We Play Chess. You Play Checkers.

Boston avoided arbitration with Kevin Youkilis, agreeing to a four-year contract with the first baseman worth more than $40 million, sources told ESPN's Peter Gammons. The deal includes an option for a fifth year.Youkilis enjoyed a breakout season in 2008, hitting .312 with 29 home runs and 115 RBIs.

Was I upset when the spanks jewed us out of Tex? Sure and understandably so. He led us on like a girl who lays in your bed all night and then inevitably passes out on your basement floor. Oh funny story. Like when BILLY BAYNE DOES SOMETHING I WONT WRITE ABOUT. cunt. Anyway, it didn't take long to rid myself of the hangover and realize an important factor. We're the motherfucking Red Sox. We don't need a needle dick like Tex. We got Youk. Last I checked he was a MVP Candidate and he raped Tex and the angels in the playoffs. He also beat A-rod in the playoffs...because the Yankees didn't make it....yiiikes. I'll take Pedroia and Youk for a combined 80.5 million for the next 5 years over anyone. Oh, I'll also take that championship ring now. CUE THE DUCK BOATS.