Tony Larussa Walks Out On Reporters After Cardinals Slow Start

Okay, first of all - by my count it took Big Boy Tony Larussa 22 seconds to take that stretchy band off his wrist. Was he drunk? Wait, don't answer that! That's still not an excuse. That one-armed surfer could do it faster.

No one is questioning whether or not Albert Pujols will hit, Tony. I think they are questioning whether the rest of the lineup made up of Skip Schumaker, Ryan Theriot, David Mr. Freese, LANCE BERKMAN and Yadier Molina will hit. In fact, I don't even think people are questioning whether those guys will hit as much as they are questioning whether some of them should be collecting social security and others should be in AA.

Ugg Boots For Men Poll:
The only thing those guys are going to hit this year are A) drunk chicks at the bar B) their wives C) the bottle D) the bottle part 2 E) the bottle part 3 F) there is no F.

Tony, I know deep down that you don't even expect this lineup to score runs outside of Albert Pujols solo shots and since that isn't happening you aren't even upset. All you really want is someone to go drink with right now and since the coolest player on your team (Matt Holliday) is in the hospital it's making you salty.