profanity have generated international attention, with 35,000 members joining the No Cussing Club's Web site. Portantino said the California Legislature -- known for imposing strict clean air and clean water laws -- is the first state legislative body in the nation to consider a statewide profanity-free week. Hatch, now 16, said he sees a link between cussing and drug use, bullying and other harmful behavior. A cuss-free world would be a more harmonious one, he said. "I want to bring as much awareness as I can to people about their language and how they're speaking to each other," Hatch said in a telephone interview Wednesday as he was headed to Sacramento. "We need to stop tearing people down and uplift them instead."

First thing I noticed about this article? This kid has 2 LAST names! Amazing. You see guys named Bob Tyler or something but never McKay Hatch. Who is this queen? He got 35,000 people to join a No Cussing Club? Huh? You have the power to make any club you want and you decide to start a group that doesn't put any emphasis on the end of their sentences? Fuck, man. You give me 35,000 followers and we're going global in a whole other way. I might have to get my 24 on and acquire some Nuclear rods like Hassan's brother or start my very own CTU. Or maybe charge everybody a dollar to get in and buy this blog some real advertising. But back to the real story. I don't like it. We need to stop tearing people down uplift them instead? Relax, Gandhi. Nobody says cursing tears down a wall of love. Like when Togs wrote his first post yesterday I sent him a message that said, "yo son, you butt fucked that post!" You're trying to tell me that brought him down a notch?

Bobby Kraft. Snapping Necks, Cashing Checks

Patriots owner Robert Kraft said Wednesday he thinks a deal is close with franchised DT Vince Wilfork, according to a transcript posted on Comcast Sports Net New England’s Web site. “Vince was a priority. And we worked very hard and I think both sides have worked hard and I think we’re close and I hope we close something but in the end, he was our priority, the first priority,” Kraft said. “We have a number of other deals we’ve got to do. We’re going about building our team and I hope in this process we get to close this out. I know he’s a very important part of our team and I think we made an offer that can hopefully get it done.” Kraft, in Indianapolis for the NFL Scouting Combine, also touched upon a Boston Herald report earlier this week in which Patriots receiver Randy Moss said he does not expect the Patriots to give him a new contract after his deal is up following the 2010 season. Moss told reporters, “…the Patriots don’t really pay. So when I got my second contract from them, that was a blessing in disguise.”

People said I've been pretty quiet so far in regards to the Patriots and their offseason moves. They say I've been spending too much time on ice dancing and shit like that. Well fuck you, that's the flavor of the week. I'm a slave to the media. No, I didn't ignore Moss' comments about him not getting paid, or Wilfork getting franchise tagged or LT and Westbrook getting released. Quite frankly, I don't want LT. At all. I think he's severely overrated. What running back were you watching the last 2 years that would you make him attractive? He's a step slower and his numbers have been on the decline for the past 4 seasons. He's not an every down back. If he wants to come aboard as a back up then I'm all for it but if we shell out over $2 million for the guy, forget about it. The money needs to go to the pass rush. Sign Wilfork up for another 6 years and get Peppers. As for Randy Moss, fuck him. The Patriots don't pay? He's getting paid $20 million for the past 2 seasons. They pay for the guys that earn it, not bitch about it.

Desperate For Desperate Housewives

We thought we would get the blog started on an extremely heterosexual note (/sarcasm). It's been nearly a month since the last Desperate Housewives episode and I was getting anxious. I just watched this week's episode and it was more manly than most of the episodes. The episode was called "Lovely" and was pretty much about the new stripper that Teri Hatcher lets stay at her house. The stripper is played by hottie Julie Benz who you may know as Rita Morgan on Dexter. The episode is broken into different segments detailing the neighbors interactions with Julie Benz and the highlight comes during her make-out scene with fellow cast member Dana Delaney (Katherine Mayfair).



There were some good scenes between Gabrielle (Eva Longoria) and her niece (Maiara Walsh) and both were looking perfect. Maiara Walsh is getting hotter and hotter every episode (since Eva is taken I can only hold out hope that Maiara is single). There is a new episode next week and Heidi Klum and Paulina Porizkova make an appearance. The last time I saw Heidi Klum in an episode of anything I watch was in How I Met Your Mother so I am looking forward to being able to use the excuse "I watched that episode because Heidi Klum was in it".

