long night last night...wasn't able to posty post post. Feelin like kevin nestico a bit skippin days. Hockey is not a sport for the faint of heart, the clumsy, the ugly, or anybody not named scott boucher. THIS KIDS GOT GAME! I mean hey, I probably dropped more goals today than the kid but hes not a greedy puck-hogging asshole like I am. Scotty B threads thru a defense like Dave Keepin threads through pink slips. Everybody loves an allstar, but scotty dominated today on the ice. Lets check out some stats from todays game on the pond.
Ookie Avery- 1 goal, 1 assist, 1 steal, 1 fight lost..overall record of 1-1 .Avery suffered today in Scottys shadow...however ook troop looks to be a top 5 pick next sunday.
Baynetrain (billydabomb)- 1 goal, 1 assist, 17 steals, 2 falls...overall record of 0-2. Bayne got his legs about him today. When he first came on the ice he looked like a newborn calf (see animal planet) but by 4:00...he was a purebred gazelle
Connor Rza (he's stored in my phone like that)- 1 goal (on accident), 1 assist (also an accident), 0 steals, 1800 falls...overall record of 0-1. Rza is not a man for the ice and his play clearly showed that today. I started him off real nice with a bundle and he never got his legs back. Rza looked like steven glandsberg out there playing in a league of his own. "the amount of times my dick hit the ice today, im not getting a boner for a month"
D-Sizzles (i feel so gay nicknaming myself)- 13 goals, 0 assists (puck hog), 3 steals, 9 tragic falls which i swear were all on purpose....overall record of 2-0. Plainville Indoor Sports Arena PISA taught me well, i came out firing, and left with blisters on my ankles that look like aids (does aids have a look?)
Mikey skate too fast Orfy- 1 goal, 1700 assists (not on purpose), 2 steals, 3 of the most epic falls of all time. clearly everytime orfinator jumped he thought he was jumping into a sand pit...little did he know the ice is much less forgiving. Orf just couldnt put it in the goal today...marissa knows all about that
MVP Scotty Boucher- 20 goals, 20 assists, 20 steals, never fell cause hes better than everyone else, and broke everybodys ankles. we arrive at the pond while mikey, scott, and scotts braces were shoveling. We all seemed to be pretty shitty at the sport but oh boy scotty waited to put on his skates. Comes out there, rips more goals than a man possibly can, breaks the goals, just pha-nominal. somebody sign him up
we'll regroup, learn from this experience and pick up where we left off- Connor "I have bigger balls than you" Rusinko.
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