Bear Falls From Tree. Breaks Trampoline. So Long, Sweet Summer.

HIGHLANDS RANCH, Colo. -- A black bear that wandered into a Highlands Ranch neighborhood has been tranquilized and moved to the foothills. A resident on Ramshead Court heard dogs barking about 9 a.m. Friday, so he glanced out the window and thought that a big tree branch had broken, reported KMGH-TV in Denver."Then I started focusing and saw a big bear claw. And then I called neighbors and told them to get their dogs in and their kids because we have a lot of kids in the cul-de-sac," Rod Michotte said."I heard the panic in his voice. I kind of panicked and I thought, 'What's going on?' And he said, 'Look out the window! There's a bear in the tree!" said next-door neighbor Diana Navo. "Kids aren't happy. It broke the trampoline when he fell, but he was about 30 feet into the air. It looks like it came out alright. It's a little more excitement than I anticipated this morning," Rod Michotte said. "That's going to be a daily occurance -- checking out the yard. Maybe not me checking it out but my husband -- send him out first," Cindy Michotte said."Things like this kind of keep us on our toes and it just makes us kind of aware that wildlife is always around us and we've got to be ready for it," neighbor Michael Whitlow said.

Is that the proper spelling of 'cul-de-sac'? I'm just curious. Some people pronounce it culvesack. I know my friends uncle likes to say curved sack. Maybe because he has one. Anyway. Let's just say this story hit a little close to home. They didn't call me 'Big Bear' in my first college semester because I had the instincts of a wild beast. A bear in the tree? Give me something hard to believe people. It's fucking Colorado. I thought bears in trees were as common as an ugly bitch in a hot group of females. There is always one. Think about it. Whats up Sellberg? I guess the real victim in this act is the kids. Talk about your summer getting off to a bang, eh? Trampolines are golden in the sweet summer breeze. By day, it's a way to release that pent up energy and jump with joy. Possibly lay on it and sweat out that hangover. And by night it's a goddamn sex magnent. You're flat out wrong if you're telling me that bitches don't fiend for that shit. It's not called a TRAMPonline for nothing. I'm just happy that the lesson has been learned. The wifey says these type of shenanigans keep them on their toes. Always gotta be ready for whatever. I love it. My type of lady. If she followed all of that up with a simple, "gotta keep your head on a swivel. It's a fuckin jungle out there" I'd fly myself out to Colorado and marry that broad.


P.S. Bear Grylls wearing the old Bears Sweater vest? Well played, sir. Well played.