LANCASTER, Pa. -- Police said a 72-year-old pizza shop employee foiled a shotgun-point robbery by throwing a can of beer at the perpetrators.Lancaster Umstead said the man threw a 12-ounce can of beer at the robber and both assailants fled the store. police Lt. Todd Umstead said two men with bandannas over their faces attempted to rob Six Packs on Vine at closing time Wednesday. One of the men pointed a shotgun at the employee, who was stocking a cooler. Police said the employee could not tell if the beer struck either of the men but it was enough to chase them off.
Ummmm? What kind of fucking robbers are in Lancaster, Pa? First off, why rob a pizza shop? If I'm trying to find a jackpot a wealth, the corner bistro isn't going to be my destination. But here's my favorite part. You're holding a shotgun and an old man hits you with a beer and you flee the scene like it's the goddamn holocaust? All I'm saying is if I'm a big shot thief like I claim to be by toting a shotgun around, I'm not making the mad dash. I'm catching the beer, cracking it open, pour it over my face like Stone Cold Steve Austin, yell out 'prepare to meet your maker' or something corny and blowing that old fuck into oblivion. Then snagging my slice of pizza and the quarters from the tip jar.
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