DETROIT -- David Ortiz doesn't think that his season-long slump has anything to do with his eyes. At this point, though, he's willing to try just about anything. Ortiz, who didn't play in Boston's 6-3 win over Detroit Thursday, is hitting .187 with just one home run this season. "I've been thinking about getting my eyes checked -- for real," he said. "My vision has always been 20-20, and I'm not feeling anything crazy, but I'm going to get it checked out."
Oh thank heavens! Listen, I love big papi just as much as the next guy but I'm also the type of guy to call a square a square. I'm not gonna be a bitch about it. If it smells like a rat and it looks like a rat then god dmanit it much be a rat. Ortiz sucks. This isn't just some fucking slump. It's like he's lost all of his ability to hit the ball and there isn't a day that goes by where I dont curse him out and slap a baby in it's face. What I'm about to say may shock some people but whatever, here it goes. I would rather watch 24 hours of constant surveliance of Spencer Pratt than watch Papi swing the baseball bat. That's real. He just looks like a finished man. Like a wrestler. Guys Hulk Hogan still have their size but they don't have the same ability
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