You might not know it by the look of me but I'm a pretty strong dude. So you can imagine my frustration when I can't get the fucking top to even twist just a little bit. It's like it's fucking glued by Satan's semen or something. Not to mention I'm actually eating pretzels as I type this so my thirst level is at an all time high. Yeah, the surprise mile run in 3rd grade when all you wore were blue jeans was pretty shitty but this bottle struggle is making that look like a picnic. I just want to know if there is anything that makes your anger jump from a resting 5 to a 12 more than a stubborn gatorade top. I don't think there is. I've already thrown into the ground twice and told it to go fuck itself like I wish I could do to every girl that's ever broke my heart.
On a side note, is this the greatest friendship photo ever? We have 116 together and Facebook chooses that one. Bravo.
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