Monday, October 4, 2010

Jersey Shore Live Blog Is Back In a Bad Way

-Angelina punches Situation because he called her hoe "like a jerk off." Technically she did say if she wants to bring home 10 guys then it's OK. Definition of a hoe.

-Is it just me or is Vinny kind of black this season? He's always wearing a hat to the side and saying things like "that's all on you playaaa"

-"She brought all these random people home. She's a girl, you don't do that. That's a guy thing, guys do that." - Amen, Pauly D. Or as Vinny would say "Word to dat playaa"

-Jwoww says as a woman she realizes the hardships Angelina has been going through. Let's use that "woman" term loosely when referring to Jwoww. Skanky leopard might be better. She also didn't use the word hardships. That's not in her 4th grade vocab.

-What time is it now? T-shirt timeeee.

-"I say listen baby you're sleepin ova tonight. What typa pajams you want?" The Situation has dibs on the smash room. The same guy who is on Dancing With The Stars.

-The guys make a big deal out of situation bringing a Canadian girl home as if we didn't share a border with that country. You'd think she was a Indonesian POW by the way they're talking.

-19 minutes into the episode and still no Snooki. Not cool.

"Samantha has no shame in her game at all. She's great in bed and the next thing you know she's eating an egg sandwich with MVP. You can't find 'em like that these days." You mean a chick trying to milk her time on television? You can find those everywhere.

-Angelina wants Situaiton to drop his anger about her sleeping in his bed with Jose. Situation replies with "Who are you to tell me to drop it? drop your big ass!" They're such adults.

-33 minutes in and Snooki finally gets her first time on camera. She'd love to find a guido juice head, with her personality, her style and is not a cheater. She does not want to go to match.com again. I didn't make up any of that. It's exactly what she said.

-Snooki couldn't find a gorilla juice head. But does she mean gorilla or guerilla? Because there's a big difference there. I mean it could be Shaq or it could be Che on roids(guerilla). Both equally terrifying.

-Angelina is mad Snooki brought home Dennis AKA "her guy." I thought she was with Jose? He even bought her a 30 dollar Fossil watch!

-Snooki and Angelina get into a debate about who is swimming in who's sloppy seconds. It's about to get heated. Snooki takes her earrings off and walks over for a casual slap which results in straight hair pulling.

-Round 2 is a little more interesting. Angelina gets a running start but Snooki pulls a swim move and takes her down. "I'm still pretty bitch!"

-Sammi tells Angelina "I never once told you I never not liked you." She could have simply said "I never said I hated you." But noooo she just had to be retarded.

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