On the scale of manliness from Gilmore Girls to 24 this episode was about a 4 (hard for a show with the name "Desperate Housewives" to get much higher than that).

Welcome

Welcome to UGG Boots For Men, the place for guys to come and justify their guilty pleasures. If you are unsure of what exactly I am getting at, let me start by asking a few general questions. Are you a fan of "Grey's Anatomy"? Do you know what @taylorswift13 means? Have you a girlfriend or an imaginary girlfriend that you use an an excuse for flooding your Netflix queue with Kate Hudson movies? Can you name the last five winners of "American Idol" or how many high school musicals there have been? If you answered 'yes' or hesitated before you said 'no' then this is the place for you.

We aim to be your one stop shop for everything guys are embarrassed to admit that they like. Not only will we provide you a more discrete way to indulge than checking with Perez Hilton or TMZ, but we will help give you justifiable reasons to support your "alternative interests." This way, if you ever get caught up in a debate and need to take a stance, you have sufficient reason to back yourself up. You may think this concept is a little too gay but fear not. We will also be heavily talking about the one thing guys will instantly admit that they live and die for - sports. We here at UGG Boots For Men live and breathe sports and will be sure to feature that prominently. Did Brett Favre just release a new 'pants on the ground' video? Was Derek Jeter's purpose to win another World Series just so Minka Kelly would accept his proposal? When it happens, you'll learn about it here first. So grab a beer and rationalize your guilty pleasures buried beneath those manly vibes you put off.

Sean Avery Has Produced The Greatest Tweet Of All Time!

seanaverydotcom

I think someone should beat up @jimmyfallon in Vancouver tonight, i will mail u $1000 us if u do it.........

Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes! It's not secret me and Jimmy Fallon don't get along. I just think he's a talentless piece of shit who got Conan's job because he kissed Lorne Michael's ass for years on SNL. I genuinely liked Fallon, too and I wanted to give him a real shot as a host of late night. But there was one problem that I couldn't get over. He's not funny. Kind of important when hosting a comedy talk show. Some of his skits are clever. But he doesn't write that shit. So it's not all his fault. I get that. But have you ever seen him interview somebody? Motherfucker has a case of the sillys(i see you lszurls) 24/7. It's annoying. It's not cute or goofy or whatever the head execs tell him at NBC. You're probably asking yourself why Sean Avery suggests that somebody should bitch Jimmy Fallon. Because he's all over twitter, posting pictures and saying "Go Canada." Huh? Dude. This is America. You're American. Go to the USA/Switzerland game and shout Go USA. I wouldn't want Yao Ming going to a USA/Mexico soccer game and cheering for us when China was playing Brazil 3 hours earlier in the same stadium. Was that the worst analogy all time? Yes.


On a side note, Conan O'brien started twittering today and he doubled Leno's follower count in 2 hours. And that's something I'm very, very excited about.

I Just Saw This Ad On This Very Blog

Couple questions. What do you think the minimum GPA is to get in there? What's the definition of a troubled young adult? Do they teach surfing at Sober College? If one were to graduate with a diploma from there, where do future employers rank it? 25 is the age limit? I don't agree with anything. Shouldn't they ask the boss man what he wants on his page before they start making poor togs look like a drug addict?

Vince Carter Can Still Hit The Big Shot....

...when it doesn't count. It looks real and it probably is but I don't buy it. Any video that doesn't follow the ball the entire way kinda sketches me out. Whatever. I'm not impressed. Let me know when he starts doing shit that actually matters. Like averaging over 20 points a game. Or winning a NBA title. Or anything other than a dunk contest. Hall of famer? Are you mental?

Cuba Gooding Jr. Is Canadian?

Not cool, dude. Not cool. Wikipedia page says he was born in New York. Now I don't feel bad about his career going down the drain after Snow Dogs. You didn't actually think that movie was going to succeed did you? Sisqo was in it. As a doctor. Yeah, Thong Song Sisqo.

Random Hot Chick of The Week

Togs here, I'm gonna start my own weekly segment on this shit starting now. What I'm gonna be doing is finding a random hot celebrity or maybe even some random girl I know at CCSU. So here is my first and one of my favs. Its Katy Perry! Yes and she is hot as you can see by these pics. She may be a little pale and a little weird but who isnt weird really. You or you may not like her music but you have to like at least two things she has and they are looking right at you. If you don't know what I'm talking about ill let you know its her nice big tits. Duh! Her breasts are big and she likes to show them off. If you google her most of the pics you will find are ones with her boobs busting out of her clothes, which is awesome. Now only if she wasn't dating that scummy british comedian Russel Brand, who I think is ugly as fuck, as the saying goes British people mind the gap (I'm refering the gap British people have in between their teeth). Now some people may dissagree with me but i dont care this is my segment so im picking who I think is hot. But I think Katy is a good start to this segment. If you have any suggestions on who I should put up next week let me know. The Legend signing off.

P.S. Katy if you read this, I love you, and I'll show you what a real man is like and make you the center of my world. ;)

When Kobe Hits a Game Winner, I Die a Little More Inside

MEMPHIS, Tenn. -- Hitting a game-winning shot never gets old for Kobe Bryant. "Every time it feels like the first time," he said.Bryant returned to lineup after missing five games with an ankle injury and made a 3-pointer with 4.3 seconds left to lift the Los Angeles Lakers to 99-98 victory over the Memphis Grizzlies Tuesday night.Bryant led the Lakers with 32 points, including his team's final nine points. His 3-pointer with 54 seconds left tied the game at 96-all. His game-winner came off an inbounds play 4 seconds after his layup attempt was blocked by Rudy Gay. "He kept making plays at the end of the game," Memphis coach Lionel Hollins said of Bryant. "Great players make great plays. You've got to give him his due [but] it hurts."

Every time it feels like the first time? Yeah? Really? Is that you told that poor white girl before you raped her in Colorado? Anyway, there's no denying Kobe is much in the clutch and I'm not a hater. I used to like him a lot. I may have had a #8 jersey when I was young buck. I think if he didn't play on the Lakers he would still be my favorite player behind Rondo, Durant and Rudy Fernandez. He's just fun to watch. Like an artist at work. But for our intents and purposes, he's the enemy. Maybe one day we can get together and talk about how silly this rivalry thing is.

Chat Roulette Tuesday

No underage girls tonight. Kinda upset about it. But I did get a 9 year old boy, a gay dude and a foreigner who loves sexy women. That's what happens when you chatroulette, I suppose.

This Is a Big First Date, Buddy

I'm not gonna shun Nate Robinson. Yet. There's potential that he can actually be a pretty nice compliment in the back court. It's not too much to ask this clown to dribble the ball, run some plays and chip in with a couple points every night. He can obviously go off for 30 on any given night. And he can obviously put up 4 points, 3 assists and go 2-18 on shooting. He's that type of guy. Is he an upgrade from Eddie House? Athletically, yes but chemistry wise probably not. I'm not as worried about him destroying this team with his ego as I was 'cause KG will probably throw his punk ass in the boston harbor if he starts calling for the ball when Ray Allen is supposed to be rolling off of screens for quick shots. The bottom line is tonight is a first date. Have you ever read Malcolm Gladwell. Well, you should. In Blink he writes about this thing called "thin slicing." How someone can gauge what is really important from a narrow point or experience. Like the power of our unconscious behavior and relying on our insticts. It's actually pretty fucking fascinating. So if tiny nate walks onto the court tonight and jacks up a 3 this marriage is fucking over. But if he plays defense, chips in with 8 points and 4 assists and doesn't make a stink about it, we can co-exist. And if he does his press conference in a bow tie then it's really mean to be.


p.s. don't try to fuck me. You mess with the bull, you get the horns.

Ok So here We go

So here it is, my first official post! I fell like I have big standards to live up to with this blog and its high prestige. So here it is I'm thowin down the gauntlet. Me and Rza go back a long way all through highschool and middle school. What im gonna bring to the table is gonna be balls out blogging with no regard for human life. I shall also take part in posting my own chat roullette adventures and bringing you all the exictement of living on campus at CCSU. Ill also make sure to let everyone know how bad i beat Rza in madden whenever he has the balls to play me. Of course I will cover sports just like Rza, Ill be bringing you a some New York Mets info as well for all you Mets fans out there, i know your reading this. So like Rza said ill be his Rodman to his Jordan but ill bring a little Ben Gordan in the mix to. So get ready blogging world cause hear I come!